I’m not ready to talk to my family (parents, siblings etc) about this yet–
so that’s why I’m here:
my husband and I are thinking/praying about adoption–we have not been able to get pregnant in 7 years of marriage (have had the medical testing, not doing IVF yadda yadda)…
where does one begin the process of adoption…the yellow pages? I’ve googled it but don’t know what is a legit operation and what is not.
I guess what I am asking is if anyone has solid advice. Agencies? Advertisements? Work with a local Catholic Charities? Go out of the country…and if so, where?
The first step is learning about the strengths and weaknesses of domestic and international adoption, infant, toddler, and child adoptions, and special needs adoptions. After that, you and your husband pray and discern which strengths and weaknesses fit your family. There are a lot of books and websites to help you learn the joys and sorrows of each route.
Then you can start looking in that direction and figuring out agencies and programs that match your needs. Keep your focus on the Lord’s will for your family and allow Him to dictate the place and time.
If you have decided to adopt I would suggest that a real discussion on what you are willing to do or not do in an adoptive situation should be had with an adoption agency or with the person that will do your home study. My sister has adopted twice and she has said they never considered themselves the kind of people who could handle an “exceptional” child but after having their home studies done, they felt more at easy with their abilities and skills. It also helped them to feel good about the fact that a “good fit” would happen, and that their family and a needy child would find each other.
I know that your adoption journey will be a trying one (they all are) but, with God’s help, you and your future son or daughter will be truly blessed for your faith and perseverance.
OK, we have had two private, closed adoptions and two biological children.
In addition to doing your homework on adoption as suggested above, I can think of a few more things. Once you are committed to it, let people know you are interested if you are comfortable with that. In particular, let your OB/GYN know - - he or she is someone who comes in contact with pregnant women all the time. If you know any staff at a local hospital, same thing, let them know you are interested.
Second, consider hiring an attorney adoptionattorneys.org/ the preceding link is like the double-secret adoption attorneys club, so to speak. Anyway, they get notices from other attorneys who represent birth moms. Attorney retainers can be pricey, but they are there to represent you and only you.
You will hear horror stories of the expense. While it can be very expensive, it is not a certainty either.
Many states have adoption pages of their kids in the system but free to adopt. You can check to see if your state does too.
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