Boyfriend wants to become a Franciscan

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lxpz
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

Lxpz

Guest
I’ve been with my daughters dad for 6 years we recently have been split up for 20 months now we are back together roughly 2-3 months but he is saying he cannot be with us because he wants to be a Franciscan. This is causing a lot of pain for us. He cries because he love our daughter but the “ feeling” he has inside is strong. Has anyone gone through this? I’ve told him we can get married and he can become a deacon but that isn’t what he wants.
 
He needs to go and actually talk to the vocations directors of the Franciscans and any other orders he thinks he wants to join. They generally do not support men wanting to join up who have a young child and are basically skipping out on their fatherly responsibilities.

They may be able to suggest some lay possibilities for him to follow Franciscan spirituality while fulfilling his responsibilities as a father .
 
I’ll remember your family in my prayers, I know this must be distressing for you.

On the bright side, there is absolutely no hope that the Franciscans will admit him, if he is honest about his background. Perhaps you should talk to him about that fact, remind him that he has a family to look after and they are the primary duty of state that he has to care about. This is the way that the chips have fallen for him and looking after you and your daughter is his first duty to God. Remind him that if he want’s to save his soul, joining the Franciscans in his state would be a disastrous step.

If he wants the Spiritual graces of Franciscan piety, or if he wants to combine Franciscan spirituality in his prayer life, or live a life that is recognisably Franciscan, perhaps he might consider joining the Franciscan Tertiary. This is probably the best way forward.
 
We signed a one year lease for our apartment two weeks ago now that we have been living together for a week he is saying he will
Need to move out because he doesn’t feel good and he can’t receive the eucharist. His dad ( deacon) has told me to keep him in prayers and hope he opens his eyes and realizes that he can serve god having a family. Otherwise then that he is moving out and leaving me and his child 15 miles away from our original hometown. In the past year he did a week retreat with fransicans. If he can’t be accepted to be a Franciscans then why do Franciscans entertain him?!
 
Doing a retreat with the Franciscans means nothing. Lots of people do retreats all of the time, including new Dads. I doubt the Franciscans have a clue what his plans are because if they did they’d tell him where to go. There is a chance that he is lying to them, or witholding the information. To that I’d say; God help him because it is a damnable sin to enter religious life under false pretences. Have you spoke to your priest about it? Ask your PP to come over and talk to him.
 
I forgot to add that he is not obliged under the law of the Church to stay with you. You are not married and thus he does not have a duty to you. It’s harsh but that’s the rules. What he MUST do is support his daughter, he is obliged to do that and the vows of poverty will preclude him from providing assistance to her, thus disqualifying him from the orders.

The very best situation you can have is for him to marry you and to live a good Catholic life as a father, in imitation of St. Joseph.
 
Lxpz said:
. If he can’t be accepted to be a Franciscans then why do Franciscans entertain him?!
Click to expand...
Anyone can sign up to do a retreat with a Religious Community if they offer retreats. Religious Communities are always very happy to have people come help with work!

I’ve an Episcopalian friend who goes every year to a retreat with Trappists.

I’ve done retreats with Domincan Friars (and I am a woman).

Joining an order is a far different thing. Honestly, your boyfriend needs to sit down with the Brother in charge and tell him “I want to desert my child in order to join” and see how well that goes over.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top