Being sad at a wedding

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Have you ever felt lonely, sad, worthless, or unwanted when at a Wedding? Seeing couples together just holding hands and walking together smiling makes me sad. Sure I’m happy for them but I feel dead inside. I am going to a wedding this weekend for my brother and I am the Best Man and I’m expecting this to really hit home for me. Does anyone have advice? Should I try and not think about it and go with a fake smile if sad?

I know its there day and I should be happy for them and I am but that does not change how I feel.
 
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Weddings are great places to meet new people. Maybe you will meet someone special there.
 
Nothing ever works out for me though. So often I feel like someone has to take one for the team and that’s me. I just thank God that I’ve had moments where I felt close to someone because maybe just maybe for a moment I felt what a relationship would be like.
 
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I think it would help if you developed a more positive attitude and went to events and other places with the idea that you’re going to meet some really cool people (male and female) and if none of the girls there are the right one for you, maybe someone you meet will have a friend, relative etc who they can introduce you to.

People are attracted to others who seem confident and like they’re enjoying life, not all like “oh woe is me, always the bridesmaid and never the bride” or “always the wingman and never the groom” or whatever.
 
Forget about yourself for those few hours and fully enter into their joy. Celebrate their finding of each other. Someday it may well be you! Embrace this truth - God has it in for you, to bless you. He can’t help himself, he’s really crazy about you and really wishes good for you, and it is a far better good than you even wish for yourself. We got married at 39 and 37, first marriage for both of us, and I don’t know anybody with a better marriage. [Seriously - my wife was the 2nd person I dated; my only other dating relationship lasted 6 months.] It’s not about getting there quickly. It’s about being truly happy once you do get there. That’s what God has planned for you. Also, beware of the lie that you can’t be happy and fulfilled single!
 
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I am sorry about this. I hope thayou wouls feel better and enjoy being at the wedding. I understand what you mean about being lonely. I belong to a group of Catholix singles online and there were threads about people feeling envious when they see others in relationships oe being married. Strangely, while I desire those, I don’t find myself feeling envious. Still I know what it feels like to be lonely or sad. There are good days and bad days. I find that singles are tired of hering advice drom married people like be happy or so and so. Easy for them to talk when they are happily married, able to engage in relations, and or have children. Hard to lecture to a single person who doesn’t experiencr these blessings in a very direct manner.
 
Once when i was interviewing for a job, the hr asked me if I was single or married. I said single, and she responding saying, don’t you want to have a family? I don’t get bothered unlike other singles when asked if I am single, or why i am single. However, I felt kind of sad when she asked that, because my true response was, of course I do! Why would you think I don’t just because I am single? People, just because someone is single doesn’t mean it is voluntary. Involuntary singleness is a cross, please do not add insult to injury. Of course it was a job interview I couldn’t say that, so i just smiled and continued acting cheerful even though I felt sad.
 
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Do your best to be happy for your brother’s sake. Best man is an important role, so make the most of it. You get to make a speech/toast, be in charge of the ring, and all that, including supporting your brother through it.

Keep in mind, there are worse fates than being single. Check out all the posts from spouses who have been betrayed, abused, defrauded, lied to, or abandoned. Take it slow and ask God to find you the spouse who is perfect for you. God has a plan, and in many cases, it seems to be to develop patience in us!
Praying that you will have a blest day.
 
I’m sorry you feel this way. I cannot say I have felt as you describe. I always felt in the presence of something great. I did end a relationship after feeling sad at a wedding, like I saw that those two were eachother’s vocation and by contrast the dude I was with just wasn’t mine.
 
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I find that singles are tired of hering advice drom married people like be happy or so and so. Easy for them to talk when they are happily married, able to engage in relations, and or have children. Hard to lecture to a single person who doesn’t experiencr these blessings in a very direct manner.
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That makes sense. I don’t know what kind if “lectures” you are recieving, but keep in mind that plenty of married people once felt the exact same longing, sadness and loneliness. Heck, I barely had any platonic friends either to be jealous of at the time. Loneliness is a great tragedy.
 
DisorientingSneeze said:
keep in mind that plenty of married people once felt the exact same longing, sadness and loneliness.
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Yes, even those of us in good marriages are going to feel lonely at times and sometimes for extended periods of time. A spouse is not the cure-all for lonely feelings, and then on top of that you have the guilt of knowing you have a good spouse yet you still feel lonely and blaming yourself for that. At worst it leads to adultery or other wrong attachments outside the marriage.

Furthermore, when your spouse dies it can be very lonely.

I’m not even bringing up the large number of difficult marriages out there. I meet people on a regular basis who (rightly or wrongly) are so relieved to be out of a bad marriage and single again.

I believe that to a great degree we choose how we feel. I believe it was Will Rogers who said, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” So I can either sit around crying in my beer because I’m a lonely widow (who at this point doesn’t want to engage in fornicating to be un-lonely or to find somebody else, like I see other single friends my age doing) or I can keep a positive attitude and live my life. Positive attitude is more productive.

Finally, I’m not seeing that the OP has settled into a life of being single forever. He still has chances to meet potential partners, but coming off like a sad mope is likely to put them off.
 
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Our readings for this weekend deal with greed, envy, jealousy. Recognize these things and reject them. You love your brother. You want him to be happy in this life, right?

Unless his fiancee once dated you and rejected you, this wedding is not about you being rejected or unwanted. This is a time to celebrate and to “get out of your own head”.

Dance, give a loving toast, bask in the joy of time shared with family and friends. Do NOT let Satan win, he wishes to steal this joy from you.
 
Thanks for the charitable response. The lectures aren’t directed to me personally, but in general to singles, like those in message boards. Yes, we singles know tha marriage is not easy, and that it is not always happy. There are going to be difficult times. And the loneliness is in comparison to those who have been divorced or widowed or in unhappy marriages. There are happy marriages out there. We singles come from families, so we do have an idea of what marriage or fmaily life is like, albeit not experiencinf it ourselves.
 
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Dolphin said:
but I feel dead inside.
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By your programing you say no first thinking you can always change it to yes later but that’s where the lie lives.

I’ll give you the advice I gave to my children; with the help of the holy spirit, say yes first.
The more you say it the more you’ll know when to say it.

The yes’s are very attractive and will surround you will love.
 
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You were asked to be his best man. You’ve got four days to be the BEST best man ever.
Get a pen and paper and start writing all the yes’s you enjoyed with him and all the yes’s you know they will have.

Yes to life!
 
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