My father died recently and we intended to have a memorial for him at the church were he was a parishoner for decades. When I called today I was advised that they don’t do such a thing and that the best they could do was mention his name for $10.00 at any of the 8:00am regular masses - but that they were sold out at this time. I’m a little confused as to how to proceed to get a proper mass or service arranged for my father and his relatives. If it makes a difference we are traveling back to Illinois with his ashes. Thank you!
I don’t know if it helps but since you have not yet inurned or burried his ashes, wouldn’t it be better to have a funeral Mass? Usually Memorial Masses take the place of funeral Masses when the body, even the cremated body, is not available. Other Masses, for the soul of the deceased, are as you described.
Such unfortunate terms. The $10 is not a fee or cost but a suggested donation and is both (1) optional and (2) according to your ability. The phrase “sold out” implies Simony. Also, if the Mass intention is indeed for his repose, the correct term is indeed “memorial” (or “requiem”). True, it would be one of the regular daily Masses (not specially scheduled).
Because of his connection to that parish community, you may request the Mass for your father’s intention at the next available date (the person in the parish office may have inferred you wanted it this week).
As Corki said, you may be able to hold a proper funeral once you return home, since your father’s ashes will be interred afterward. That does not prevent the Memorial, as far as I am aware (but any more knowledgeable CAFer is welcome to correct me 
)
I am aghast! I was away from the church for many years and returned only a couple of years ago. When I left, everything was in Latin. What is going on? I realize and accept the earth shaking changes that occured during my absence, but I have never heard of a parish, or priest refusing to say either a funeral or memorial Mass for a deceased Catholic…or, as I have read on other sites in this forum priests refusing to bless a rosary, or hear confessions on a regular basis.
What’s happened? Are there priests who consider themselves business professionals and acty accordingly??? If so, they should be reported to their pastor, or if necessary, their Bishop!!!
I am so sorry for the loss of your father. Please accept my condolences.
Perhaps the information found at the following link will be helpful to you. It is for a particular parish, but from a quick read, it appears to contain good information regarding Catholic funeral and memorial Masses.
Questions Regarding Funerals, Cremations and Memorial Masses
stjanefrancesdechantal.org/funeral.htm
Also, perhaps the following CAF thread will be helpful to you. The concerns expressed in it are not exactly the same as yours, i.e., we already know your father has been cremated so his body cannot be present and it would be a memorial Mass rather than a funeral Mass, but some of the posts in the thread still might prove helpful to you if you read it.
For a Catholic Funeral Mass, does the deceased’s body need to be present?
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=129742
I’ll keep looking for other threads on CAF that may be helpful to you.
These threads may also be helpful to you. There are many others that came up from the search, but I think these are probably plenty and will hopefully help.
Question about funeral Mass
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=59520
What should be done when there was no funeral Mass or memorial service?
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=321885
Can there be a funeral Mass without a body?
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=260850
Memorial Mass question
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=6369751
Memorial Service vs. Mass of Christian Burial
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=134930
Here is info about having a Mass said for the repose of the soul of your father. You can have Masses said for any person (living or dead) in any Catholic Church as the schedule permits (because each Mass is said for only one person), usually for a small stipend of $5 or $10 for each Mass.
Mass Intentions
ewtn.com/library/liturgy/zlitur70.htm