Is this despair?

I have given up on sin. I will do it tomorrow. The day after. Ideally, after one correction, I should have learned my lesson. The real world does not work that way. I forget sometimes. Life is full of change. I do not like change. Sometimes I purposefully sin because I know I will do it somehow by accident or not. Why does God want us to suffer? Are emotions sins? I know you should love your family. Some days I do not want to talk to my family. I want my space or get I annoyed. Once you have break a transgression, you have broken the whole law. Apart from “sins”, we have character imperfections that are neutral. I have a strong need to express myself, so I talk a lot. I can be more emotional than most. I talk about the same things all the time, which is usually myself and my problems. Why does God create imperfect beings, than GET ANGRY IF THEY ARE NOT PERFECT? I AM OBVIOUS SINNER, so everyone in my family is quick to correct me. “Watch your language” “You need to change that attitude.” “You are lazy.” My older sister can be so mean, but she simply accepts that she can be mean sometimes. Why am I stressing myself out over a minor “sinful” thought if some people out there could care less how they treat others?I FEEL LIKE I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. I hate that God and society hold Christians to the highest freakin standard. Sorry. I HAVE BAD DAYS TOO. I am human after all. Why do I always have to be perfect all the time? I understand NO EXCUSE FOR SIN EVER.

God never gives up on us sinful lot that we are. Welcome to the world of sinners. We fall in sin, we repent, we do it again etc. I remember one Easter my priest said how did those Lenten “giving things up” promises go? Not so good? Join the club with me in it. He said people confessed to giving up certain sins only to find that they fell into them again even sooner than they had hoped. He told them just do the best you can. That is all God asks of us and to repent and use confession when needed.

God did not create us just to be sad we are sinners. He created to know, love and serve him in this world. Concentrate your efforts maybe on serving God as well as you can in some capacity you feel suited for.

Maybe you have some scrupulosity issues as well? Talk to a priest or seek spiritual counseling if available for help with those issues.

You also noted that you do not like change but remember there is a time for every purpose unto heaven. Changes will happen and seek support for those that are difficult for you .

May God bless you for your hope to be a Good Christian…With God all things are possible and Christ died on the cross for our sins for he knew we could not keep the law perfectly so he did it for us.

God bless,

This is a good example of where strict moralism without proper catechesis produces ineffectual results. You know you need to act a certain way because the Church tells you to, but you don’t truly understand why you’re expected to live that way, so you continually sin without hope for transformation or understanding. That is despair, in my book.

You desire the permanency from life that God has purposefully denied it. It is for a reason. “Sit lightly in life, and all of its phases.” Because all material things come to an end. Nothing you crave, besides God, will satisfy your desire for permanence. That’s the point. You desire eternal life. There’s a way to get that, and you crave it for a reason.

I highly suggest reading a bit about why suffering exists in this world. God didn’t create evil to torment us. He permits it to exist to bring about greater, more transformative change. If you never had to go through hard times, how would you ever be tempered in the crucible of experience? How would your faith be tested, and by extension, strengthened and transformed into a deeper, more trusting relationship with God?

God didn’t create us as sinners. We became sinners by our own accord. In the same vein, we are all tempted by evil and its minions. You lose the battle when you give up and say that the ground you’ve lost is too insurmountable to do anything about. Christ needs warriors on the field who, despite being knocked down, reveal who they are and reveal their love for the Good in their ability to continually get back up, knowing that no matter what, God loves them unconditionally. That’s the important part. God loves, despite the sin. I think that crucial fact is the variable you’re missing out on right now.

We all need spiritual encouragement. Here are some gentle books that are very good (from what I have read of them): (‘Jesus All Good’ by Fr. Alexander Gallerani, S.J.) (‘How to Pray at All Times’ by St. Alphonsus Liguori… includes advice for how to pray to God after a fault) (‘Spiritual Despondency and Temptations’ by Rev. P. J. Michel, S.J.)

St. Francis de Sales is also a very gentle saint. He is very realistic towards our imperfections, and he provides a great deal of encouragement to souls of good-will. Blosius is also excellent. Unfortunately his books are hard to come by. Still, you might appreciate some of his writings in his Spiritual Works:

A very holy and learned priest once recommended this book to me, at a time when I was too focussed on sin:

Take care and God bless.

Look not on our Sins , but on the Faith our our Church,

That’s such a great Quote ,it’s a Perfect Quote !
There really should be no need to despair,