Can a godparent be removed from their "duties"?

[thubbell]

hi…i asked this question on “ask an apologetic” hours ago but am too impatient for an answer. hopefully someone can help me.

my 7 year-old daughter’s godfather (my maternal uncle) lives overseas. she’s knows about him, has seen him once, and spoken to him a few times on the phone. my beef is not with him. however, her “godma” lives stateside in potato country (idaho) and has never ever seen her. the first few years she kept promising to come visit. she’d send cards on special occasions & money sometimes. all that was fine and dandy. but the most important part she missed out on was meeting a delightfully loving little girl.

in the last 4 years menopause has hit terribly and she has hermitized herself from close friends. she refuses to initiate or respond to phone calls, letter, and emails. a close family friend came to visit this past weekend and offered - if at all possible with the church’s permission - to be my daughter’s godma. the two adore one another and as friends, we have all kept in close contact over the years. can anyone tell me how, if possible, i can have the first godmother removed from her duties (and on paper, too) and if so, how do i get started. this is been so bothersome and heartbreaking for the past couple of years. my daughter wonders why her godmother won’t visit or write her. i don’t know what to tell her. thanks for any help.

 

[vern_humphrey]

God parents don’t have legal rights – you can choose anyone to care for and teach your children, whether they’re God parents or not.

You don’t have to discuss this with the real God parent – just make a quiet arrangement with whoever you choose.

 

[MaryD7]

My ex-brother in law is my son’s Godfather. He walked out on my husband’s sister and 4 children four years ago and no one has seen him since. I went to our parish priest and asked him if I could rename my son’s Godfather and he said that it couldn’t be done. BUT, he said that a person may be added to the God-parent list IF the parish where my son was baptised agrees. Unfortunately, the other parish did not agree so, in reality, my son has no Godfather. But I will say that he has many other wonderful men in his life who care and teach him. That is really all that counts.

 

[cameron_lansing]

The sponsors at the time of baptism become part of the official record as established fact. They have already discharged the duty of presenting, with the parents, the child for baptism, and that fact has been recorded (c. 872§1). After baptism, sponsors are to help the baptized person lead a Christian life in keeping with it and being faithful to its obligations (c. 872§2). They are not seen as having any role beyond that, though, civilly, the parents might be able to designate them as guardians of the child(ren) if they should die or become incapacitated. But that point is for a civil lawyer to address.

However, exercising the office of parents, which is a true state in the Church, parents can certainly designate others for the duty of canon 872§2 when the original sponsors cannot fulfill it.

It may also be possible to have this noted in the baptism registry. Consult the parish priest of the parish in which the baptism was conferred. While the historical facts at the time of baptism cannot be changed, there are possibilities that can be explored. The decision will be subject to the diocesan bishop and whatever practice or policy which he has established.

See William H. Woestman, Sacraments: *Initiation, Penance, Anointing of the Sick * (Ottawa: St. Paul University, Faculty of Canon Law, 1996) p 72, fn 5: “If a sponsor dies or the parents are angry with the sponsor, the parents may request that the names of substitute godparents be added to the baptismal records. It is evident that it is impossible to replace a sponsor, who was physically present at the time of baptism for the presentation of the candidate. However, another person can be named to fulfill the duties of the sponsor. This may be done by the diocesan bishop if he judges it opportune (see L. Kada, secretary of the Congregation for the Sacraments, letter, prot. no. 1031/84, October 20, 1984).”

Perhaps though you might not want to go to this extent, hoping rather, that the situation between your child and the godmother will improve in the future, and draw on the support of others to nurture her faith as a sponsor should. After all, you have presented issues other than the role and duties of sponsor per se, but some difficulties in the godmother’s life as well as distance, and you have identified that the godfather is also remote.

So there are some obvious complications and other issues here, and we ask God’s help for you to judge prudently.

 

[Lrning]

I think I heard a similar story on Relevant Radio one time. I think it was Colleen Kelly Mast, and she had a wonderful suggestion. Why not use this less than ideal situation to teach your daughter about compassion and the power of prayer? When she asks why she never hears from her godmother, let her know that her godmother is having difficulty in her life right now. Show your daughter how to pray for someone that needs her prayers.

And although you may not be able to officially change her godmother, it doesn’t stop someone from assuming the duties and providing a great example to your daughter. You can explain that because “godmother Susie” is not able to do certain things, “Auntie Karen” has agreed to be her assistant godmother. (Or whatever term you wish to use.)

Good luck.

 

[thubbell]

thanks to all of you for your replies of advice. i have left a message with my parish priest as he’s currently out of town. i’m thrilled to know that i can at least have the new godmother ‘added to’. she will be thrilled to know. all that is required, aside from my parish priest’s notification and acceptance, is a letter from the new godmother’s parish in nevada to state of her good standing in the church.

again, to clarify, i have no beef with the godfather, my uncle. he’s busy as an army captain and has his own family and my grandmother to help take care of. my heart is more broken that my daughter’s real godmother has chosen to abandon ALL of her closest friends, including me & my mother, and her godchildren. i will pray for her. i’m just glad that another good friend has stepped in to offer herself as a catholic role model. i’ll let you all know of the outcome. god bless.