Do intense emotional and sexual feelings indicate that one is called to marriage? I’m thinking of the Apostle Paul’s advice:
But if they have not the gift of continence, let them marry; better to marry than to feel the heat of passion (1 Corinthians 7:9)
The problem comes when I think that I might be just tempted to act under the influence of near-irresistible sexual frustration. The temptation is really starting to tear me down. I don’t really want to go out and have casual sex, but I think I might desire an intense mental, emotional, and physical relationship with another person. Meanwhile, I have just began to really resist temptations against Chasity (I am embarrassed to admit that I have been addicted to pornography most of my life: this is the first time in my life I have gone 8 weeks clean, although I have been trying for longer), and I’m just starting to learn that masturbation has been suppressing my emotions, and thus hiding what I think is a mood disorder.
However, at the same time, I don’t want to resist what might be the call to the Sacred Priesthood just because I have little self-discipline. I also don’t want to be a priest if I really do have a mood disorder. But, if I do have a mood disorder, I’m afraid I might be a terrible husband and father (I’m very lazy and have no idea what I want to do as a career: I’m not sure if I could be a reliable provider).
To tell you my personal opinion: I think I prefer marriage to priesthood, although, I must emphasize, I’m feeling really emotionally/sexually intense right now, so my judgment is cloudy.
And, to say again, I have been feeling really emotionally and sexually intense this last few weeks, and I don’t know how long I can handle it. I’m 20 years old, and most young people don’t get married until their late 20s at least. If I am called to marriage, I would want to marry young, but, again, I don’t think I’m mature enough to provide for another.
I want to go talk to a priest, but that might take a little while, and the internet is the fastest way I can think of to get help thinking about this before I explode :banghead: So, since my mind and heart are dizzy and confused, can some of you humbly help me discern in the meantime? Or at least give me some advice on how to “finish the race” and continue resisting lust? I’m having a real hard time trusting in God right now.
Also, can I ask for some advice on dealing with envy? All my friends are in relationships (and are having sex). Sometimes, my emotions get carried away and I get really distressed with the thought of some girl that might be my wife having sex with another man (these tortures are far worst when I think she has an emotional bond with the man), as well as the fact that I am not having sex, and especially since my heart is breaking over this lack of an romantic relationship with another.
Sorry in advance if my post is confusing. I’m not good at discussing my emotions publicly (I’m really embarrassed to write all of this).
*Note: I might just be an oversensitive, passionate, and hopeless romantic :crying: