Ok, so you may have seen my last thread on how I want to stop masturbating. I’ve decided to do as several of my replies said: go to confession. I have a problem though. How do I confess masturbation to a priest without feeling awkward? I know masturbation in itself is unnatural, but you don’t usually talk about it. I know if I withhold it during confession it’ll just make things worse. My plan is not to make things worse. I just can’t get myself to say it. Do I have to say exactly what it is, or is there something I can say to the priest that doesn’t involve saying masturbation? I want to end this sin and confess it before I marry my girlfriend. I don’t want this with me when I’m standing in front of the altar with her, and I don’t want this to affect my marriage to her.
Just say it. Any priest has heard that sin confessed thousands of times.
just say it! If it makes you feel better… I’ve had to confess it! Didn’t kill me!
God bless you, and your future marriage.
Yes. And just saying it gets it over with more quickly than trying to fumble around with euphemisms. The priest will be more apt to ask for clarification if he doesn’t understand the euphemism. I’m sure that a person could confess ‘masturbation five times a day for the past ten years,’ and the priest would not even raise an eyebrow.
The point here is that it IS awkward. You’ve offended God horribly and now you have to deal with the consequences.
Part of confession’s efficacy is that it is awkward, and after having confessed the sin once you are likely to try even harder to avoid it, since you don’t want to confess it again.
I have masturbated X times. If you used pornography then I have masturbated to pornography X times. If it’s more than a few, you can say several. If it’s more than several than I guess a lot.
If it’s something that you tend to do often, then tell the priest that it’s something that you struggle with and maybe what you’re trying to do to stop.
That may help give the priest an idea of what they can tell you to help. Some will just probably tell you the same thing that they would have said anyway, otherwise may give you advise more based on your situation.
You seem comfortable enough typing it into a public Internet forum so I don’t see why repeating what you just said, privately to a man in the person of Christ, should be any harder.
Yeah, I’ll agree with other people and tell you to just say it; the priest has heard it plenty of times before.
That being said. When I am confessing, if my particular confession includes, say, both pornography and masturbation, then I will simply say that I have committed X sins against Chastity (since they are generally part of the same act, and therefore a single “set” of sins against chastity). You could say it that way. Occasionally, since I have a regular confessor, and he is well aware of my particular struggles, I will simply say that I gave in to temptation X times… not sure if that one is alright or not… He’s never said anything, so I’d assume it is, but I am not entirely sure.
Typing it on a public internet forum is far less personal than in the confessional with a priest, regardless of whether you are behind a screen or face to face.
Just remember Cali, the priest has heard everything you’re going to confess to him before. He was trained in how to react, and trained in how to guide you away from the sin. Do not be ashamed, but rather rejoice that God lovers you enough to send someone to help you.
There is probably no sin more boring and generic than masturbation. The priest doesn’t care.
I’m going to be the exception here. You are going to confession. There is no sense going and deliberately not telling certain sins because you are uncomfortable.
Just say, " I was impure with myself X times" and leave it at that. The priest will know exactly what you mean and you will have confessed it. Hopefully, that’s not too awkward.
The point is nothing should ever keep you from this amazing Sacrament. If you feel awkward and thus reluctant to go, then say whatever makes it less awkward while still acknowledging the sin(s).
I used to be surprised that people would write something on the internet that they wouldn’t say to a priest in confession…now, not so much.
I recommend you to be clear and precise. I have read people on this board, concerned that the priest haven’t understood their sin. So, although awkward in the first confession, say explicitly: when you last confessed, you masturbated X times, if many you can say several times since Y, and so on.
You will avoid ambiguity this way. But hey, after the moment of tension comes my favouritte part, where you listen to always wise and refreshing words of the priest.
People do many things on the internet that they wouldn’t do in person. The internet is very impersonal. No one here knows who each other are. If someone were posting something on the internet that they know that people they know would be reading, it’s a different story. However, on a forum like this it’s different.
Priests are still people. It’s one of those things where someone feels embarrassed to tell someone else the things that they do for fear of what that person may think of them.
I’ve found it easiest to just say it outright. Trying to make it less awkward just makes it more difficult to admit. And remember, most people have succumbed to this sin at one time or another. The priest has heard it a million times. And don’t forget, he’s there to help!
Yes, I agree.
Confessing our sins in person keeps us accountable. We have to face our sins eventually - the bible and the Church are clear on this - and God has given us this very special opportunity to do that in such a tangible way. Our confession is tangible, but so is the forgiveness. The forgiveness from God, expressed through the priest, is very clear and real, and it is for this reason that your confession should also be clear. The more clear your confession, the more clear you will feel the absolution of the sin.
Don’t risk walking out of the confessional wondering if you were clear enough. Don’t risk doubting your absolution. Name your sin clearly and feel the absolution clearly.
If it’s awkward to say directly, that’s OK – there are several euphemisms that every priest will understand, such as “I regularly committed self-abuse, x number of times per week…”
Or, “I was impure by myself, on a regular basis x number of times per week, and I really want to stop this.”
I 100% agree. I have never had a priest misunderstand me when I said it like that.
Thank you to all of you who replied. I have set up a confession appt. for tomorrow and I’m prepared to confess ALL of my sins. Once again thank you and god bless.
To confess in a manner that is worthy, we must humble ourselves sometimes. Embarrassment might just help you overcome your struggles. Before you confess your sins to another person make sure that it’s is your brother in JESUS CHRIST and not an indwelling deceiving spirit that you confess to.
The bible tells us in the book of John to test the spirits and to discern false prophets that lead astray the blind.
many struggle with your issue and have a difficult time to overcome it. JESUS the son of GOD is the way, the truth and the light so pray in his name and seek refuge in his strength.
Praise be to GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Cargau is exactly correct.
This is how you say it, “I have been impure with myself.” For pornography you add “and I have looked at pictures on the internet” to the above.
Yes, the priest will know exactly what you mean.