Choosing a Confirmation name - can a woman choose a male Saint?


First post here, often a lurker but never registered until today.

I am a Christian mum married 16 years to a Catholic (gorgeous) man and we have one daughter who is Catholic from birth just like hubbie.

While preparing for her First Holy Communion this year my daughter asked me why I was not Catholic and I (for once) did not have any answer. If I had been asked to convert at the time we got married then I probably would have, but for all the wrong reasons.

As both my hubbie and I have gone to all the Communion parents meetings and worked through the ‘I Believe’ book with her I realised that I was technically ‘Catholic’ - that is I believe in everything that hubbie and daughter do, I go to Church with them (only receiving a Blessing), I pray, I worship and I belong. I help out at school fetes, make cakes for Church, my husband has asked to be a Minister (which for me is hysterically funny as he is 6ft 4 and looks like Meatloaf/The Undertaker with long hair and will be standing towering over poeple at the front of Church… sorry I digress).

So at the end of one of the parents meeting I asked my Priest where I signed up and have not looked back. Hubbie and I see Father Peter every few weeks, do our Bible reading and homework and now I have been told I will be Confirmed in November and I am overjoyed… in fact tearful as I write this down.

So now for the question… what name do I choose for myself at Confirmation? Am I able as a woman to take a male Saints name?

I do have my reasons, I am not a conventional mum, I am in my faith but much of my life is not stereotypical and being 40 last year means I approach my Confirmation with older eyes.

I want to choose St Martin, the Roman soldier who seeing a beggar cut his cloak in two. I choose that for symbolism and for the name itself which is my maiden name.

I consider myself a fighter, as my alias suggests my daughter was premature and WE had to FIGHT as a family to keep her. My personality makes me a fighter, having struggled many times to find my inner strength. I am also a do-er, that is I help, I share, I think of others as he did.

And its my maiden name… but whats in a name???

When my daughter was very ill I joined a preemie-l email group and one woman sent me a poem by Erma Bombeck called The Special Mother. It tells how God chooses what child for what woman and which Saint to chooses to watch over them. For a premature babies mum the Angel asks God which Saint and He replies “A mirror will suffice”. This has always stuck in my mind and now at my Confirmation I am thinking that if I look into a mirror I see myself, a Martin by birth looking back at me and how apt it would be for St Martin to be my chosen Saint.

Is this allowed? This feels so right for me but will this be acceptable to the Church?

Thank you for reading.

Yes, you can certainly choose a male Saint’s name for your Confirmation name. :slight_smile:

Welcome home!! :extrahappy:

Some people who take the name of a saint of the gender opposite their own use either a masculine or feminine (as the case may be) form of that name. In your case that would probably be “Martina”.

But plenty of people just take the name of the saint as it is.

There’s absolutely no problem with your taking the name of a male saint. It’s wonderful that you have already found a saint you can identify with. Go for it! And start now praying for his intercession; he will be your special ally in heaven.

I sponsored a woman several years ago who loved St. Francis of Assisi, so she took his name (without changing the spelling to a feminine form).

Not trying to derail, so if this is, you can ignore.

Is there a male version of Faustina?

One of my sisters has the name Francis, after the Man of Assisi. I know another dear lady who converted from evangelical with a heavy Irish background, and her Confirmation name is Patrick.

And as it happens, Martin of Tours is one of my son’s saints.

So welcome home, dear Martin!:slight_smile:

“Faustus.” :slight_smile:

Not that I know of, but if you are looking for a male proponent of the Divine Mercy devotion, how about Venerable Michael Sopocko, who is scheduled to be beatified this September? He was Sister Faustina’s spiritual director. St. Faustinian St. Faustinus (one of several by the name) St. Fausta (one of several by the name)

As long as it is a saint’s name, and hopefully you feel a connection to that saint, you can use any name- including your own first name.

My daughter chose one of my heroes, St Francis of Assisi, our Pastor I guess didn’t catch it, but the next year I think he imposed some kind of rule against the females taking male Saint names. I would certainly take the male Saint’s name if that’s what you want. Of course, many good female and male Saints out there…

If I had known you could pick a male’s saint name, I would have chosen Francis after St. Francis of Assisi. (If the Lord is calling me to marriage and children, and if I have a son, that will be his middle name) One of my favorite saints of all time. But I didn’t know that at the time, so I chose Dymphna after my favorite female saint. But I learned about a week after I was confirmed that indeed, you may choose a name from the opposite sex.

Also, WELCOME HOME! Dances

I’ve also heard “Faustino” for a male

*I have been a religious ed teacher since 1972 and the conformation teacher for the past 15 years. One may choose the name of ANY saint, male or female, a virtue, or a gift or fruit of the Holy Spirit. You don’t have to take a new name, you can use your baptisimal name. Over the years I have had may students that have taken a name of the opposite sex; and some have taken two names. *
Martin, would be a very appropriate and fine name.
God Bless you,

I chose Paul after the Apostle (and not to change it to Paula), so I don’t see why another mom couldn’t choose Martin (with or without an added -a).

Hi preemie-mum! I’m a girl and my patron is Saint Lawrence. Gender doesn’t really matter, what matters is how you feel about the Saint…if you feel connected, sometimes the saint may even choose you.

Thank you everyone for replying to my thread.

I printed off some info about St Martin and the poem The Special Mother by Erma Bombeck and took it to our Priest today and he approved. At our daughters 2nd baptism (completion of ceremonies) when she was 15 months old I stood up and read it to everyone and our Priest fully understood my reasoning and the smile on his face today meant so much to me.

So St Martin it is and my Confirmation is in December and my husband is my sponsor.

Coming soon is my first confession… think thats going to be a LONG session (LOL)!!! Better take a thermos of tea and a sleeping bag.

Much love to you all… and here is the poem.

The Special Mother

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year thousands of mothers will give birth to a premature baby. Did you ever wonder how mothers of preemies are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

“Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron saint, Matthew.
“Forest, Majorie, daughter. Patron saint, Ceceila.
“Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron saint… give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a premature baby.”
The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”

“Exactly, “ smiles God. “Could I give a premature baby a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”

“But does she have patience?” asks the angel.
“I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she’ll handle it.

“I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence that are so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.”

“But, Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”
God smiles, “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”

The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”
God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child who comes in a less than perfect way. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied.

“She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says ‘Mommy’ for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

“I will permit her to see clearly the things I see - ignorance, cruelty, prejudice - and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”

“And what about her patron saint?” asks the angel, the pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”

You know the late, great Erma was Catholic…

Does this mean males can choose woman’s names also?

Of course it does.

Although in my experience I haven’t seen it happen very often. A male taking a female saint’s name for confirmation seems to be one of those things that is very common in some cultures but is almost unheard of in others.