I know if you accidentally finish early during sex this is not a sin. I don’t know how to word this but in foreplay at some point there is a point of no return if you will. If someone is intentionally planning on having marital sex to completion in the correct way but perhaps “pushes their luck” a bit too far and just barely goes over the point of no return, begins to finish, but then continues on to finish the sexual act the correct way and the way intended, is that sinful?
I’m an old married lady long past the throes of early married life and its difficulties, but I think a wise Priest would probably try steering away from a mentality of ‘how far can I push my luck’ or ‘what can I do to the limit of not being a sin’. In the light of John Paul II’s extensive Theology of the Body, he would likely encourage you to cultivate the virtue of chastity in marriage in general rather than micromanaging the minutiae of acts.
The Saintly Pope says “Chastity is a difficult, long term matter; one must wait patiently for it to bear fruit, for the happiness of loving kindness which it must bring. But at the same time, chastity is the sure way to happiness.”
And it does bear fruit in time in the form of the unselfish love that puts your spouse first. It is hard to imagine when young how someone else’s happiness can be more important and satisfying to you than your own but it is true and worth the effort.
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