My own dh just got back from a business trip and instead of the happy reunion I would have liked - we had a HUGE meltdown ending with me asking when the heck his next trip was and him going on a long drive…
My dh wanted to come home, sit down, maybe have a nap, listen to the kids tell him about their homework - basicly he was dreaming!
Reality? I’ve been stuck home with 7 kids, 2 of which had some freaky, hivey rash thing the dr. just scratched her head over. A baby that decided to start walking while dad was gone and bashed his wee little head on his big brothers tonka truck and needed stitches, which meant a trip to the same head scratching dr with all the kids in tow again. In my spare time I’m cleaning every square inch of the house and redoing all 8 beds to try to wash out whatever it is that is causing the rash issue, explaining algebra, have discovered ticks in the yard, so I mow it and spray it and bury another son’s rescued rabbit in it. And that was what I did within 3 days of his leaving - the rest of the week did NOT go get better!
I’m not thinking dh is home to relax - I’m thinking dh is the calvary come to rescue me! Dh has been able to do some fun things after work during his trip - see a U2 concert, see Star Wars 3, eat at $40+ dinners, sleep all night, take a hot shower from beginning to end, and pee whenever he wants instead of having to wait until 1 of any 5 other little people use it, clog it with tiolet paper, and I unclog it only to turn and see the newest one being potty trained doing a version of my own pee-pee dance and knowing chances are bad that he can hold while I go, so of course I let him go and wait to repeat the procedure again before I can finally go.
Dh gets into the van at the airport and says “I’m going to sleep on the ride home. I’m beat!” and then, I kid you not he actually said, “What you gonna make me for dinner tonight?” Oh man! It’s a good thing I was driving or I’d a lost it!
Yes, we could use some alone time, but it isn’t going to happen. Period.
I need to make an effort to get him involved even when he isn’t here. Otherwise, we’re not working together and the feeling of going solo makes us both feel lonely and that makes us feel very grouchy.
I’ll talk to him over the week, when things have settled down some and we’ll work it out, just like we have the past 12 years.
I agree the only person you can change is you though, so you have an obligation to love your husband. Before you speak to him, you should look very closely at why you are reacting this way and pray for the Lord to give you understanding of your dh, so that you can reconnect. I have a theory that he may be seen as an “interruption” in the family???
I offer you much compassion, I know that you must be feeling very alone and cut off from him?