I’ve seen lots of confusion over what is sin and not sin within marriage, so I just wanted to give some quotes about this matter.
The best person to ask such question is Jason Evert
Catholic Answers, just ask for Jason Evert:
“Many Christian marriages are breaking up, as if their unity in Christ was no more binding than the attachments of a secular marriage. Moreover, many Christian marriages are struggling to survive. One practice that contributes to the weakening of marriages is oral sex as part of foreplay in sexual relations. By oral sex, I am referring to oral-genital contact between spouses. There is no authoritative teaching of the Catholic Church permitting or forbidding oral sex as part of foreplay preceding normal marital sexual relations. Pope Pius XII taught: “The Creator Himself…established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation” quoted in The Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2362). The question is: “Is oral sex as foreplay ‘within the limits of just moderation’?” There are reasons to maintain that it is not and is therefore damaging to true marital love.”
. . . .
Nihil obstat: Rev. Robert J. Buschmiller, February 1, 1996
Imprimatur: † Most Rev. Carl K. Moeddel, Vicar General and Auxiliary Bishop of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, February 5, 1996
Traditionally, the Church teaches that a married couple may engage in oral sex foreplay, but this should always lead to a climax through vaginal sex. Oral sex is not to be used as an alternative to vaginal sex, as a form of birth control.
Cordially yours, Fr. Matthew Habiger OSB
Question 112 – Christopher West’s Teaching on Sex in Marriage
Here are the quotes and references from Christopher West:
“…but it’s not inherently wrong if the wife climaxes as a result of oral stimulation, so long as it’s within the context of a completed act of intercourse…. Furthermore, while there’s nothing wrong per se with oral-genital contact as foreplay to intercourse, such expressions require the greatest degree of purity and reverence….”
Good News About Sex and Marriage, p. 93
“…if the wife, despite their sincere efforts, was unable to climax during penetration, it may well be the loving thing for the husband to stimulate her to climax thereafter (if she so desired). In this case, such stimulation is not inherently masturbatory since it is within the context of a completed act of intercourse.”
Good News About Sex and Marriage, p. 91
Thanks for the email. In terms of expressions of sexual affection with
marriage, the church does not forbid couples from using oral or manual
stimulation as acts of foreplay that lead up to intercourse. But, spouses
must take into consideration the wishes of the other. For example, a wife
may not at all feel comfortable with certain forms of sexual affection,
and her husband should respect that. While foreplay can involve different
forms of affection, the sexual act must be finished in the natural way,
through vaginal intercourse. The man should not climax in another way. In
fact, in Love and Responsibility, JPII said that it’s virtuous for the
man, as much as he is able, to try to time his climax with hers. Now, this
is not necessarily always possible, because a woman may climax more than
I hope this helps. Although I have not read it, I understand that the book
“Holy Sex” by Gergory Popcak delves into these matters with clarity and
You’re very welcome.
It is permissible to have intercourse when the woman is not fertile, such as during pregnancy or after menopause. This doesn’t mean that the couple is not open to life, because their actions are still ordered toward procreation. After all, they’re not doing anything to deliberate interrupt or sterilize the sexual act.
Secondly, to purposefully ejaculate outside of the woman is a grave sin. In the OT, Onan is struck dead for it. However, if it’s an accident, it lessens the guilt of a sin. But, a couple should do their best to avoid such an accident.