I’d like to know is oral sex is a sin after marriage…I’m sure that it is before marriage…is it a sin for an older couple… (male 72, female 68… thanks…
Pope John Paul II said “there isn’t a place on the body that isn’t worth kissing”…
That said, oral sex is permitted in marriage so long as the culmination of sex involves a real penis entering a real vagina for climax.
God bless and I hope that helps,
Joshua
Nope, it’s not a sin.
The answer is never a simple yes or no…see the highlighted passages and do read the whole article that follows and especially the paragraphs on premature ejaculation and foreplay. (remember the three standards for an act to be mortally sinful)
*What does the Church Teach about Oral Sex?
Some surprising answers to a common question
by Mike Hayes
(Busted Halo: bustedhalo.com/features/what-does-the-church-teach-about-oral-sex)
One of the most common (and frequent) questions Busted Halo gets from people is, What exactly does the Catholic Church teach about oral sex? It is an understandable question that is not easily answered with a simple yes or no response. The fact is, the Church’s teachings can’t be compartmentalized into questions on only one form of sexual expression. In order to understand what the church says about oral sex, one must first be aware of the Church’s teachings on the nature and purpose of all sexual expression.
First and foremost, the Church reserves all sex for marriage. This is not simply a way to restrict our natural sexual impulses, but rather to use them for what they were properly intended, namely for procreation of children and to build unity between husband and wife. Even Pope Benedict has spoken openly of his concern that limiting the Church’s attention on sex to “just moral prohibitions” can lead people to “have the impression that the church’s real function is only to condemn and restrict life. Perhaps too much has been said and too often in this direction—without the necessary connection to truth and love.”
While you won’t read any definitive lines in the Catholic Catechism when it comes to oral sex, the church does draw some directives from its traditional teaching on sexuality to provide some guidance. Many people are surprised to hear that even within marriage, the church makes a distinction between oral “sex” and oral stimulation. If we define oral sex as orally stimulating the male partner to orgasm, then the church would prohibit that even for married couples.
Getting Specific
Two books that offer specific directions about the Catholic Church’s teaching on oral sex are Christopher West’s Good News about Sex and Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions about Catholic Teaching (Ann Arbor, MI: Servant Publications, 2000) and Vincent Genovesi’s In Pursuit of Love: Catholic Morality and Human Sexuality (Collegeville, MN: The Liturgical Press, 1996).
Christopher West is a popularizer of the “Theology of the Body” based on Pope John Paul II’s book Love and Responsibility. He has written several books and articles on the subject, and in Good News About Sex , which is a practical summary of this theology, West offers some instances** in which oral stimulation (stimulating genitals but not to the point of ejaculation) is perhaps acceptable within marriage:**
Foreplay: If it is used in the act of foreplay that leads to sexual intercourse where the male climaxes into the female, then oral stimulation is certainly permissible for a couple to engage in within marriage.
The Big O: If a man was able to orgasm during sexual intercourse but his wife did not, he may bring his wife to orgasm after intercourse in whatever way he chooses (manual or oral stimulation). West writes, “Since it’s the male orgasm that’s inherently linked with the possibility of new life, the husband must never intentionally ejaculate outside of his wife’s vagina. Since the female orgasm, however, isn’t necessarily linked to the possibility of conception, so long as it takes place within the overall context of an act of intercourse, it need not, morally speaking, be during actual penetration.”
No substitutions, please: Oral sex or stimulation can never be used as a replacement for sexual intercourse, but oral stimulation can be used to lead a couple to vaginal intercourse. Pope Benedict also points couples towards discovering love within sex instead of settling for substitutions for the real thing, stating: “No mechanical technique can substitute the act of love that two married people exchange as a sign of a greater mystery.”
Men: No sex 4u: The reverse, however, is prohibited. A man’s orgasm is always tied to his fertility so therefore the church states **that oral sex that would end with a male orgasm outside of sexual intercourse is not permissible**.
Intimacy Over Arousal: Not every single sexual act, per se, need be procreative, but within a “sexual session,” if you will, there needs to be openness to procreative activity. So there can certainly be oral stimulation throughout sexual activity within marriage, but if one is using oral sex simply to avoid pregnancy yet achieve orgasms, then one is limiting their sexual union to merely give arousal rather than intimacy.
Premature ejaculation?:** For something to be sinful there needs to be both intent and full knowledge of that intention to do evil**. If one were to get very turned on and orgasm prematurely, that indeed is not a sinful act. Accidents happen. **One needs to be mindful of their intention to sin.**
Source for this JPII quote?
While what you say is correct, in my studies of TOB, I’ve never seen him say this.
If I recall correctly it is mentioned in Love And Responsibility, but I could be wrong (it wouldn’t be the first time).
Let me do some digging and get back to you on it to either confirm it or toss it away.
God bless,
Joshua
If it is, then we’re all in deep trouble!!! 
This topic always gets nasty here and the thread might eventually be closed on deleted. But I’m in anyway.
Did JPII mention that oral sex is ok? Please quote.
If you are wrong…remember what the Bible says about leading little ones to sin.
While I could not find my source on the quote and could have easily confused it with one of the other quotes of theologians I was studying at the time, I stick by the basis of the quote. The Church does not condemn oral STIMULATION, but it does condemn oral SEX. Knowing the difference is the most important part.
I stick by what I said, but I do apologize if the quote I used was from another source (possible Fr. Larry Richards?). I was looking into theology of the body quite a bit this past year and I do confuse my sources from time to time.
God bless,
Joshua
I remember reading it in Christopher West’s book, “The Good News About Sex and Marriage,” and he cites it as being from Pope JPII. I don’t remember if it was from TOB or “Love and Responsibility,” though. I loaned my copy of the book out to a friend, so I can’t look it up myself to see where the JPII quote is from. Maybe someone else on here knows exactly where it’s from.
I believe Christopher West has said something similar. I agree with the premise as well. We just have to careful about attributing quotes so rashly.
In your first post, you said oral sex is permitted within marriage… Now you are saying the Church condemns oral SEX.
Give him a break, he was clarifying. I knew what he meant as he actually explained what he meant in the same sentence.
Sorry. Stimulation was what I meant and I am sorry if I confused anybody with what was typed. I had hoped it was articulated well enough that it would be generally understood.
Oral stimulation intended as foreplay is permissible. Attempting to reach climax in a way that is intended to defeat or evade the fecundity of the marital act is not permissible. A couple may also engage in acts by which the woman reaches climax before or after her husband does. Age isn’t a mitigating factor.
You probably knew but not everybody
Read the original quote. He says what he means IN the sentence. It was clear.
Well, read his post #15 again.