I’ve heard some people recommend that we should request the intercession of dead relatives.
However, what if, unbeknown to me, they died in a state of mortal sin. Can they - or how can they - intercede for me if this was the case?
Any answers greatly received!
I will pray, and let God sort it out. 
Welcome to CAF:)
The only time you should request the intercession of a dead relative is if they lived an incredibly pious life, so much so that you believe they are in Heaven. This is very rare however.
The best thing to do is to pray for the Holy Souls’ intercession. The Holy Souls are those souls in Purgatory being purified. Asking for their intercession is an acceptable practice as set out by Church teaching. Asking for the Holy Souls’ intercession (and dead relatives may be a part of the Holy Souls) eliminates the need for discernment as to what state of affairs the relative(s) is in.
Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk
Oh, and those in Hell can not intercede for anyone. Therefore, anyone who dies in a state of mortal sin that is not repented, and ends up in Hell, can not pray for those on Earth.
Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk
Actually, I think its perfectly fine to ask for the intercession of dead friends/family member. Their was a saint, I believe, who said they saw priest falling into hell like snowflakes. So we can never know who is in heaven, purgatory and hell.
Sorry to have to disagree with you here. I pray to any and all of my deceased relatives. I have every confidence that Jesus meant what He said when He told St. Gertrude: “When I behold any soul in agony who has thought of Me with pleasure, or who has performed any works deserving of reward, I appear to that soul at the moment of death, with a countenance so full of Love and Mercy that the soul repents from its inmost depths for having offended Me, and that soul is saved by this repentence.” I can’t imagine any of my relatives denying Jesus at His appearance at their moment of death. There may be many in purgatory, but I seriously doubt that any is in hell.
God hears all of our prayers and none of our prayers are in vain. Even if your deceased loved ones were not able to hear/answer your prayers for whatever reason (even if they were damned) God still knows your heart. He would know that your loved ones were unable to intercede for you, but you would still gain the merit that comes from faithful prayer and God would be sure to help you Himself.
Actually, yes you are correct ;). I have read many times that God sometimes “passes” on prayers that was said for someone in Hell to those in Purgatory.
My only worry is that, and hopefully the above posters will also answer this question, is that when one prays to the dead, couldn’t that open the door to demonic activity? After all, the “adversary” is spiritually dead, so he isn’t distinguishable from those in Hell.
Apologies for the slight error 
Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk
I haven’t really read any works by any saints. Yes, I think I’ve made an error …see above post. Apologies for that.
That said, I hope you do know that what St. Gertrude wrote down is private revelation, and can possibly be open to error (e.g. exaggeration, constructed memory, etc). I recall a saint who remarked something along the lines of God that He comes first as a Divine King, and then as a Just Judge (which could include sending a person to Hell).
Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk
Priests are also capable of sinning. I once read that the sin a lot of priests commit is spiritual pride, and as you know, pride is generally the worst of all sins. This is why it’s really difficult to live a life like Jesus. On the one hand, you are battling against common sins such as sins of the flesh. But then when you’ve accomplished that, you have to fight the pride that entails such a victory. And because pride usually goes unnoticed, that is what makes it even more harder to fight.
Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk
I mean “Merciful King”.
Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk
because we dont know who is saved, who is in purgatory and who is in heaven, we should hope that our loved ones are saved, but pray for them as though they are in purgaoty…
if you want to ask for your deceased familys intercession then you should also pray for them and ask god to grant you the favour through their prayers and intercessions…that way you arent praying directly to them, you are letting god be the go between and leaving god in charge…
if you ask for your deceased families help also ask for the holy souls help too…
heres a prayer you could use to do that
eternal father, through the immaculate heart of mary and also through her prayers and intercession i offer you the bitter passion, agnizing death, holy wounds and precious blood of our lord jesus christ,
in union with all the masses being said this day throughout the world for relief and deliverance of all the holy souls in purgatory and especially ( name your relatives) and i beg you eternal father to please grant to me through the prayers and intercession of mother mary and of all the holy souls in purgatory especially (name your relatives) the following favours (name your requests)
amen
We don’t have to accept private revelation. That’s true, but when the Church has investigated a person’s life and declared that person in heaven, I take very seriously the words of that saint, especially when she is quoting the words of Jesus to her. Do you really think that she quoted Jesus erroneously? Don’t you think that the Holy Spirit would have guided her to quote correctly the words that Jesus wanted us to hear? I believe St. Faustina is the saint you were referring to regarding the Just Judge statement. She quoted Jesus saying that if we pray the Divine Mercy chaplet in the presence of a dying person, that person, upon death, would meet the Merciful Savior and not the Just Judge.
i think that is a brilliant promise that jesus gave just for 1 recitation of the chaplet on behalf of a dying person…
You can’t be more generous than God.
i agree 100%
Good point!
You should always assume that they are in Purgatory.
If you think someone is in Heaven you will not pray for them. (Not needed).
If you think someone is in Hell you will not pray for them. (Too late).
If you think someone is in Purgatory you will pray for them. (They need prayers).
You pray for the Holy Souls to help them.
You pray through Saints so they can help you.