Aspiring Deacon with questions

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NickyMaz

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A month ago I had a meeting with my priest and mentioned, in a very minor way, the idea of possibly becoming a deacon. This is something I had never thought of. But from that seed I have been thinking and praying on it, as well as doing research into the requirements and process.

I just turned 35, I am married with four very young children (18 month old triplets & a 5 month old). I am also an active duty officer in the US Air Force, I have 13 years in and plan of staying until I can retire in 2025. Since the formation period is five years I plan on looking to begin that when I retire from active duty and settle down, I’ll be 42 years old at that point and the kids 8-9 years old.

Question, is it possible to begin a diaconate formation in one place and move to another? For example, if I begin in one city but due to work get transferred, can I start where I left off in my new location?

Also, between then and now how should I prepare myself? Obviously, I am going to continue being a faithful catholic man (attending mass, going to confession, being active in my parish etc).

Thanks,
Nick
 
@(name removed by moderator) will probably be more help than any of us…

I will be sure to pray for you!
 
@(name removed by moderator)

Depends on your DIocese. Many encourage younger men, mine does not. Your focus should rightly be the young children.The diaconate will pull you away from family sometimes. I would go to your Dicesan website and contact the Director of the Permanent Diaconate.
God bless you as you discern.
 
There seems to be a lot of variation on the children age issue. Our diocese for a long time wouldn’t take a man into diaconate formation whose youngest child was below 8th grade. That may have eased a little. On the other hand, I’ve seen deacon ordination pictures where the new deacon is holding his toddler child. As you describe your family, you have a lot of priorities at home; you might want to defer a bit.
 
Thank you. I thought I made that clear in my post, I’m not looking to get started in this for at least another 7-8 years when I’m settled down and the kids are older.
 
If you’re moving around all the time, and don’t know where you will be, its probably better off deferring the classes until you know you will be in one place long enough to complete the formation program.
 
Nick,

While there are some very generic guidelines nationwide for educating future deacons, every diocese sets its own policies and procedures (for the education itself).

Unfortunately, preparing for diaconate is not like attending college, where credits can be easily transferred.

It’s very unlikely that a diocese will accept a candidate for diaconate unless he is expected to actually serve as a deacon there after ordination.

The military Archdiocese does not incardinate clergy (think of incardination as “unit of assignment” as opposed to “attached”). Instead, all the clergy are incardinated in their home diocese (permanent assignment) while on temporary loan to the military Archdiocese (temporarily attached). Since they do not incardinate, neither do they ordain priests or deacons.

There is also a canonical issue. Canon 289 generally prevents clerics from becoming voluntary members of the military (obviously excepting Chaplains); although technically it doesn’t say “military should not become clerics.” The bishop can still permit this, but it does present an obstacle.

You wrote that the formation program for deacons is 5 years—that would be the policy of the territorial diocese where you now live. Depending on the diocese, it can be as short as 2 (rare) or as long as 6 or 7.

The problem is that there’s no way of guaranteeing that you’ll still be living in that same diocese 5 years from now. Much less is there any way of knowing with certainty where you’ll be living after that. I know that you’re thinking “tell me something I don’t know”—that’s not my point. My point is that this is the reason why a bishop would be reluctant to accept any active-duty candidate for diaconate.

Once a deacon candidate begins the process, certain rules take effect. If a candidate either leaves or is forced to leave, it’s very difficult to get back in. This is done to prevent ordaining candidates who aren’t suitable from moving from one program to another (being removed over and over) until they finally just get lucky and manage to get ordained. Think of it as being “non-selected” You get 2 (maybe 3) chances. If you have a vocation to diaconate, you don’t want to apply, then get “non-selected” 2 times because once that happens, you’re done. You’re no longer eligible to apply again.

All of that is the bad news.
 
The good news is that it’s still not impossible. There is an outside chance that the diocese where you live now might be willing to work with you. Most important will be the question “where do you expect to be in 5 or 10 years?” If you are able to answer that question, they might be able to work with you.

Quite frankly, it’s going to be a long shot. A lot of pieces are going to have to fall into place in just the right way.

Also, you’ll be eligible for retirement in just 7 more years. That’s not such a long time.

For now, contact the deacon director for the territorial diocese where you live now.

In the long term, you might have to wait a few years. I think your most likely scenario would be to apply to the diocese at whatever will be your (expected) last permanent assignment before you hit 20 years. If you plan to be there after retirement, they might accept you into formation while you’re still active duty.

I wish you the best.

(By the way “I feel your pain” Believe me. My bishop allowed me to go into the USAR. He retired. The next bishop immediately yanked me out. He wouldn’t even entertain a conversation about it.)
 
NickyMaz said:
Also, between then and now how should I prepare myself?
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I would do two things… First, I would meet with the diaconate formation director in your diocese and talk with him and tell him your concerns and questions. The initial meeting is just for that (at least in my diocese) and you will get the facts from his perspective.

Second, I would get a spiritual director. This should be someone other than your pastor or who is at your own parish. I was told this is important to have someone outside of your parish so that their pastoral duties to you are not compromised. Your spiritual director can then help you discern over the next few years on if this may be a calling for you or not. Regardless, they would help you along a very enjoyable spiritual journey.

God bless,

John
 
I was your age when I first looked into becoming a Deacon.

I too had young children and the director for the Diaconate asked me to think about waiting, because of the age of my children.

He was right.

The demands of being a husband and father with young children would never have worked.

So I waited until I was age 46

Also, in my dioceses, both my wife and myself had to go through three interviews, but also, we had to take 12 weeks of discernment, attending Mass followed by classes two nights a week, along with three Sunday afternoon retreats.

If God is calling you to be a deacon, the doors will be open. If not, doors will close.

However, you have to pray for the discernment to see God’s will rather than your own desire.

Hopefully your dioceses has a good discernment process as mine has.

As a priest friend advised me, “God’s call is an invitation, not a mandate.”

God Bless
Jim
 
A question for all the deacons here:

Once your formation formally began (not so much, when you first applied, but once the formal classes started)

How long did it take from the beginning of formation until ordination itself? Or answer from both perspectives, if you please.

In my diocese, it takes 6 years. That includes one year for all the application processes. Not that it really takes this long, but because the formal formation begins once-per-year in the fall. So a man who applies in the Fall of 2018 or Spring of 2019 won’t begin until the Fall of 2019.

The formation program itself takes 5 academic years (not necessarily 5 full calendar years) in my diocese.

Of course, pastoral formation is done concurrently with the academic studies.

I recall. from when I was a seminarian, my (then) diocese had a 2-year program for permanent deacons, although that was under a different set of rules & guidelines at the time (I think they’ve since become more strict nationally, but maybe not so much as to prevent a 2 year program from happening today).

Thanks.
 
My dioceses required four interviews before being accepted into the 12 week discernment period. One as a couple with the director of the Diaconate then one by myself and another with just my wife. Then one with a Deacon and his wife who made up the team serving the director.

Once accepted in to the 12 week discernment period, both my wife and myself had to attend two classes a week. Mass preceded class each night.The evening began at 6:30 PM and lasted until 9:30 to 10:30 PM. The first class was on discernment, the other on Church history around the diaconate. There were also 3 Sunday afternoons for a mini-retreat. They had ordained Deacons who were involved with various ministries outside of parish life and those assigned to parishes come in an speak with us. Then they had the wives of deacons come and speak.

After 12 weeks, if you were accepted and felt the call to continue, you then began formation.

Same two nights, except the classes were now taught by professors from Holy Cross College. This took five years before ordination.

In all, I knew I was not being called as I made it through the 12 weeks, but the schedule along with work too much for me to handle. I knew I would never handle five years of classes, with homework and other requirements. So, I withdrew after 12 weeks and I was shown quickly why this was God’s will.

Of the 25 men accepted into the discernment period, only four were ordained five years later. Of those four, three were retired and one was a teacher at the school where the classes were held.

In all, it was a win-win experience just going through the discernment process. We all learned so much.

Anyway, God calls, we follow.

Jim
 
Thank you to everyone who replied, I appreciate the information. I will continue to pray on this and grow in my faith. I am moving to a new base in April so I will look into finding a spiritual director when I get moved in there. Retirement from the Air Force is only 7 years away!

This morning, as I was driving to work, I was listening to the Catholic Channel on Sirius satellite radio and they were interviewing a deacon who was a retired Air Force surgeon. This man was at the Pentagon on 9/11 and saw the plane crash into the building, an event that served as a turning point in his life that led him to the diaconate, even as a surgeon and hospital administrator. I feel like this really spoke to me, that if someone like that can make it, I can too.

Regardless, if it’s God’s will he will open the door. I remain willing to walk through it.
 
Here in the Diocese of Beaumont, Tx it takes 5 years once accepted.

DGB
 
FrDavid96 said:
There is also a canonical issue. Canon 289 generally prevents clerics from becoming voluntary members of the military (obviously excepting Chaplains); although technically it doesn’t say “military should not become clerics.”
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Right, but a cleric would be a non-combatant, no? So, there would be the issue of the which AFSC is appropriate, right?
 
From first application until ordination it took 6 years, but the first year of application and initial interviews was not that much to do.

Our diocese didn’t have any kind of restrictions on young children. In fact, three of us in the class who were a little on the younger side of things, actually had babies during the formation period (well, our wives actually had the baby!!!). Was it hard? Yes, but all things are possible with God. Deacons are supposed to be a shining example of the kind of person who lives and works in the world but is also set apart by God and ordained for service to His people.

Don’t let the young children stop you if it is truly your calling. I would worry a bit more about the moving around part because that can be very hard if you have to move.
 
Gorgias said:
Right, but a cleric would be a non-combatant, no?
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That all depends. What function/job anyone would have in the military would be determined by the military itself, not by canon law. If a priest gets drafted as an infantry soldier, he has no choice. Granted, most countries (probably even the most totalitarian) would probably find him some other-than-combatant role, if for no reason than he’d be useless as an infantryman anyway.

Remember that the OP is already in the USAF. So right now, his military role is a given. The USAF would not re-assign him because he becomes a deacon candidate (although he could potentially change anyway, but at this late stage that might not be practical).
So, there would be the issue of the which AFSC is appropriate, right?
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That would really be up to the bishop. Remember that the canon says “not without the bishop’s permission.”

Also, in that particular canon, “military service” does not mean the same thing it means in everyday language that we use in the U.S. It means having a combat or potentially combat role. It does not refer to Chaplains, who are assigned for ministry purposes.

Other than chaplains, every military job has at least a potential for combatant status. Think of it this way: the military teaches everyone how to shoot–everyone except chaplains and individual conscientious objectors who volunteer for non-combat roles.

In the USMC every Marine has a secondary MOS of “infantryman.” Every…single…one. That’s why there are no Chaplains in the USMC. Instead, they are served by Navy Chaplains (who have special authorization to wear the USMC uniform if they’re assigned to Marine units, but they remain Navy Chaplains).

The OP has not shared with us exactly what he does in the Air Force. The answer to that question would surely influence the final decision of the bishop to accept him or not.

And since it requires the bishop’s permission, that’s going to depend a lot on the temperament of the individual bishop.

It’s like I said earlier: the canon is an issue. It might be an obstacle. It’s going to depend on a lot of different things. I just wanted the OP to be aware of it.
 
Fr David,

Interesting questions. I my case I do not intend to begin actively looking at deaconate formation until I am retired from the Air Force (in 2025). I serve as an intelligence officer and my job has me moving to a new base every three years, I want to be in a job where I will be in one location before I begin this process and right now the military doesn’t allow that. I’m stationed in Omaha right now and we’re moving to Florida in April. After I retire from active duty I hope to continue to work as an intelligence professional either as a government employee or contractor.
 
From what I remember as a priest friend of mine who served in the US Air Force as a Chaplin, is that he reported to the Bishop in Washington DC who is head of the clergy serving in the Armed Services.

It might be that the Permanent Diaconate is not open to military personnel, but I can’t say for sure.

Also, keep in mind that Deacons can not minister Last Rites nor hear confessions.

So the function would be more limited in the military than in civilian life.

Jim
 
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NickyMaz said:
Fr David,

Interesting questions. I my case I do not intend to begin actively looking at deaconate formation until I am retired from the Air Force (in 2025). I serve as an intelligence officer and my job has me moving to a new base every three years, I want to be in a job where I will be in one location before I begin this process and right now the military doesn’t allow that. I’m stationed in Omaha right now and we’re moving to Florida in April. After I retire from active duty I hope to continue to work as an intelligence professional either as a government employee or contractor.
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That should be fairly straightforward then.

I wish you the best!
 
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