Anyone know where jealousy comes from and how to kill it?

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It comes from Heartless. You have to kill it with the keyblade.
 
Ah okay thanks.
Well, I am referring to the vice / bad thing / thing that mucks up your head and damages your relationships with others, that is called jealousy.
 
I hear ya. Dunno what to say about that, I’m a jealous/envious person myself. I’m the type of person that thinks <“Trust and you’ll be trusted” said the liar to the fool> That could be because I used to lie all the time and do dirty things behind a loved one’s back. So now I feel that it may all come to bite me back in the behind.

Now when I look at one of the 7 Deadly Sins Envy the Virtue is Charity. What exactly does that mean “Charity”. Giving? Giving what?

I’m thinking trust? But how many times have we been burned in trusting just about everyone?

I’m still in that spiritual battle and failing miserably.

I’m with you on this one. Don’t know how to kill it/get rid of it
 
envy and jealousy are similar but not identical. Envy is being disturbed, angry, and resentful against someone who has more material possessions and success, and harboring bad feelings and intentions against someone who is “luckier” in their life, sucess, relationships etc. than you are. Jealously is being resentful, disturbed and angry against someone you love and care about because of a perception that they do not return your love, or are unfaithful, or because they are receiving more love, attention, favor etc. from a parent, from God.

the alternate virtue is charity, and the antidote to envy and jealously is described very well in 1 Corinthians 13.
 
Ah okay, so what I am suffering from is envy not jealousy then.

I had a read of 1 Cor 13, it was basically just talking about love. So how is this done then? If I act kindly towards people who I am envious of then the envy will go away?
 
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Flopfoot:
Ah okay, so what I am suffering from is envy not jealousy then.

I had a read of 1 Cor 13, it was basically just talking about love. So how is this done then? If I act kindly towards people who I am envious of then the envy will go away?
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I’m guessing!

Instead of being envious to people. I guess we are to love them and be happy that they have whatever it is that we don’t or are envious about.
 
A way to get over envy and jealousy is to realize that everything we possess that is good: virtues, gifts such as intelligence, are from God. We must find the humility to acknowledge that most things we are able to accomplish on our own, outside cooperation with God’s grace, involves sin in one form or another. Therefore, anything good that we do likely involves God because it involves cooperation with Grace.

If we see another person doing good works, or possessing something in their character that is of high virtue or moral character, or possessing another gift of the Holy Spirit, then we should strive to see that person’s good actions and traits as coming about as choreographed by the Indwelled Holy Spirit. We should try, try, try to see Jesus Christ in our fellow man. We should rejoice at seeing good things coming from others, and we should give thanks to God for it.

Everything is under God’s Providence. God may give one person a photographic memory and may give another person a lousy memory. As children, the kid with the lousy memory may envy the former, but he might think twice if he realized that the smart kid in the class would grow up to be a heart surgeon and would someday perform emergency triple bypass surgery on the person with the lousy memory and save his life. If the kid with the bad memory knew this—he’d not be envious of the smart kid in the class. He’d thank God for placing a person on this earth smart enough to become his future Heart Surgeon.

Also, God expects more from those who are given more. The person with a good memory might have to sacrifice marrying his High School sweetheart in order to attend college, put off having kids until an old age, might have to suffer long nights of studying very late for a very long period, etc. This person would have to suffer through the stress of becoming a physician, long-term debt to school and business loans, etc… And, like a lot of doctors today, he’d suffer ingratitude from many of those under his care, suffering wounds of sorrow in his heart. Like a lot of docs, the stress of becoming and being a physician might subtract a decade or two from his lifespan. Those who are given more stuggle more.

If you knew just how much God expects of those who have been given much, you would cast aside any envy or jealousy and you’d thank God that great and difficult works and sacrifices are not going to be required along your path to salvation.

God Bless!
 
Hi Flopfoot…you say that envy is your problem not jealousy.

There are two types of envy…one believe it or not is noted by some of our saints and titled ‘holy envy’ because we sight the good and the virtues in others and desire with envy that we could be so good and virtuous…and this is an entirely positive sort of envy. Because I am in fact desiring to be a better person and have someone in mind I would like to be able to imitate. This is entirely positive and good!

The other envy the negative envy is in fact jealousy. I am envious of another person because I want what they have. And it has a tinge or an aweful lot of not liking that person often and simply because they seem to have more than I do in some way. Or to have something I do not. In this is ingratitude to God and also not insighting that God has every right to dispense his gifts material and spiritual wherever He may. Hence it is more an offence against God and His Divine Providence than perhaps against another person, although it is unjust to them too. It becomes a sin or offence against Charity or love of neighbour, if I in some way victimize or hurt them in some way because I am envious of them or harbour such thoughts in my heart.

I personally find it very helpful to meditate on The Mystical Body…we are many and members of the One Body…hence your gifts are mine and mine are yours. As St. Paul explained things…more or less like this…wouldn’t if be funny if a foot wanted to see like an eye or an ear wanted to speak like a mouth. No! we all have gifts and exercise these gifts for the good of all on behalf of the all. We are One Mystical Body in Christ.

I think in a case of envy/jealousy, if the person prays and ponders the right of God to deal with each person as He may including oneself and repents of the offence asking God’s Pardon and continually pondering God’s Divine Providence and praying for the grace, then I tend to think envy/jealousy will pass…it may take time and perhaps much hanging in there and perseverance even in some failures…then start again…and again…and you will have progress I can promise you that with confidence. Rome was not built in a day nor is sin overcome often in a day…but neverthelss we persevere against it. Saints are sinners who just wont give up…so wont give up, willya;) St. Flopfoot!:dancing:

“Burnt offering from me you would refuse, my sacrifice a humble and contrite spirit and a humble contrite spirit you will not spurn” Psalm, Divine Office)

Blessing and Peace

Barb:)
 
Quoting Golden Arrow…
If you knew just how much God expects of those who have been given much, you would cast aside any envy or jealousy and you’d thank God that great and difficult works and sacrifices are not going to be required along your path to salvation.
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Well I’m just a very ordinary person in the street, nothing remarkable at all about me…poor, stuggling, ill health…but I sure have known tremendous sacrifice in my life. “As gold is tested in fire, so the servants of God are tested in the crucible of suffering”. The cross is our calling card and symbol…and for a reason. Not many lives I dont think anyway pass without suffering and perhaps great suffering and from those not gifted in the ‘worldly’ perception at all…and great suffering totally unnoticed and hidden…and perhaps all their lives unnoticed and hidden…“we make up in our own bodies what was lacking in the sufferings of Christ” (St. Paul).

Just an observation, Golden Arrow…I thought in the main your Post was excellent…Barb:)
 
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Flopfoot:
Ah okay, so what I am suffering from is envy not jealousy then.
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You are envious because of the way you think about other people.

At times I am tempted to envy when I see someone who has kids (my wife and I don’t yet), someone who is doing better financially, someone who has things I don’t. Then I stop and remind myself, is it this person’s fault I don’t have these things? His having these things did not result in my not having these things.

In most cases, if I work harder I can attain these things (that is the blessing of living in America). At that point I look at that person as an example. He has achieved these things because he worked to get them.

Other times I see people who seemingly don’t deserve their things. Spoiled celebrities come to mind or people who inherited their wealth and make no effort to make the world a better place. Then I take a closer look and see that these people aren’t happy. Their riches seem to make them more unhappy most of the time. And again, their having these things has not taken anything away from me.
 
But sometimes it’s purely because of another’s good fortune and not something that they have done that they have something… and they are still happy with it. Anyway, good for them. It seems that with time my envy has sort of gone away - well not exactly, but it’s like an active volcano become a dormant or extinct volcano, just not erupting.

Fine, so these guys are more intelligent and more confident and better looking than me, and they get the girls I like. That’s their lot, God hasn’t given the same lot to me. It’s like a poor person complaining about being poor - well what are they supposed to do about it? It’s not like God has ‘gypped’ them of being born into a rich family, as if they had a right to it or something. All men are equal but that doesn’t mean they are given equal things. I’ve got enough stuff to worry about without worrying about what someone else has got.

I can’t banish the thoughts from my mind in the same way that I could kick a stray dog out of my house, but if these thoughts are gonna stick around then I can just let them starve to death by not feeding them (come to think of it, that works for the dog too).
 
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Dimmers:
I hear ya. Dunno what to say about that, I’m a jealous/envious person myself. I’m the type of person that thinks <“Trust and you’ll be trusted” said the liar to the fool> That could be because I used to lie all the time and do dirty things behind a loved one’s back. So now I feel that it may all come to bite me back in the behind.

Now when I look at one of the 7 Deadly Sins Envy the Virtue is Charity. What exactly does that mean “Charity”. Giving? Giving what?
I’m thinking trust? But how many times have we been burned in trusting just about everyone?

I’m still in that spiritual battle and failing miserably.

I’m with you on this one. Don’t know how to kill it/get rid of it
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The meaning of “charity” is “love of God”.
 
Learn to see hidden blessings in the outcomes you experience. Meditate on the humility of Our Saviour. These are things we can do to be less envious and more charitable.
 
Hi Flopfoot

I am wondering if forgiveness on your part would help you to overcome the vice of envy. I am not sure if you should forgive God or the object of your envy or both. I think perhaps both. perhaps even yourself.

I would pose this question in the ask apologist section of the forums and specifically request the priest to respond…how can we overcome the sin/vice of envying our neighbors.

I look forward to hearing his answser.

I want to thank you for posting this because I am usually an object of envy and it really hurts my feelings.
Its not my fault that i have more or better than another person and I think it is unkind to want to take their goods away or make them feel bad about having something that the envier doesn’t.

i know some things are within the power of the envier to obtain without taking it away from another…such as a great figure.
 
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Flopfoot:
But sometimes it’s purely because of another’s good fortune and not something that they have done that they have something… and they are still happy with it. Anyway, good for them. It seems that with time my envy has sort of gone away - well not exactly, but it’s like an active volcano become a dormant or extinct volcano, just not erupting.

Fine, so these guys are more intelligent and more confident and better looking than me, and they get the girls I like. That’s their lot, God hasn’t given the same lot to me. It’s like a poor person complaining about being poor - well what are they supposed to do about it? It’s not like God has ‘gypped’ them of being born into a rich family, as if they had a right to it or something. All men are equal but that doesn’t mean they are given equal things. I’ve got enough stuff to worry about without worrying about what someone else has got.

I can’t banish the thoughts from my mind in the same way that I could kick a stray dog out of my house, but if these thoughts are gonna stick around then I can just let them starve to death by not feeding them (come to think of it, that works for the dog too).
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Had a real smile at tthe above Flopoo:wave: t…life is a journey and we are all at a certain place in our journeys and because as strange as it may sound that is where God wants us to be, His Ways not being ours. And wherever one is at has the capacity to make a great saint of one. Just dont give up!
I am convinced personally that if I attained the sanctity that I desire to attain, I would be full of pride … hence God keeps me in my miseries and keeps me thus humble…very humble:D

Barb:)
Cacha around!
 
On similar lines, or perhaps the same line, there are certain things that put me in a rage to see, to the point where I would give people evil glares, like I literally wanted to lay the smackdown, and actually I would try and start fights at times.

Things have changed immensely now, but I remember one way to diffuse the feelings was to think to myself that God sent that person to cross my path for a reason, like He was testing me. Right or wrong, it makes things immeasurably more endurable…
 
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CSN:
On similar lines, or perhaps the same line, there are certain things that put me in a rage to see, to the point where I would give people evil glares, like I literally wanted to lay the smackdown, and actually I would try and start fights at times.

Things have changed immensely now, but I remember one way to diffuse the feelings was to think to myself that God sent that person to cross my path for a reason, like He was testing me. Right or wrong, it makes things immeasurably more endurable…
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Hi there CSN…an excellent philosophy and sound spiritual theology, that everything that happens, everything, comes about of God’s Will and for good and positive reasons if we are sensitive to God’s Will and to the good in any situation whatsoever. Your post also illustrates well and from life experience that our lives are journeys, and where we have started out may well now be further on than we were then and courtesy of God’s Grace, His Holy Spirit, and perseverance.

Great Post!:dancing:

Barb:)
 
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