Choosing a Godparent

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Kanda

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Hey everyone. I would like some advice/opinions please.

I am expecting my third child in 3 weeks. I have been praying very hard about who to ask to be godparents for this baby. (Hubby is non-practicing Catholic and leaves the decision up to me.)

I have prayed very hard about it and I am led to ask my brother-in-law’s girlfriend. She is a very sweet girl and very strong in her spirituality. When she was younger, she was a youth leader at her parish. She is still active in her parish community. Most importantly, she loves my kids to death.

I have mentioned asking her, but my mother-in-law and other family members have not endorsed the idea. They are afraid of what would happen if she and my bro-in-law ever broke up. (They have been together for about 4 years!) The family is afraid that a relationship with her and the child could become awkward or estranged.

If you were in my position, what do you think you would do? Please feel free to ask me any further questions about this situation that I may have not already addressed.

Thanks.
 
I would say it depends on how close you are to her. If they were to break-up, would you still keep in touch and continue the friendship without her being a godparent?
 
lotusblossom said:
I would say it depends on how close you are to her. If they were to break-up, would you still keep in touch and continue the friendship without her being a godparent?
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We are friends and I would probably keep in touch with her if they ever were to break up. Plus, I know that she would want to remain in my childrens’ lives. She has been part of the family since before my oldest was born and they all call her “Auntie” anyways.
 
We asked my younger brother and his girlfriend (of 4 years) to be the godparents of our youngest child. They recently got engaged, and are getting married in March.

Whether they would have married or not, it wouldn’t have changed who she is or my feelings about her. I chose her to be the godmother because of who she is and the fact that she adores my children (among other reasons as well)…not because she was my brother’s girlfriend and convenient to our family.😉

Good Luck deciding!
 
I hate to ask but is this woman living in sin with the BIL?:o
 
I agree with what everyone else says. If the worst did happen, and they did break up, if your relationship with her would continue, I see no problem.

Just out of curiosity, you mention your mother-in-law and other members of the family thinking it’s not such a good idea. What about your brother-in-law? I would think his opinion would be very important.

Good luck and God bless!

Trish
 
Damascus said:
I hate to ask but is this woman living in sin with the BIL?:o
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Thank you for the concern you show in asking. No, they are not living in sin. My BIL still lives at home with his mom and will be graduating from college this spring. His GF lives at home with her mom.

This is another reason why I am having a hard time seeing the concern of MIL and other family. My BIL says that eventhough they have been together for a long time, he has not asked her to marry him yet because he is waiting to graduate from college. He says that marrige means family and he wants to wait until he can support a wife and family both emotionally and financially.
 
TrishaW said:
What about your brother-in-law? I would think his opinion would be very important.

Good luck and God bless!

Trish
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I had not thought to ask him. I guess I had better do that. I do know that he is a godparent for one of her nephews, so hopefully he will have some good insight to provide me about the situation.
 
Thank you everyone so far on the (name removed by moderator)ut you have given me. I suppose that I could have thought of all of this stuff on my own, but it would have taken a lot longer. 😃 It really helps to be able to discuss the issue and have some other viewpoints.
Thank you so much.
 
I would ask someone who would pray for my child daily. And, I would ask someone whose commitment to fulfill the responsibilities of being a Godmother is serious.

If you have prayed about it, I would follow through on your inspiration.
 
Kanda said:
Thank you for the concern you show in asking. No, they are not living in sin. My BIL still lives at home with his mom and will be graduating from college this spring. His GF lives at home with her mom.

This is another reason why I am having a hard time seeing the concern of MIL and other family. My BIL says that eventhough they have been together for a long time, he has not asked her to marry him yet because he is waiting to graduate from college. He says that marrige means family and he wants to wait until he can support a wife and family both emotionally and financially.
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This is good to hear. I am puzzled by their ideas on this. You are so nice to consider their imput and be careful in your choice of godparent. I think they have to respect your feelings and let it go. I really wonder if they are manipulating you now. I hope not. This is your baby and you are certainly more concerned for your child than they could be.
FWIW, I hope they can see that you are the one in charge of this decision and will have no hard feelings if you choose someone they dont approve.

May the Holy Spirit guide you and may Mary comfort you through all this.

Congrats on the new blessing from God! Babies are the best thing in the world!
 
Kanda said:
Thank you for the concern you show in asking. No, they are not living in sin. My BIL still lives at home with his mom and will be graduating from college this spring. His GF lives at home with her mom.

This is another reason why I am having a hard time seeing the concern of MIL and other family. My BIL says that eventhough they have been together for a long time, he has not asked her to marry him yet because he is waiting to graduate from college. He says that marrige means family and he wants to wait until he can support a wife and family both emotionally and financially.
Click to expand...
This is good to hear. I am puzzled by their ideas on this. You are so nice to consider their imput and be careful in your choice of godparent. I think they have to respect your feelings and let it go. I really wonder if they are manipulating you now. I hope not. This is your baby and you are certainly more concerned for your child than they could be.
FWIW, I hope they can see that you are the one in charge of this decision and will have no hard feelings if you choose someone they dont approve.

May the Holy Spirit guide you and may Mary comfort you through all this.

Congrats on the new blessing from God! Babies are the best thing in the world!
 
This is not up to your in-laws. It is up to your husband and you. If you feel she has all the qualities of a good godmother, and you feel she will remain in your lives, for goodness sake, ask her!

And all the blessings on your delivery and new little one.
 
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