Adult "first" Communion

Liturgy and Sacraments
#1

Hello;
My husband was baptized in the Catholic Church. He did not make his First Communion or get confirmed. He feels terrible about this, which is getting more awkward as our fourth (and last) child is going to be recieving her First Communion this spring, leaving him the only one sitting in the pew when we go to recieve during weekly Mass. I feel that he shouldn’t feel guilty about it, as the responsibility for helping him access these Sacraments while in childhood rested soley on his parents. They had three children go through their Sacraments and three they did not follow through on.

We attend Mass regularly, I have taught religious ed for several years, we are active in church, our children have made all their Sacraments on schedule, and, in a strange twist, my husband actually knows more about church history and the bible than I do.

We have heard of some churches where you just go to classes for about 6 weeks and then are confirmed and we know about the RCIA program as well. Is the shortened program appropriate for him to recieve both First Communion and get Confirmed, or is something like that just for Confirmation only. Since he partakes in the regular life of our church, does “First” Communion have to be done, or can we prepare privately and have him start recieving, without a seperate ceremony?

I know, obviously, that the short answer would be to speak with our priest, but I hope people can understand that he feels quite embarrassed by this. I have tried to explain that his reception would be welcoming, but I can understand how hard it is for him to come forward with this. I am actually disappointed that his parents put him in this predicament, especially where they made sure half of their kids followed through, but then left the other half of the family hanging. I have no idea why. It makes me sad that he often wonders if he has no cnance of getting into heaven because he hasn’t been Confirmed.

Any insight or thoughts would be welcome, particularly about the Communion part. CAN he receive with just Baptism? Receiving the rest of his Sacraments is something we have discussed our entire married life, and getting confirmed is something he very much wants to do, but with hectic work and family lives as well as a LONG stretch of difficult times (illness, deaths in family, etc) it hasn’t gotten accomplished yet.
Thank you in advance for any thoughts, wisdom.

God Bless!

#2

Well, you know the quick answer :wink:
These sacraments are immense graces, I would encourage your husband to put away his embarrassment and take the plunge deeper into his faith. Your priest will know the specifics of the parish, but I think there is often an “abbreviated” RCIA for candidates for Confirmation.

#3

It sounds like your husband is an uncatechized, baptized adult. As such he would be invited to go through a process like the RCIA. This is nothing to be embarrassed about – it happens to people all the time. Speak to your parish priest or deacon about how to rectify the situation. What he will go through is a function of how well he knows the faith.

Deacon Ed

#4

Hmm for me this arises some questions.

He was baptized in the catholic church.
He never got his first communion or the confirmation so he must do.

Can a catholic marry by the church if they are not able to recieve communion?

Or maybe you are not married by the church?

#5

Call the parish office, they’ll have a definitive answer for you. But he’s living and behaving like a Catholic, he’s entitled to participate in the sacraments. He will probably need to go to confession first.

If he hasn’t made his first confession, it’s just because he hasn’t made his first one yet. There’s nothing different with the 1st or the 1001st time. Likewise for communion: you make your first communion on the first time that you receive communion.

For things like confirmation, he’ll probably need to go through a catechesis program like RCIA. Though he’s not a convert, there’s probably a lot to learn-- and that’s the typical way to be confirmed as an adult.

But strictly speaking, he wouldn’t need to wait to finish RCIA to make his first confession and first communion. You might want to run it by the pastor first (seriously, call the parish secretary-- they’ll have the answer), but he’s not far out from the process.

The age for “first communion” is officially listed at the “age of discretion”, which means that you’re old enough to recognize sin/grace and that the Eucharist is the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ. In the USA, it’s typically around 7 or 8 years old-- but I’ve heard an anecdotal story about Pope St. Pius X giving communion to a 5 year old because when he asked the boy who was in communion, the boy replied “Jesus!” If a child is old enough to receive the Lord, certainly the same is true for your husband!

#6

Can a catholic marry by the church if they are not able to recieve communion?

Or maybe you are not married by the church?

Yes…We were married in a Catholic Church. Twenty years this year! Yay! :thumbsup:

I remember being worried about his lack of being Confirmed, but the priest just needed his Certificate of Baptism.

#7

first confession

, it’s just because he hasn’t made his first one yet. There’s nothing different with the 1st or the 1001st time. Likewise for communion: you make your first communion on the first time that you receive communion.

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. That’s what I was wondering… if First Communion and First Confession HAD to be a day specifically marked at Church or could be done on one’s own. We have four kids, so I think by now he knows the Religious Ed books by heart anyway and he totally understands the wonder of the Eucharist. I taught Religious Education at Church for several years, and then in our home for about four more years. I do think it would be good for him to go through RCIA or some version of it, and I really do wish that he would understand that the Church is there to help him with this, not to bring him down for something that his parents should have helped him with.

In the USA, it’s typically around 7 or 8 years old-- but I’ve heard an anecdotal story about Pope St. Pius X giving communion to a 5 year old because when he asked the boy who was in communion, the boy replied “Jesus!” If a child is old enough to receive the Lord, certainly the same is true for your husband!

Thanks for the anecdote…very interesting! And yes…I agree and truly feel in my heart that he is more than ready and deserving. It’s more about the formality of having it be official. In his heart it already is a sealed deal. He is a wonderful husband and a great Catholic.

#8

in this diocese bishop introduced a program intended specifically for people like the gentleman in OP, baptized Catholics who have a good basic understanding of the faith, are practicing and attending Mass, but for whatever reason did not complete their initiation sacraments. RCIA is not appropropriate for such an individual, but every parish should have classes for adult confirmation.

It so happens that the parent-sponsor classes one is required to take when their children are preparing for sacraments cover the same ground as the adult confirmation course, so in this parish, and several others, adults have more than one option on how to prepare.

Please visit your pastor or the person he has delegated for this responsibility. Yes it is sad to see children coming forward for first communion while parents remain in the pew, and this could so easily be remedied with a little bit of action and creativity.

Our bishop has made full benefit of the sacraments for all Catholics a priority and each year has addressed at least one sacrament for special attention. Marriage is coming up, thanks be to God.

for first communion assuming OP’s husband has attended the parent classes or is otherwise catechised on the meaning of Eucharist, and has prepared for and make confession, he should begin receiving immediately. Please consult with the pastor on this today. He can then finish whatever confirmation requirements your diocese has well before the planned time for adult confirmation.

#9