Is this a sin (worried)

I’m about to leave for three months to go abroad, and I’ve been making my way to see everyone I care about before I go since it’s the longest I’ve ever been away from home. I’m also discerning religious life, but I’d really like to see my ex-boyfriend before I go. I do still love him and I’m working with a spiritual director to help me with my vocational journey. I was wondering if it would be a sin if I spent some time with him. If it is please tell me, I struggling with scrupulosity at the moment and can never tell what’s a sin and not a sin.

This question would be best directed to a priest or, as you note, a spiritual director. I don’t think anyone here can answer that for you.

Merely spending time with him would not be per se sinful. Whether it could complicate your particular situation, again, speak with a priest or spiritual director.


Sounds like you want to cover all the bases before leaving. I don’t see any issue with it, as long as you keep your heart out of it. Asking his prayers for safety wouldn’t be a bad thing.

This is probably not the place to get into why you left a man you love for the Religious Life. I wouldn’t think God would do that to you. How does your ex feel towards you? (Again, not my business).

Feel free to contact me off-loop.


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Not sure how to contact you off the loop because I am silly but I think it would be helpful. Everyone who knows me is already certain of me having a vocation to religious life, so talking to them usually means they all tell me that I will move on eventually and to be a nun. Keeping my heart out of it will be difficult but I think I can do it. Besides this very well could be the last time I can see him since he may be moving out of state and might be gone by the time I’m back in America.

Just tap my moniker and it’ll give you a button for messaging.

My advice, as a mere layman, would be to get firm control of your scrupulosity before making any large, life-changing decisions. You will not be at peace until and unless you do. If married, you might well long for the religious life (all marrieds do at times!). If religious you might pine away for marriage and family. Neither situation leads to the peace which Christ strongly desires you to possess. You must be settled and know that choice involves consequences and the giving up of something to receive something greater. Once you put hand to plow, it is never good to look back. Luke 9:57-62

Prayers ascending.

True self-knowledge can be a long time coming, a fruit of spiritual maturity often gained only after many falls and many undeserved mercies and patience from God. But God is merciful, and patient, especially when we are truly seeking His will. All who seek, will find. I say all this concerning vocation. Religious life and marriage are each definite callings of God.
I would say it would be good to see him, and it will be good to be far apart for a while, to listen to God.

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