Infant baptism

I have entered the church and my wife will not she doesn’t believe in infant baptism since she is baptist
Can I give my children that are less than 7 a baptism with out her knowing on my own she would loose her mind if she found out be the bible says baptism is needed


On your own? Do you mean that you take them to the bathtub and baptize them yourself? No, that isn’t possible (unless they were in danger of death).

However, taking them to your parish priest and asking for them to be baptized might be problematic, too, for the sake of the marriage. Would it be acceptable to your wife if you enroll them in CCD at the appropriate time, and that they be baptized prior to reception of First Communion?

Adamski, as said earlier, you can only baptize your children on your own in situations when: there are no available priests in your area or near it to administer that sacrament or your children is in danger of death (as mentioned earlier). Have you tried having some talks with your wife about the teachings of the Church especially about infant baptism? Or perhaps have a priest or any other Catholic ministers to educate her about the Catholic faith? It might help her see the light that infant baptism has been a practice ever since of first Christians (see Acts 16:33 “He (jailer) took them (Paul and Silas) in at hour of the night and bathed their wounds; then he and * all his family * were baptized at once.”- all his family, that include infants. In Jn 3:8, the Holy Spirit is being compared to the wind. It blows where it wills. Hence, it does not choose where it will go, whether it be infants or adults. ) or at least respect the fact that it is an essential element in the Catholic faith. But then again, if this is something that will cause you two misunderstandings that will lead to ending of your relationship, then just ask her if she’ll allow the kids to be baptized at certain age before the kids’ for communion as the first response suggested or at the age of reason). This is to avoid having any conflicts between you two as husband and wife. :slight_smile:

I don’t think that’s what he meant.

I too think it would be problematic in more ways than one. What would your wife say about raising your children Catholic? Also, if you baptized them behind her back, what happens when they come of age and she tries to push them to be baptized (again)? It’s not going to be pretty.

The only thing that I could see that would change her mind is if she were educated in the history of infant baptisms (the Catholic Church as a whole would be nice, but that’s a lot of history), but trying to force her to change her view would also put strain on the relationship. The best advice I could give is to seek guidance from your church’s pastor, resident priest, or your local bishop.

I bid you good luck, may God guide you in this struggle.

Please review this link which provides biblical proof of infant baptism.

As to your specific situation and the idea of baptizing your children secretly (without your wife knowing)… I’d suggest that before you go there, you continue to discuss the situation, perhaps with your priest present. I doubt that she would react in a positive way to your clandestine activities, even if your intentions are good.

There are also writings of the early Church Fathers that support these biblical supports.

St. Irenaeus 125-202 AD “…who through Him are reborn in God: infants, children, sanctifying those who are of that age…”

Hippolytus - 215 AD - “…Baptize first the children, and if they can speak for themselves let them do so. Otherwise, let their parents or other relatives speak for them.” The Apostolic Tradition 21:16[AD 215]

A person cannot find the true Church without looking to what the true Church did in Her infancy. Sacred Scripture, Sacred Tradition, and the Magisterium are what guides our Church; the three legged stool.

Couple of points:

  1. Can you? Yes you can. The normal way a Catholic is baptized is in a Church by a Priest or Deacon, but any member of the faithful with the right intention and using the right formula can baptize.

2a) Should you? If you have every intention of bringing them up Catholic regardless of what your wife says, yes you should. The Church only requires one parent to give consent for baptism.

2b) Should you? If it will drive a wedge between you and your wife that will destroy your marriage and prevent the children from being raised Catholic in a loving home, then no you should not.

You may pick either 2a or 2b.

The bible does say baptism is the ordinary means of salvation however the Church does provide that baptism of desire is one of the extraordinary means as well. What that means is that God forbid if your child were to die tomorrow unbaptized, your desire to have them baptized would be sufficient. Recall that we are bound by the sacraments, but not God.