Boyfriend is catholic, I'm unsure of my religion

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Hi everyone,
So my boyfriend was raised catholic, doesn’t go to church much anymore but considers himself catholic. I was not really raised with any religion, I am very curious however about religion and would like to find a religion for myself. I am open to exploring Catholicism and seeing if its right for me. However, my mother and family are very strong atheists.
Marriage came up in conversation with my boyfriend and he mentioned that his mom feels very strongly about him getting married in a catholic church, and this is also something he sees himself doing.
I on the other hand, am open to learning more and possibly marrying in church (however I do LOVE outdoor weddings). However, I know my mother would be very disappointed if I married in the Catholic Church, but his mom would also be very disappointed if we didn’t.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Are there any compromises?
I will obviously have a serious conversation with my mom about marrying in church if this were to happen, but I was just wondering if anyone was in similar situations.
Thank you
 
You mention that you are open finding a religion on your own. Start attending Mass with your boyfriend - I think you’ll find it beautiful and interesting. Since your parents are atheist, they probably would not be happy if you married in any church building. How would they feel if you were converted to Catholicism? Others can address the validity of weddings for Catholics who marry a non-catholic, etc.
 
As a Catholic, your BF is obliged to either marry in the Church or to receive dispensation to marry outside it.

If your mother would throw a fit because you decided to marry in a church, maybe she does not need to be at the wedding.
 
Not in your exact situation, but my husband was a baptised catholic with no faith formation, and me a practicing Catholic when we met. We married in Church, as we both agree, and he did his first communion the day of our wedding, in part to please me.

After studying catholic, if you feel the desire to convert, the question of marriage of the Church will not be a question anymore, you will get married in church, with him, or another man, even if your parents would be disappointed.

In normal circuntances, a Catholic should marry in the Church, that’s why it is important for your boyfriend and family.

Yet, made you aware, that a marriage in the Catholic Church is not only a wedding done in a *church building (versus outdoor!). The spouse have to agree with doing a marriage preparation, living the 4 conditions of a catholic marriage, and the catholic(s) spouse(s) should made the promise to raise the Children catholic. A Catholic marriage is a sacrament in our Church, a sign of the divine presence.
 
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Once you find a religion (perhaps Catholicism) you truly believe in, it may be easier for you to tell your mother that you will be getting married in church. Maybe you should ask your boyfriend to take you to mass. He can explain to you what is going on.
 
It seems, putting the religious issues aside for the moment, that neither of you may be mature enough to commit to each other in marriage. You say he doesn’t go to church that often…but it’s important to marry in a catholic church, for his mother’s sake. You also, seem to be concerned with what your parents think.

If you’re under 21, it’s probably normal, and you should start getting to know your bf’s church, and his family, better. He should probably be thinking of making a stronger commitment to his faith, and start going to mass regularly. And asking you to go along, and explaining some things to you! You should start reconciling yourself to the possibility of your parents not havig any faith for a long time, and, if you become serious about this man, to learning his faith, and, if you feel called to, converting.

If you’re older, you may need counseling, both of you, to begin seeing yourselves as separate from your parents. If, after this, you find you love each other, and otherwise marriage, you should be planning the wedding both of you want. Take parents’ feelings into account, but don’t let them call the shots. It’s your day…not theirs.

You can both still be close to your parents, but should come first with each other. Just my personal opinion…you should wait until you either join the church, or decide it’s not for you.

Whether you end up together or not, wishing you both the best. Ask his priest about the particulars (If he must marry in a church building, etc.)
 
I agree with the others that have posted. I would like to add that the Catholic Church has a program both you and your boyfriend may benefit from. The Right of Christian Initiation for Adults (RCIA) teaches you about the Catholic Faith. It is for both non-Catholics and returning Catholics. There is no requirement to become Catholic, but if you choose, you can enter the Church at the end of the program. It begins in September and completes at the Easter Vigil on the Saturday night before Easter if you choose to enter the Church. It’s how I entered the Catholic Church just over two years ago. I began RCIA intending to learn more about my wife’s faith. By Christmas I had decided to join the Catholic Church. I’ve never regretted it for a minute. God Bless!
 
Welcome! Since you seem to feel an interior pull towards religion and Catholicism, I would encourage you to spend time learning more about the Catholic faith. The more you learn, the easier it will be to articulate where and why you want to get married where you do.

Also, one good compromise could be to have the wedding in a Church and the reception at an outdoor venue. 🙂
 
I agree, that would be an excellent idea.

While there is an obligation for a Catholic to be married in the Church or receive dispensation to marry outside it, there is no obligation as regards the wedding reception.

All of the Catholic weddings I have attended had the reception somewhere other than the parish hall. Not to mention that some parishes don’t even HAVE a parish hall, or it may not be large enough to hold a celebration. (I have attended mostly rural parishes. They usually don’t have halls. One didn’t even have an inside bathroom, just an outhouse.)
 
How exciting is it to start talking about possibly getting married. I felt like you. My fiance and his family are those who go to mass every Saturday and Sunday, so a Catholic mass wedding is very important to him and his parents. I was also never raised on religion.

I’d suggest start attending mass either with or without him. You may also want to do some research on it because EVERYTHING has a meaning in the church. Our traditions date back 2,000+ years. (I have a document that I’m currently working on if you want to see it.) But anyway, start attending and possibly look into RCIA. I was just recently baptised confirmed and received my first communion this year at the Easter Vigil. Y’all could do the church wedding then in a year or two, do a renewal on the beach. (That’s what we’re doing.)

Hope this helps. God bless. I’m here for you if there’s any questions.
 
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