To Baptize or not to Baptize

I am a mother of a blended family. My husaband and I were brought up Roman Catholic and received all sacraments. When married, we decided not to get married in a church because of our beliefs at the time. We got married by a priest. Our family consists of a step daughter (baptized), adopted son (not baptized) and a newborn. My husband and I do not practice going to church and also we do not agree with some beliefs of the church. Even though we do consider ourselves cathoilc, should we baptize our adopted son and our newborn?

Part of having you child baptized is a promise on your part to raise the child in the Catholic Faith and to teach them, through your words and actions, the Catholic Faith.

If you are prepared to do that, have the children baptized

If you are not, you probably shouldn’t

In either case, consult a priest for guidance on the subject.

Yes of course. If you consider yourself catholic then that is a product of your own baptism, your confession of faith binds you to the requierment to baptise your children. Who knows, the time you send preparing for the baptism of your children may help alleviate some of the concerns you have in your own faith. Trust in the Holy Spirit for He has lovingly revealled the way of baptism to the whole world.

God Bless


I would point out that there is a Canon on the subject that needs to be taken into account

Can. 868 §1 For an infant to be baptized lawfully it is required:

2° that there be a well founded hope that the child will be brought up in the catholic religion. If such hope is truly lacking, the baptism is, in accordance with the provisions of particular law, to be deferred and the parents advised of the reason for this.

While not conclusive, it does seem that such a well founded hope might not in this case.

She probably should consult a local priest or deacon to investigate more deeply into the matter.

Baptism is a beautiful gift of God, but it is not to be undertaken lightly.

how could you get married by a priest if you were not married in the Catholic Church? the key question here is one or both of you Catholic. If so, the Catholic party is bound by church laws on marriage. If one of you has a stepchild, that means that possibly there was a previous marriage. If so, the validity of that marriage has to be assessed. The validity of current marriage is also in doubt. You need the counsel of your pastor on how to proceed.

By no means am I asking you to give more details here, this is not the proper place because we cannot advise you. Only the priest who knows the entire story can convalidate your marriage if you are canonically free, or help you seek annulment of prior marriages (if any). You or your husband cannot receive the other sacraments in the Catholic Church unti this is resolved and you have the advice of a priest (not parish secretary, DRE or deacon if you suspect your situation may involve matters for the confessional).

Meanwhile, you can begin to study the actuality of what the Catholic Church teaches. Your parish can help you there. A lot of what so-called Catholics disagree with is actually something they have not been properly taught or understood. You owe it to yourself to get the truth. Then you can see about bringing your children to the sacraments and educating them in the faith.

we wish you all success, and I am sure you are being led by the Holy Spirit to ask these questions. we are all praying for you and your family.

how could you get married by a priest if you were not married in the Catholic Church?

Well, if she ment inside the building of a Church, special permission would have to be sought by the couple from the Bishop to do so.

My husband and I do not practice going to church and also we do not agree with some beliefs of the church. Even though we do consider ourselves cathoilc, should we baptize our adopted son and our newborn?

I would go with No for now…
As Brendan said, part of Baptising you child is you acknowledging that you will raise your Children in the Catholic way and acknowledge that they may have religious vocations, and you will not try and prevent them from following such vocations.

I also agree with puzzleannie on checking up of the validity of your Marriage.

Baptism is a great thing to experience, but while the actual performance of the Sacrament may only take a few minutes, the commitment you make to your child is a life long one.

I believe there is a passage like “How can you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile while telling the Gentiles to live like Jews.”

Well, for one because of this issue I am looking into my faith and I am coming up confused (hence the user name) and a touch lost. Simply because my personal life was a rough one and I have sinned according to the church. Because of this my faith has been tested and my beliefs have changed. I do believe in a GOD. I believe things happen for a reason. I also believe that you make your life what it is.

I was bought up in a strict house hold which has it pros and cons. I found my partner (husband now) when I was young and I have been with him for 9 years married for almost 2. We were married by a catholic priest and not in a church. Our step daughter was from a previous relationship from my husband but not a marriage. While my husband and I were together we found out about his daughter and got custody of her. We also adopted her half brother. Both kids share the same mother, which was unfit to take care of them both. After getting married we had a baby girl. Now because of her birth, family members ask if we are going to baptize her and my adopted son, since he was never baptize. My husband and I come up unsure.

I consider myself a good strong person that has done things that other people would have never done. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband and we have a wonderful and loving family.

So basically, with the events that have happened in my life I didn’t put GOD first. I put myself first and took care of me until my husband came around. I tried going to church but always felt uncomfortable or that I didn’t belong there. Ever since then I do what I have to do for my family and take life as it comes.