Coming back to Catholicism/Children's RCIA

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bergette

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Hello,

I am hoping to get some guidance from some of you. My husband and I are married 12 years, both Cradle Catholics and married in the Catholic church. Our children (8 &11) were also both baptized as infants in the Catholic church. That being said, here in Texas we had been going to protestant churches until the last 3 months when we returned to the Catholic church. We also always would periodically go to Catholic mass when visiting with each set of grandparents over the years. So the church is not at all foreign to my kids as they have ‘seen’ it throughout their short lives. As well they go to a Christian school and are very in tune with scripture memorization and teaching. As a caveat what led us back was me listening to Bishop Barron on my daily jogs and getting an understanding of the faith, that I did not have prior despite going to Catholic schools from K-12! My mom told me about him and I am so happy she did, it was God working in our family. Now I love to listen regularly to him and the Council of Trant podcast. Anyway when we decided to go back about 3 months ago, it felt so comfortable and like being back home in a sense I cannot fully articulate.

What we are currently faced with is our children being baptized, but not having the sacraments of confession and first communion. After speaking briefly with the parish it seems like they would like the kids to go through RCIA which would also include Confirmation. I am a bit baffled by this, as the age has been raised which I thought was a good move from 8th grade (when I was confirmed) to high school now, yet we are going to confirm an 8 and 11 year old? I would like them not to feel as though they ‘stick out’ and rather be able to do CCE with their age group. Also there is a very good chance they will go to the local Catholic high school and it would be nice if they could receive the sacrament with their respective classes. And quite honestly I would like us coming back to the church not to be an experience they may be resentful of, as the requirement is 2 hours every Sunday afternoon. For an 8 and 11 year old this may not bode well, and I completely understand that. I am told this is the first year of doing things this way and that the local parish really does not have much leeway to divert according to individual circumstances. I am meeting with our parish priest tomorrow to discuss. Knowing what I currently do however, I am leaning toward not putting them into RCIA until they are closer to the confirmation age I think is appropriate, which would be high school. Then the idea of sitting through the RCIA classes will not seem like such a burden when they have the maturity to grasp the what/why they are doing it. Until then they could just attend the CCE Sunday classes with their peers and get a blessing when we receive the Eucharist. Thoughts on doing things this way?
Just wanted to get some other thoughts on the topic and see if anyone has any advice or experience? Does anyone know if this is something that varies from parish to parish or if it is possible just to receive confession/first communion seperately? Blessings & TIA!
 
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It all depends on the Diocese rules and the pastor’s rules.

Used to mean a couple of catchup classes, but now many Diocese require 2 years prep for FHC or Confirmation.

Just sit down and speak to your pastor, they WANT your kids to receive the Sacraments.

And WELCOME HOME!!!
 
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Thank you! My hope is that a heart to heart with the pastor will help clarify.
 
Remember, infants can be Confirmed. In restored order of the Sacraments, Confirmation comes before First Communion.
 
I have read that and did not know prior. I guess I really just want them to get ‘on track’ and continue on with their age group. That would be my hope anyway, that they not have to ‘stick out’ because we did not do right by them in the ways of the church.
 
Unless you are in a tiny parish, there will be other kids in the same situation. Really, it is not uncommon at all and the parish has a plan in place 🙂
 
bergette said:
Thoughts on doing things this way?
Just wanted to get some other thoughts on the topic and see if anyone has any advice or experience? Does anyone know if this is something that varies from parish to parish or if it is possible just to receive confession/first communion seperately? Blessings & TIA!
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Yes, it does vary from place to place. Definitely lay it all out there with your pastor and see what he says.

Just to give you some insight into what some of the people at your parish might be thinking, from a canon law perspective, there is basically only “infants” and “adults” with the age of reason (about 7 years old) being the line of demarcation. So some parishes do put children over age 7 in RCIA because they cannot be baptized as “infants” since they are over the age of reason.

And if someone over the age of reason goes through RCIA, they often receive all the sacraments of initiation (including confirmation). Yes, this puts them on a different track as their peers.

Now, some parishes do “RCIC” (rite of Christian Initiation of Children), but technically the Church’s liturgical books don’t really provide for an RCIC.

At my parish, we put older children who missed a sacrament in the regular faith formation classes and they receive their First Communion after about a year, and then just stay on track with everyone else for Confirmation. But not every parish does it that way. Honestly, there are pros and cons whichever way you do it.

It does seem odd to me to put an 8 year old in the same class as a bunch of adults. What happens when they start talking about marriage and sins against the 6th Commandment? But if your pastor does want your children confirmed now, I’d look at it as a blessing. They get to receive all that grace sooner rather than later. That’s not such a bad thing. 🙂
 
If the norm in your diocese is to confirm during high school, your children will most likely enter RCIA for First Communion. After that they would on track with the children their age. Our program has a RCIA class for those 17 & under who are missing sacraments. If the youth is also eligible for Confirmation, age wise, he or she would also be enrolled in Confirmation prep.
 
RCIA is for the unbaptized and often those converting from a Christian denomination will be shoe-horned in with the unbaptized.

These kids are baptized Catholics. The process ought to be different for them.
 
My sister is in her forties. She had a delay in first communion for some family issues. So she was 9 ( just in between your two children)

She prepared with the second graders.

My youngest had his first communion two years ago. There were some older kids in the group, including a brother sister pair the brother was about 11.
 
Thanks everyone for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I spoke with our Pastor and he said they will receive their FHC and confession then go along with their respective age groups. I think their was perhaps miscommunication initially in that the person I spoke with did not understand the children were baptized in the Catholic Church. I was also excited to learn that Bishop Barron is a mentor of his. 🙂 An excellent fit for our family and exciting time to be in this parish it appears.
 
I agree. But “ought to be” and “will be” don’t always coincide. 😝
 
I don’t really have an answer to your queston, but at the ages of 8 and 11, I think you should wait until your kids let you know this is a desire they have. I think it would be wrong to force them into anything at this stage of the game.
 
JMMJ I am curious, do you identify yourself as Catholic and if so could you better explain as our children were baptized into the Catholic Church. They are Christians and understand what Jesus has done for them, now we would like to give them the fullness of faith offered by the church.
 
By the time children are 8 and 11, and have been pulled in this direction and that (with regards to religion), I would be surprised if they didn’t grow to resent their parents for forcing them into the Catholic faith. The last thing you want is kids who view the Church negatively because they didn’t have say in their lives. Their spiritually is theirs, and theirs alone.

It is very different than a child born into a religion, and that being all they know until they reach the age of majority. Some will decide to stay in keeping with it, others may not. By the time kids are 8 and 11 though, most have a mind of their own and don’t appreciate being told what they will be. Understandably, there are times parents make decisions for children (for example how to stay stafe, where they will be educated, what family members they will spend their time with), but when it comes to issues of spirituality you are dealing with a whole different thing.

I am a cafeteria Catholic. I was born into the religion in a devout family. I had much resentment about the religious things I was force into as a child. As an adult, I have worked through it, decided to keep that which enhances my spirituality and discard that which doesn’t. No doubt my experience is what I draw from with my views on these things.
 
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