I have written previous posts about being in a verbally abusive marriage. While I have had inklings through my childhood that my grandfather (who I have held up on a pedestal all of my life) could also be verbally abusive like my husband, I recently discovered that he was also physically abusive toward my grandmother. Please pray for me as I struggle to understand this new image of my grandfather, why I have allowed this cycle of abusive to continue, and how I can change it. My marriage is struggling deeply. I haven’t shared this news with him because I don’t trust him and I am afraid to express myself to him. Please pray that I can cope with this. I always thought my grandfather was the epitome of a strong man to look up to. Now, he just seems as bad as my husband. I am heartbroken over this.
Prayers for your intentions said.
I am praying for you.
May the Holy Spirit, who helped you discover this about your grandfather, grant you the wisdom to take advantage of this knowledge in order to stop this destructive cycle in your life, and may His love surround you and give you the strength you need.
Alma
I’m very sorry. These are very hard things to go through. I will pray for you.
There is a book that you might find helpful; The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. She has also written about 4 other follow-up books and you can find them in any bookstore; usually in the self-help section. If you choose to read one or more of these books, it will help you understand what you are going through and how to deal with it.
You have probably heard this before, but counseling would probably be helpful too. You need support and a real live person who knows what they are talking about, to give you feedback and guidance…
Godspeed.
There are no others that you might look to in positive relationships? Hang on to the love you knew with your grandfather. As far as your relationship with him, it is not a lie.
I was unsuccessful in an abusive marriage-with children the abuses were physical, sexual, verbal, trying all the things that I knew to do as a Christian…turn the other cheek, patience, love, kindness, understanding, go the extra mile, and return good for evil…However, in his case, this only seemed to provoke him more.
Is the verbal abuse only toward you? Or is this his personality with everyone? Counseling is in order. Catholic Charities offers wonderful counseling with family therapists…It is income based. That is not meant that you are in need of Charity. It’s just a place that I know of that are very good at what they do.
With verbally abusive in school, I asked them to do visuals of what they were saying. I would make quips regarding the reality of what they were saying. It got where some thought it made sense, others, stopped around me just so they didn’t have to hear one of my stupid quips again.
Prayers are with. I will include you in a 54 day novena we’re doing.
I hope you find the will and endurance to cope with such a struggle.
I know what it feels like to see the good in people, only to be very sadly mistaken.
Have no fear for the good you saw in your grandfather may still be there. All those years of love and joy have lots of meaning, I am sure he still tried to do good by you in the end.
Is it that he “WAS” abusive or “Has always been” abusive? Can you forgive him?
I’ll be sure to include you in my prayers!
:gopray2:
Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now
and shall ever be, world without end.
Amen.
:signofcross:
I will pray for you too.
:gopray:
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
:signofcross:
I just said a prayer for you. May you find refuge in the Wounds of Our Lord.
:gopray:
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
:signofcross:
Lord, please grant LdrGirl many graces and helps from loving souls and angels to help her in this situation. Bestow both on her and her husband graces for humility, wisdom, magnanimity, fortitude, and courage. Lead them through this difficult time and see that love always prevail in their marriage in union with your Sacred Heart. Our Lady, pray with us. Amen.
:gopray:
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
:signofcross:
Loving Jesus please grant this person the strength, wisdom and guidance
Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
:crossrc:
:gopray:
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
:signofcross:
Loving Jesus, one with the most sacred heart, please hear these special intentions
Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
:crossrc:
Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come Thy Will Be Done On Earth As It Is In Heaven, Give us this day our daily bread & Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But Deliver Us From Evil. Amen.
Hail Mary Full of grace the Lord is with you, Blessed art Thou amongst women & blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb Jesus, Holy May Mother Of God, Pray For Us Sinners now and at the Hour Of Our Death. Amen.
Gloria be to the Father & to the Son & to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning its now and ever shall be world without end. Amen.
God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the wisdom to know the difference. Amen
Angels Of God, our Guardian Dear, To whom Gods Love entrusts us here, every this day/night night be at our side to light and guard & to rule & guide. Amen
Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
:gopray:
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
:signofcross:
:gopray:
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
:signofcross:
Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen