No kissing before marriage?

In the world be live in, sexual abstinence isn’t just religious dogma but good sense. It is not something that I’d dispute nor want to. But not all physical contact between persons is necessarily sinful. Take kissing, for example. If one allows the passions to take control, kissing can go too far. But it can be a greeting between neighbors and friends (of the same or opposite sex) or an expression of love between a dating couple.
If kissing is seen by some as an inherently sexual act that must be saved for marriage, perhaps that is a reaction to our oversexualized culture.
A 25-year-old couple can still have “puppy love”, kissing and showing affection for each other without it leading to pre-marital sex. It’s hard for me to see that as unnatural or wrong.

Kissing is not wrong and touching is not wrong. Just make sure you draw your boundries and STICK to them at all times.

Chasity and Virignity are two total different things.

What do you mean by this?

not kissing because you don’t want to have it lead to sex is like not eating food because you’re afraid of becoming overweight.
maybe some people think that, but most wouldn’t agree that there is any validity to abstaining from kissing.
but if someone chooses to, more power to 'em. wouldn’t have been my choice before i got married

Well just because someone is a virgin does not mean that they live a chaste life. If you use your body in wrong ways or ways that tempt others or themselves sexually or mental then that’s walk a grey line because Technically you’re a virgin but your not really showing that by your actions. BUT there are some people who have had sex, seen that that is wrong and changed their lives and end up committing to living a chaste life. Yes they are no longer a virgin but they are living the life of chastity.

****Chastity (
1 : the quality or state of being chaste : as a : abstention from unlawful sexual intercourse b : abstention from all sexual intercourse c :
**purity in conduct and intention **d : restraint and simplicity in design or expression
2 : personal integrity ****

While pre-martial kissing is not in itself wrong, no one should tell you that you are crazy for waiting untill marriage to do it either. Fewer presents opened before marriage means a wedding night with many presents to open.

Now days we have to be more careful than people did in the days when no man escorted a young woman to any function without a chaperon. We can come and go as we please with no one to say we can’t be alone, for as long as we like, with someone of the opposite sex whom we are dating.

So, the best thing to do is to not put ourselves into situations in which temptation can take over. Now I know people are supposed to be able to control themselves, and of course we should, but sexual attraction is one of the strongest forces in human life. It is only wise to stay away from any “near occasion of sin,” as the old expression goes.

A kiss good night at the door is fine, but if you are strongly tempted to go through the door and complete what that kiss can lead too, then put off kissing until marriage. It can’t do any harm and it will help with the couple trust each other after they are married.

That’s a pretty tough request, and my guess is that the percentage of folks who didn’t kiss passionately during courtship before marriage is less than one tenth of one percent.

Of course, just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t make it right. I’d be curious to find out if anyone on these boards held off kissing until after marriage.

Since this is a site whose membership is largely made up of converts, I don’t think we could expect to find too many who didn’t passionately kiss or more before marriage.

Living the Catholic understanding of courtship has been foreign to most of us. And even on a site made up mostly of cradle Catholics, because of the damage the “sexual revolution” has done to our people, we might be hard pressed to find any who abstained from passionate kissing, if not more there too.

It is only now, after the major wave of the sexual revolution has passed over us and we are beginning to see the ravages of it, that people are beginning to rethink everything our culture has told us for at least two generations–that we should hang the consequences and just do what feels right to us. Unfortunately, we haven’t seen the exhaustion of this notion yet, and probably won’t for another generation or two. But, there is hope for our young people if we tell them the truth–that sex is nothing to play around with and chastity isn’t a dirty word.

To be honest, the last time I kissed the girl without it leading to sex in some form was the fifth grade.

What I am taught is that you probably should not kiss at all, or cuddle or stuff like that. Why? Well, if you are doind that close contact, there is always an urge to do more. They say, we controll it, and they probably do. But what if that one night, they start to kiss, then it gets more than that really quick and they make mistakes quicker than they could think. If you do kiss and controll it, there is always that temptation there, which we should not put ourselfs in. Just like cohabitation, they say they are not in the same rooms or not sleeping together, but that temptation is always there, and chances are, you will be put in a really tough situation that none of you wanted to be in. So, thats what I have been taught.

My boyfriend and I are really drawing lines to how far we go (especially in our kissing). We find that when we do get a little carried away by kissing passionately it could possibly lead us to doing something we would feel guilty about later.

So, for the sake of our relationship (because we care about each other very deeply), we are cutting things out (like the long passionate kisses) and sticking to nice warm hugs and sweet little kisses, instead.

And since we are both Catholic we pray on the rosary together once a week for guidance to strengthen our relationship and be rid of the temptations.

Our prayers are being answered. We’re both finally seeing what does lead to certain acts and we’re drawing those lines that would possibly lead us to those.

However, keep us in your prayers because I know it’ll still be quite a struggle. But we are both dedicated enough in our relationship to work things out and change things for the sake of our relationship.

Gosh, I’d hate to hear what happened in the sixth grade!

If that’s the case, unless you are married, no kissing for you!

What kind of sex did you have in the fifth grade? :eek:

I didn’t get my first kissing until I was sixteen.

If we don’t kiss before marriage, how many of us will get married so we can kiss?

There should be strict limits, but kissing is to early in the process of getting to know a future spouse. The length and intensity of the kiss is where the problems occur.

Well said. :thumbsup:

That’s very good, the couple that prays together will stay together.


Sounds to me like you have your head on straight, now. Keep up the good work. :thumbsup:

God bless

Not really. Though I know what not to do, I don’t know what we can do. Know what I mean?

this sounds a lot like what my mom always taught us… she would get up in the middle of a PG movie at home and talk about how wrong it was that the boy and girl kissed… that act, she said, was to remain for after engagement if not for sure until marraige

Laura :wink: