Hi everyone. Is fully clothed cuddling with a member of the opposite sex a sin? 
If you have to ask. . .
Just kidding.
Seriously now, it can be. It depends on the persons. It depends on whether the cuddling becomes more than a simple gesture of platonic or âagapeâ type of love into something that arouses lustful desire.
I know people who can âcuddleâ for a couple of hours watching a movie and not have any thoughts of âlustâ or even the beginnings of arousalâothers (yes, even fully clothed) couldnât be 2 minutes âcuddlingâ without wanting to go âfurtherâ, without âthoughtsâ, stimulation, âobjectificationâ of the other person, etc.
Usually, men being men and women being women, and âbody contactâ (yes, even fully clothed) leading to thoughts of what âbody contactâ can lead to (sexual thoughts/actions), it is not a really good idea to âcuddleâ (even fully clothed) for very long, and certainly not without discussing with the other person just exactly what your relationship is now and what you see it being.
If this is a ânewâ boyfriend, say, and youâve been out having dinner together, talking together, having a good night kiss, and then youâre sitting in your dorm room or your living room in the evening and you âcuddleâ. . .well, most guys are going to get the idea that you want âbody contactâ and that body contact will gradually build up (for most) into a desire for âdeeperâ or more âarousingâ contact.
If this is a friend of long standing, with whom you have discussed your intentions (no sex before marriage, no being in âoccasions of sinâ, strong Catholic faith, etc.) and you are out on a cold winter night and you âcuddleâ together while standing quietly at your front door for 2-3 minutes before walking over to the coffee shop for a latte, thatâs another story. Youâre not in a position where it looks like you might want to go âdeeperâ, youâre not in an area where things could âheat upâ (like a living room, dorm or bedroom), and especially, you both know what to âexpectâ.
So now, you tell me. Is the cuddling youâre thinking of the kind that could lead to danger though the other party being âunknowingâ of your purity intentions, through âpropinquityâ to the bedroom or a âprivateâ area where things could get âfriskyâ, or done with the intent to âteaseâ or âgratifyâ desire just for the âfeelingâ and then for you to rear back, affronted, with âWhat kind of girl do you think I amâ when you have been pressed up against him (even fully clothed) for half an hour, letting him get rather, uh, heated. . .
or is it a few brief minutes of âhuggingâ for affectionâs sake (and affection without any thought of lust or objectification or âwhat ifâ), in an area of safety away from bedrooms or areas that could indicate you donât want to be âseenâ doing what youâre doing, done with both partiesâ full knowledge that neither wishes to be an occasion of sin and both fully intend to refrain from immoral actions?
This is from the mother of two 20-something daughters, one 20-something son, and who was once young herself back when I was the âDancing Queenâ, LOL***
Hell no. However it it leads to further things like petting and stripping which then usually leads to sex then you should avoid it. But if you are fine doing it and go no further and are in full self control it is not even nearly a venial sin. We are human beings and need affection. Physical contact/connection with that significant other is really important in a relationship. I say this out of experience.
Withholding from that can cause a lot of built up tension and anxiety in long term relationships. However should you do it on the first night? It depends on how comfortable you both are with each other.
I personally cuddle all the time and I really like it as a guy and find no reason how it could be nearly sinful unless it goes to far.
Iâve even slept with my girlfriend/ past girlfriends fully clothed and on a bed with no problem what so ever.
It all depends on your self- control. Iâm fortunate to have pretty strong self control when cuddling.
If either of you has realistic reason to expect it to be sexually stimulating or arousing to either of you it is a near occasion of sin (lust) I believe.
If not, then as long as you avoid scandalizing anyone I donât see why not.
I used to be young (no, really, it was in black and white then but I was), and didnât think cuddling could have anything to do with lust, but I was naive. Itâs astonishing how many divergent activities have the capacity to incite lust.
no. enjoy your youth. odds are overwhelmingly in your favor that cuddling will not derail your life, and that in the fullness of time you will develop into a God-fearing adult, happily married with enough common sense not too worry obsessively about ordinary human activity.
No, cuddling is not a sin, as long as you know that the both of you have full control over your body and minds. As long as there is nothing âimpureâ going on physically or emotionally then it is perfectly fine. I unfortunately have been in both situations and when I was dating 1 guy we could lay down and curl up on his couch and be fine for say 5-10 minutes and then forms of physical contact were made. Iâve dated other guys who I could sit on a couch with all night and possibly even fall asleep with and there would never be anything going through the mind or physical at all.
So It all depends on self control.
Iâm a new member to this forum, so, 'ello.:whacky:
Iâm a young man of 19 years, and what Iâm reading here irks me slightly.
Be very wary of cuddling. The Catholic motto surely isnât âAnything but sex.â Itâs purity, in its purest sense. The sex part is taken care of I see, none w/o marriage.
But cuddling can be very dangerous! How you see it is a matter of how far youâre accustomed to letting your mind go. Some may not consider certain thoughts lustful, but these thoughts can still degrade a relationship. I admit, Iâm not too experienced w/ this stuff. Itâs too crucial to leave it to trial and error, but donât, please donât let the Evil one fool you,:eek:
The devil tells his targets that harmful things arenât harmful, or arenât significant. Just be critical, ask the Spirit for guidance, look to Mother Mary for her purity.
And itâs not so much these little âshouldnât doâsâ (though I donât disregard their importance) as what you should do. Couples praying together is incredibly awesome and so important. Itâs not a magic potion for keeping relationships together, (I know,) but it brings spiritual growth for two people loving each other.
It fosters respect and beautiful love.:hug3:
In this pure, beautiful, Godly romance the focus is on the otherâs benefit in Christ, and when itâs mutual, it reflects back upon oneself. Whether marriage is the ultimate result or not, Spiritual Growth and Closeness To God is what is achieved.
-Michael
Hi Michael,
Welcome to the forms, although all advice Iâve read is right on, i must compliment you for such wisdom for your age. Not meant to be an insult, just very impressedâŚGood job!
Just a quick add on from some one a bit older. Cuddling between unmarried folks can indeed lead to the occasion of sin. But what a great blessing and moment of love it is between married couples and between parents and their children. I really miss those days when our kids were little and how we loved to cuddle and watch TV or read a story to themâŚ
with all due respect, you need to unwind.