Here was my issue as a Mormon. Okay, first, I spent most of my 20’s as a Single person, so all this “family” togetherness was not anywhere near a reality for me. Not only did it make me feel like no matter what I did, I was not a “true” Mormon, I also feared for my own salvation and had no chance of going to the Celestial Kingdom unless I had a man who would condescend to marry me. ***Sidenote: *I found a very cute boy that loved me for who I was and not what underwear I wore less than two months after leaving the LDS church. At a bar.
Secondly, this is what my mental processes were:
Mormon Spirituality Checklist
- Meetings on Sundays - 3 hours
- -]Family/-] prayer
- -]Family/-] Singles Ward “Family” Home Evening
- Gospel study of Book of Mormon, D&C and Pearl of Great Price
- Writing personal -]and family/-] journals
- Writing to missionaries
- Genealogy
- Missionary work “Every Member a Missionary” = if you’re not Mormon and a Mormon is talking to you, they want you to be one]
- Food Storage
- Visiting Teaching
- Preparing for “Primary” (children) Sunday School Lesson
- Monthly trips to the temple
- Wear CTR ring
Two words missing from this list: Jesus and Christ. And it gave me that mental checklist mentality in regards to spirituality. I even had it when I joined the Catholic church, feeling guilty if I didn’t do my daily Rosary and mass and prayers and bible study and and and and … that I wasn’t being a “good” Catholic, and led to frequent bouts of scrupulosity that still rear their ugly head.
Then one day I heard a homily about mental prayer - simply spending time with God so that I could get to know God as He truly is. Now, I was already spending time as often as I could in front of the blessed sacrament, but learning a more Teresian method of meditation and mental prayer has totally changed my interior life.
Now I try not to get too detached to any particular devotion or apostolate. My vocation in life, above all else, is to get to know God so that I could love God as He deserves to be loved. I also pray constantly for the grace not only to love God, but to be able to accept God’s love. These concepts were completely foreign to me as a Mormon. I know that whether my prayers are a Monet (or at least a senior art project at the Art Institute), or they are a crayon drawing on butcher paper, what God will see is not the artistry of the prayer or the action, but the love behind it.
I pray daily that those deceived by the lies of the leaders of the Mormon church will be touched with God’s grace to get a glimpse of His true love for them, and for the grace to see God as He truly is, not the deceit that has been given to them through the LDS scriptures and the official doctrines of the church. I pray that the veil of lies will be lifted and the truth of God and His church will be revealed to their souls. Please, if you love your brothers as you love yourselves, offer up your rosary today with the intention of the conversion of souls, especially those who have been lied to by the LDS church. St. Louis de Montfort says that when we pray in common it is like an army that is attacking, so let us unite ourselves together and with Christ who is within us all to pray for the salvation for these souls who so desperately need salvation and grace. :signofcross:
St. Teresa Benedicta and Father Augustin-Marie of the Blessed Sacrament [converts to Catholicism and Carmelites], pray for us.