Recently I’ve been praying a lot. For many things. It feels like I’m being called on.
A bit of a background, I'm 17, for as long as I can remember I went to church every Sunday until about a couple months ago. I attended a Catholic school but I never took my religion class seriously, which I greatly regret now. Every year, I always had thoughts about becoming a Priest even though I didn't pay attention in religion class. I remember when I was 8 or 9 I would play with my sister, I pretended to be a Priest and would give my sister pieces of paper to eat as the host ( I can see how this can be funny but remember, i was young and didn't know what else to use as the host.) I would pray every night for everything I can think of and I didn't really feel close to god because I never asked myself how I felt about him, I just prayed, I couldn't fall asleep if I didn't pray. I felt that someone sick would die if I didn't pray for them, it was like second nature. As I grew older I've almost completely stopped praying., . Over the past few years I've started to feel like I'm slowly moving away from God :(. I stopped going to church about a month or two ago because of work and now I feel like I'm killing myself by doing so. I've been praying again and when I do I get an enormous sense of relief. Its an unexplainable feeling, it takes my headaches away, makes me feel safer than ever. Every time I think about my future I can't picture a more perfect way of life than to pray and spread the word. That's what I picture as the perfect life for me, I feel that way because of how I feel when I pray and I'm realizing that now more that ever.
Now the reason I'm here is because I have this feeling that its not really happening I feel like my head is telling me im wrong. I still cant picture a more perfect life than priesthood though. I feel like Its the only direction I can really see myself going. Sure, I've though about other paths but none are greater than god. There's a lot more that I'm Feeling I just don't know what to say.
If you have any opinions on what I should do please share them with me.
This is a tricky one because no one should be telling you what to do, it should come from within you. Whatever you choose to do, it should not be a trial field of some sort", whatever you choose to undertake, you must hold on to it no matter the challenges, because all callings have challenges. Whether as a priest or layman, prayer is crucial!!! Continue praying when the time is right, it will all come to you!!!
Proactive alternative would be to come up with certain criteria which will help you make a decision on the path you are being called to take. Prayer is also important during this process.
simple question for you do you have a spiritual director?
also if you feel like you are moving away from God, pray more, go to mass more (if you can) partake in the sacraments and also try and grow closer to our lady. IF you can do these you will grow closer to God.
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