Can Godparents be replaced?

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stayathomemom

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My husband and I unknowingly made a big mistake when we chose our oldest daughter’s (she’s 6) Godparents (his brother and brother’s wife). I didn’t want them to be Godparents, but my husband was insistant at the time — thanks to his mother who nagged him to death about it. I finally gave in to avoid an argument with her. My husband now regrets asking them, and now our daughter is paying the price. I could tell stories that would make everyone’s hair stand on end, but it would take too long. We want better for her, and she deserves it - which leads me to my question. Can Godparents be replaced, and if so how do you go about doing it?
 
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stayathomemom:
My husband and I unknowingly made a big mistake when we chose our oldest daughter’s (she’s 6) Godparents (his brother and brother’s wife). I didn’t want them to be Godparents, but my husband was insistant at the time — thanks to his mother who nagged him to death about it. I finally gave in to avoid an argument with her. My husband now regrets asking them, and now our daughter is paying the price. I could tell stories that would make everyone’s hair stand on end, but it would take too long. We want better for her, and she deserves it - which leads me to my question. Can Godparents be replaced, and if so how do you go about doing it?
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From a canon law perspective, no. They witnessed the baptism, and that makes them the sponsor, there’s no way to undo that.

From a practical perspective – you could ask someone else to take a special role in your daughter’s religious life, acting as a “godparent” in a loose sense of the term. And when she is older perhaps they would stand as her Confirmation sponsor.
 
The original sponsers will always be the original sponsors. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find new Christian witnesses to be a part of your child’s life.
 
We have often wished the same thing.

I agree with 1ke on this. Choose someone else to be a ‘godparent’ stand in.

Is there someone you had in mind to take the original GP’s place?

It’s such an important decision and it’s so difficult when family gets involved and places that guilt on you to choose a family member.
We finally broke the mold with our second child and went ‘outside the family’ into our circle of friends. I don’t regret it ONE bit, even with the comments made by our families. People just don’t take this choice very seriously anymore (well, most Catholics in the pews), in my opinion.

Christina<><

she’s a crafty pumpkin
 
You’ll have a second chance when your daughter makes her Confirmation. It’s customary to choose a Confirmation sponsor.
 
hi,
unfortunately, using friends isn’t always the greatest idea. My friend was my first daughter’s Godmother, I haven’t heard from her basically since…last I heard she was thinking about turning Muslim ( can you revoke the title then??? ). My nephew’s godmother is Lutheran ( gasp, I still wonder how in the world that could’ve happened, considering she huffed during the creed…). I think we’re stuck with our bad choices, though. My Godparents were practically worthless ( sorry grandma, uncle…) when it came to teaching me the faith. Your daughter will make her way with your prayers, and , as said earlier, maybe another special person in her life to take the place of the actual Godparent. Thank goodness, we as parents have the main say in things ( as long as nothing happens to us, upstairs forbid…). May God bless you and your daughter, hang in there.
Peace!
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aquinas_chris:
We have often wished the same thing.

I agree with 1ke on this. Choose someone else to be a ‘godparent’ stand in.

Is there someone you had in mind to take the original GP’s place?

It’s such an important decision and it’s so difficult when family gets involved and places that guilt on you to choose a family member.
We finally broke the mold with our second child and went ‘outside the family’ into our circle of friends. I don’t regret it ONE bit, even with the comments made by our families. People just don’t take this choice very seriously anymore (well, most Catholics in the pews), in my opinion.

Christina<><

she’s a crafty pumpkin
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Remember, the Baptism witnesses or Godparents do not have to be the child’s Confirmation Sponsor. Find a good solid Catholic to be part of your child’s life, and when that child reaches Confirmation age - they may chose that person as sponsor.
 
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kage_ar:
Remember, the Baptism witnesses or Godparents do not have to be the child’s Confirmation Sponsor. Find a good solid Catholic to be part of your child’s life, and when that child reaches Confirmation age - they may chose that person as sponsor.
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I feel relieved now. I thought Godparents HAD to be the confirmation sponsors, so that is VERY good to know! I just wish there were a way to get her a new set for other important things in her life that “good” Godparents are there for. My younger brother is an awesome Godfather and his soon to be fiancee is an awesome Godmother (both to my son). I would probably ask them if I could change it, but I guess whats done is done. I have learned a good lesson, and will talk to my children about the importance of picking Godparents when they are older. Thanks everyone!!
 
We have also had a difficult experience with Godparents. Before my husband and I converted to the Catholic Church (he re-verted, I converted) we had our eldest son “dedicated to the Lord” in the Baptist church we were attending. “Dedication” is what some Protestant parents do in place of Baptising their children. I guess there is a natural desire for some kind of ceremony to thank God for the gift of a child and offer that child back to God’s care and protection. It is a pale imitation of the sacrament of Baptism.

We chose “Godparents” although our pastor said it wasn’t necesary in a Protestant church, because the church as a whole is supposed to look after the spiritual wellbeing of the child.

This couple were our oldest and dearest friends and we are “Godparents” to their son. They are a lovely God fearing Protestant couple.

When we came home to the Catholic Church we had our son Baptised and had to choose practising Catholics as real Godparents.

This was such a difficult thing to do to this couple and it has created a breach that to this day has not been healed. I wish we could somehow undo the hurt this caused. I think some of the pain is also caused by their shock and disbelief in our conversion as they are ex-Catholics themselves.

I still consider them as honorary Godparents to our son and hope that we can reconcile. Has anyone else had to replace Protestant Godparents with Catholic ones?

aboverubies
 
Hello I am a godmother to my best friends little girl and she is the center of my life. But because of an ugly agruement between me and the mother she wanted to replace me as a godmother. I found out that yes it is hard to replace the godparents but it is acceptable if their is a good reason to why you would like to replace them. What happens is you would be sent to the higher priests or such and would explain to them why you are ridding them of their duties to your child. It’s a long and tiring process but it has been done.
 
What is the process? I want to take that step! I have a beyond ugly situation. Can you let me know what the process is or where I can find out? I do not care how long it takes as long as I can get it done.
Stacey
s_matson@hotmail.com
 
SMatson1 said:
What is the process? I want to take that step! I have a beyond ugly situation. Can you let me know what the process is or where I can find out? I do not care how long it takes as long as I can get it done.
Stacey
s_matson@hotmail.com
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A) This is a seven year old thread. I have reported this to Mods as forum rules dictate that old threads not be resurrected.

B) The answer to your question is in nearly every reply already on this thread: there is no process. there is no such thing as removing a Godparent. That person will always be on the sacramental records, as they are the ones who witnessed the baptism. You can simply choose someone else to play a special spiritual role in your child’s life and your child can choose whomever they please for the Confirmation sponsor when the time comes.
 
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