I have received a church annulment for a previous marriage and am married to my husband for 5 years (civil only). I was not a practicing Catholic for almost 26 years and then returned to the Church recently. My husband is supportive of my choice to return to the Church but will NOT participate in a Catholic wedding ceremony. Please, without judging my husband, can someone tell me if I have any options for being able to receive communion again? Is living as “brother and sister” my ONLY option?
Anne
What’s so bad about that?
Go to confession. Start clean. Abstain for a week or two. Receive Communion. See if it isn’t a workable solution.
We already “abstain” for medical reasons…not church motivated reasons. Been to confession - got that taken care of. So, for the moment I CAN receive…Just wondering if there was another option in case things change. Abstinace is much easier for those who are doing it for religious reasons. To the non-Catholic spouse it makes no sense (for the most part). I really wanted to know if there were any “church sanctioned” options that I was not aware of.
Thanks for the reply -
Anne
what about having your marriage blessed? That should take care of it and then it is no longer an issue:)
I have spoken to my priest about getting the marriage “blessed”. What he says is that it is actually a marriage ceremony done by a Catholic priest either in the church or a chapel. It is still technically a Catholic wedding …takes two:( Ithought it would be much less complicated than it is…we still need to do the pre-marital survey, and have questionaires filled out by friends (that they need to get sealed by a local Catholic church) that state that they know we are able to marry eachother legally…It is rather involved…
THanks for the post -
Anne
When I converted, we had to get married from “scratch” in the Catholic Church. My DH REALLY resented that because he said that when he married me, he married me “for good” that he said what he meant and meant what he said, and that nobody could tell him that 30 years of fidelity was NOT a marriage.
Although the Easter Vigil was looming, I refused to “put a clock in his throat.” I would not pressure him because I saw how strongly he felt about it. But when he saw how much I wanted to be able to receive the sacraments, he finally relented. We still celebrate our non-Catholic wedding date as our anniversary date.
This is too important to leave to opinions.
Please consult someone within the marriage tribunal at your diocese for an accurate answer.
Everything I have been taught and have read as a marriage prep instructor has said that you must wait to receive Holy Communion until your marriage is blessed, regardless if you’ve been to confession.
The reason being for that is that as a Catholic, you chose to marry outside of the Church and must reconcile that issue first. THEN go to confession and receive Communion. You’re already half-way there in seeking and receiving the annulment. I have a sister-in-law in the exact same situation, and she has been instructed by our diocese (Phoenix) to continue to abstain from Holy Communion until her marriage is blessed. (Her husband is also balking, as well - we’re praying and giving him the time he needs.)
Perhaps when your husband sees how much this means to you, his heart will soften. Remember, you’re not forcing him to convert, just asking for his cooperation to help make your spiritual life complete.
In the meantime, live your life as a faithful Catholic knowing that Jesus is thrilled to have you back! Let Him motive your hubby!
If you have confessed and are living as brother and sister you can recieve Communion…it is only when you are not living as brother and sister that you must abstain from Communion.
It’s pretty simple. You just have to convince him to marry you in the Church. It could be a very simple ceremony. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate wedding with all your family and friends attending…
Rjight. We were just the two of us, my sponsor for RCIA, and another priest who was our “best man” – took about 20 minutes, start to finish.
The point for my husband was that since he married me once, it wouldn’t be such a big deal to affirm what he still affirmed in his heart.
Yes there are options in which he may not need to participate. Speak with your Pastor.
that is interesting…what could you do outside of a convalidation…especially if you wished to remain married?
Check this thread for info on Radical Sanation.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=115868&highlight=radical+sanation
I have spoken to him - he says there are no other options. That is why I am asking the question in the forum…Any info you can add for me Br. Rich?
Anne
That is a convalidation, however there is a form of convalidation known as a “Radical Sanation” in which there is not a ceremony. Your husband would have minimal participation. My advise is to call the **diocese office **which handles marriages. It seems Parish Priest do not push for Radical Sanates. Stay after this it is time well invested.
Thank you for the links, I will check them out. Would still be interested in details from Bro. Rich.
I really appreciate all the (name removed by moderator)ut.
Anne
If I am correct that is what he is suggesting (if you read the link provided)…(Radical Sanation)
Radical Sanation is an option in canon law if the situation qualifies.