I’ll try to be as delicate as possible but may use terms some find offensive so please note this before reading further:
Yes Church say masturbation is a grave sin. It define masturbation as the manipulation of the genitals for sexual pleasure.
Now here is what has happened to me twice now. With no external stimulation I retire to bed. I will then become aroused through no conscious acts. Almost as if my body is saying “it’s time”. Thoughts will naturally wonder in a direction of sex. I can usually keep the graphic details from manifesting. But my arousal will increase. I used to really struggle with this and generally it would go away without any grand praying or worrying. But quite often a very restless night.
Recently I stopped fighting it. As I said twice now as I lay perfectly still in bed; the the arousal will totally climax into a full blown orgasm. No rubbing, no touching. In fact knowing how I am I will make sure my penis is not touching a sheet or anything to stimulate it. I don’t move my body at all. Just giving myself the freedom to feel this seems to be all it takes.
Yes the thoughts of of a woman (none in particular) are present but more as an embrace not a masturbatory fantasy…Same thoughts I’ve had without sexual arousal…
Wet dreams are perfectly fine and these just feel like semi controlled ones. Those are ghenerally associatted with some quite vivid imagry! I’ll have a wet dream once or twice a month…but this time … Yes I’m wide awake. Yes it feels real good! One benefit seems to be a complete release. I have had dreams where I was approaching climax and feeling guilty stopped it with physical pain.
I think the pleasure is throwing me. In reality it’s just an incredible release! I’ve not tried to conjour this up but feel that may be tempting worse habits. But my goodness what doesn’t tempt us as humans! If I’ve resolved to not to initiate this, not to stimulate physically…
Since I returned the Catholic Church and learned of the sin of masturbation I have only twice done so and those in quick more of a release to get to sleep. No grand productions as in years past. The guilt was horrible and I ran to confession! I don’t like the way I feel after that and have no desire for any guilt!
I don’t feel the guilt like that now. This happened last night.
Is this common? What do you think?