Confirmation

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wallie

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Hi. I have a little problem that I hope somebody can help me with. I have been fighting to get my son Confirmed for just a little over 3 years just because I home schooled him. The local priest and our bishop has denied him this Sacrament because I refuse to go through the local CCD classes. You see, through the Seton Home Schooling Program ( Roman Catholic) that is based in Virginia I do not have to get my son hooked up with CCD because he has already take 2 plus years with Seton. Seton home schooling has prepared my son excellently and so I do not understand why the local priest and bishop will not even test him to see that he is ready. The phone calls I have been receiving from the bishops’ secretaries sound very much like all they want is my money. Their is no concern for my son just receiving this Sacrament. My son and I have just about given up hope. The Seton program also says that my son does not have to go through the local CCD class. All he has to do is be tested by the priest and the bishop to make sure that he is ready. But nobody is willing to do this. I tell you, this really sounds like a bunch of money hungry people. So, PLEASE, if anybody can help us with this problem, please let me know what I am missing.
Thank you and God Bless +
 
have you actually talked to the bishop or your pastor, or just to secretaries? there is no charge for confirmation so I don’t know where the money thing comes into play. Please begin with your pastor. If your son has not been in CCD he has no way of knowing your son or anything about him, or any way to assess his readiness.

The typical confirmation program is about a lot more than a class and passing a test. It is a great deal about discipleship and service, becoming an adult, participating, contributing member of a parish community and the wider Church. That is the reason for the strong encouragement on becoming part of a class with his peers. The community building exercises including retreats and service projects are part of the process. Any deficiencies in the catechetical component will be more than remedied by your Seton home study materials.

Please remember that he is completing his Christian initiation in a Church that is all about community, and participating in the community is part of the sacrament. He will gain enormously from the process. It will also help with something most homeschoolers tell me that they find a challenge–arranging peer group activities for their child.

by the way, participation with the sponsor in the Confirmation sessions is also a key part of the process. A prerequisite for reception of the Holy Spirit is docility and humility-teachableness-including obedience to legitimate Church authority, and that is one thing your son should be learning as well.
 
The bishop for some reason is unwilling to see us and I do not understand why. Our priest is adamant about my son joining the CCD class. I think what I best do right now is kind of explain what exactly is going on.Below are letters that I and my son have written. I deleted all names and address and phone numbers so it might read a little weird but you should be able to get the general idea. Thank you very much and God Bless! Wallie. My son has been an Altar Server for our Church for 7 plus years. He has been on the Student Council for 2 years. He has helped out with a family friend gather wood for the winter.He helped out the victims of Hurricane Katrina by making survival kits at his High School. He has given 220 cans of soups for the soup kitchens ( all with his own money ). And is now a Lector at our church. If any other information is needed, my son would be more than happy to give it to you. I am writting to let you know that I am very upset that the Bishop still has denied my son Confirmation!! When my son was in the ninth grade, he wrote to tell you that he had already received 2 plus years of CCD using our home schooling program. You told him that he had to wait until he was in the 10th grade before he could be Confirmed! That was last year! Our priest was and is still adamant about him joining the CCD class! It seems to make no difference to you people! Now, you tell me how I go about getting him on that list to be Confirmed! Sincerely, Sent: Monday, September 01, 2003 3:09 PM >> Date: Wednesday, August 20, 2003 11:40 AM Subject: Fw: Confirmation Dear ( 14 years old and in the 9th grade )and I am having difficulty receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation. My local priest is adamant about my participating in 2 years of CCD, which I know I do not need because I have been home schooled using the Seton Catholic Home Schooling based in Virginia Seton Home Study School, ). I have studied 2+ years of CCD using Seton and even they say that, through their curriculum, I am ready to receive Confirmation without CCD courses. I went over my local priests head and wrote to who runs the CCD courses for the diocese of Manchester. I figured I would get some satisfaction, but none was received. I do not have a response letter from her because she called me on the phone. According to I now have to wait till I am in the 10th grade to receive this Sacrament. Wednesday, August 20, 2003 1:40 PM Subject: RE: Confirmation , God bless you all. Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2003 8:43 AM To: Subject: Re I am in desperate need of assistance.Thank you and God Bless Date: Wednesday, August 06, 2003 5:04 PM Subject: RE: Confirmation Dear Below is a letter I have written to Father who is affiliated with Seton Home Schooling in Virginia. I have studied preparation for Confirmation for 2+ years studying for this Sacrament and I am being told that I still need to go through 2 years of C.C.D. I do not agree with this!! Seton Home Schooling has prepared me well for Confirmation. I know that I am 100% qualified to receive this Sacrament regardless of what my local priest has told me because Seton has also told me that taking their courses for Confirmation does not require me to take C.C.D courses in my local church!! If I do not get somebody’s full cooperation, I will go over your heads and write to ( or call ) in the Congregation for the Dicipline of the Sacraments in Vatican City, Rome. You are completely right. What you need is the Code of Canon Law.The priest has no right to refuse you confirmation if you are prepared. In that instance you have a right to the sacrament of Confirmation andhe only has the right to determine that you are, as a matter of fact, prepared. He, nor the bishop of the diocese, has the right to impose conditions on the reception of the sacraments that contravene the law of the universal Catholic Church. I suggest that you write to your bishop. If the bishop follows the same line I suggest that you write to The bishop might get a big surprise.One bishop of whom we know was commanded not only to confirm a young girl (who wasn’t old enough in his opinion) but was told to provide proof that he had done it.We must deal with these situations with as much patience and intelligence as we can muster. God bless and keep you. + Sent: Wednesday, August 06, 2003 9:59 AM Subject: FW: Confirmation Importance: High-Original Message-Sent: Tuesday, August 05, 2003 9:49 AM Subject: RE: Confirmation Importance: High August 05, 2003 To whom this may concern, I am having difficulty receiving the sacrament of Confirmation. I constantly tell my local priest that, according to the Seton curriculum, I am ready to receive this sacrament. But my priest keeps telling me that I must go through 2 years of CCD. I have even showed him the books that I read regarding confirmation and he is still adamant about me taking CCD. Is there something that I am missing? What should I do to convince him that I am well prepared?
 
I can’t read all that big bock of run on sentences. and even if I could I would remind you that humility, obedience and docility are the first requirement for the reception of the Holy Spirit. Please discuss with your son the meaning of participation in the Church, the Body of Christ, the Christian community. It is not a “me and God” experience. Please follow the directives of your pastor.

No one is denying your son Confirmation. They are asking that he comply with the same preparation and minimal standards as every other child in the parish.
 
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wallie:
Hi. I have a little problem that I hope somebody can help me with. I have been fighting to get my son Confirmed for just a little over 3 years just because I home schooled him. The local priest and our bishop has denied him this Sacrament because I refuse to go through the local CCD classes. You see, through the Seton Home Schooling Program ( Roman Catholic) that is based in Virginia I do not have to get my son hooked up with CCD because he has already take 2 plus years with Seton. Seton home schooling has prepared my son excellently and so I do not understand why the local priest and bishop will not even test him to see that he is ready. The phone calls I have been receiving from the bishops’ secretaries sound very much like all they want is my money. Their is no concern for my son just receiving this Sacrament. My son and I have just about given up hope. The Seton program also says that my son does not have to go through the local CCD class. All he has to do is be tested by the priest and the bishop to make sure that he is ready. But nobody is willing to do this. I tell you, this really sounds like a bunch of money hungry people. So, PLEASE, if anybody can help us with this problem, please let me know what I am missing.
Thank you and God Bless +
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I would suggest that you stop making phone calls and start writing letters begin with your parish DRE, then the pastor and include a copy of the DRE letter. Request a response in writing. I would also suggest that you speak with a Canon Lawyer. You really need to know and understand the requirements and your sons rights in Canon Law. Then the Office of FaithFormation at the diocese and include a copy of the first two letters and their responses and again request a written response. Request a copy of the Sacramental preparation guidelines from the diocese. Then the Bishop, then the Archbishop.
 
Why not enroll your son in CCD? Are you concerned that he will recieve improper teaching? You could sign up as a teacher and that way you could control what your son is exposed to. This is sounding like a power struggle to me.

edit - After re-reading your original post, my impression is that you seem to think that the home-school program you use takes precedence over your pastor or Bishop. I don’t care where the program comes from or that it is catholic, but your Bishop has the final word. I think that is a lesson you should be teaching your son.

Peace

Tim
 
Wallie,
We use Seton Home Schooling too. I have talked with our priest about the possibility of having our daughter confirmed earlier. He was very interested and we will continue discussing this later. She does attend the CCD classes (tho not for confirmation because that is not til the 11th & 12th grades here) because I am a catechist. So they know we have been doing what they want, them to attend CCD classes.
I am soo sorry you are having these problems. Br. Rich is right about talking to a cannon lawyer. Also, did you speak with Seton? This may sound drastic, but have you considered talking with another diocese, and confiming him there? After you have done what Br. Rich suggested, call Seton. It is not impossible. Be presistant. and PRAY 🙂
God Bless
 
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Orogeny:
Why not enroll your son in CCD? Are you concerned that he will recieve improper teaching? You could sign up as a teacher and that way you could control what your son is exposed to. This is sounding like a power struggle to me.

edit - After re-reading your original post, my impression is that you seem to think that the home-school program you use takes precedence over your pastor or Bishop. I don’t care where the program comes from or that it is catholic, but your Bishop has the final word. I think that is a lesson you should be teaching your son.

Peace

Tim
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To clarify:

I’m not taking sides here. There is no your right, they are wrong, in my answer. However there seems to be a disconnect with the basic understanding of the Church when in her documents she says that Parents are the primary teachers of their children. Parents are the ones who have the primary responsibility to prepare their children for reception of the Sacraments. Catechesis after Baptism is the parents repsonsibility, not the parishes. Preparation for First Confession, First Holy Communion, Confirmation, AND Marriage are all the parents responsibility. The Church should be there to help if help is needed. The Bishop pre Canon Law is responsible for making sure the Sacraments are available to those who ask for them and are properly disposed to receive them.
 
Br. Rich SFO:
To clarify:

I’m not taking sides here. There is no your right, they are wrong, in my answer. However there seems to be a disconnect with the basic understanding of the Church when in her documents she says that Parents are the primary teachers of their children. Parents are the ones who have the primary responsibility to prepare their children for reception of the Sacraments. Catechesis after Baptism is the parents repsonsibility, not the parishes. Preparation for First Confession, First Holy Communion, Confirmation, AND Marriage are all the parents responsibility. The Church should be there to help if help is needed. The Bishop pre Canon Law is responsible for making sure the Sacraments are available to those who ask for them and are properly disposed to receive them.
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Is it not up to the Bishop to decide if one is properly disposed?

Peace

Tim
 
If the case were to be pursued through a Tribunal case, using the Code of Canon Law, the following canons would be important:

“Canon 885.1 The diocesan Bishop is bound to ensure that the sacrament of confirmation is conferred upon his subjects who duly and reasonably request it.”

“Canon 777 In a special way the parish priest is to ensure, in accordance with the norms laid down by the diocesan Bishop that: … children are properly prepared for first confession and first holy communion, and for the sacrament of confirmation, by means of catechetical formation over an appropriate period of time.”

To succssfully bring a case against the priest it would need to be shown that he was not following the Bishop’s norms. So a letter to the bishop could help establish what these norms are.

Probably the issue is with the Bishop. It could be argued that he has not followed canon 885. He might respond that the request was unreasonable, because his norms for catechical formation were not followed.

I would expect that bringing a case against a bishop would be more expensive and complicated than bringing one against a priest.

Perhaps letters indicating that you are considering such a case would be enough to convince the priest or bishop that your son should be confirmed.

The issue of refusing the sacraments was discussed by John Huels in “More Disputed Questions in the Liturgy” (LTP, 1996, ISBN 1-56854-171-6, pages 33-59.)

An example of a tribunal case I brought against a priest is at romanrite.com/Tribunal.html
 
Call Seton. Tell them your problem, if you haven’t already. Make sure Seton understands that you are having these troubles because you are home educating him. They may have some ideas that you haven’t. If Seton gives you a rough way to go (not likely), ask specifically to talk with one of the Clarks on staff.

I had no trouble getting my son confirmed as a home educator, and this was well over 12 years ago. He did not attend CCD. He DID complete a service log, and wrote his own letter to the bishop. I did present the DRE with a copy of my Confirmation syllabus, along with the books I used (Loyola Press, among others). I have found when talking with DREs (who are very unappreciated IMOHO) and pastors regarding home education, to remember that they only know home education through us. They need to see it in as positive a light as possible by our behavior and example. Share your process, and try not to shoot down theirs. Bring your son in on this, esp. because he is old enough to participate.

It does help that in the Midwest, particularly the Chicago area, it seems that when it’s announced that a bishop will come calling in a parish for Confirmation, the parishes in that area hold a massive round-up of anybody of a certain age and beyond who has not yet been confirmed but has been baptized and received First Reconciliation/ Communion. The DRE then has the task of running people through the requisites within a 2-3 month time frame. The kids in the parish school and CCD usually have two years’ prep time, so the 2-3 months before the bishop’s arrival, they are having a retreat, finishing off little housekeeping tasks, and making the final selection of a confirmation patron.
 
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OutinChgoburbs:
Call Seton. Tell them your problem, if you haven’t already. Make sure Seton understands that you are having these troubles because you are home educating him. QUOTE]

Two things for the OP . . .
  1. I’d be careful about the advice you get from Seton. I’ve read things in their newsletters that seem off the mark. One newsletter (no, I don’t have a link and can’t prove it) pretty much said all parents have an obligation to homeschool. The Church teaches no such thing.
  2. Is it homeschooling per se that bothers the priest and bishop? Could there be some other reason? If your kids were in public school and you chose to do religious ed at home, would you be facing the same issues? If it is homeschooling they don’t like, is it Seton or all homeschooling they don’t like?
I would do everything in my power to cooperate w/ my pastor and bishop. They are not asking you to do something immoral. (when our kids went through Confirmation, we volunteered so we knew what they were being taught) —KCT
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KCT:
Two things for the OP . . .
  1. I’d be careful about the advice you get from Seton. I’ve read things in their newsletters that seem off the mark. One newsletter (no, I don’t have a link and can’t prove it) pretty much said all parents have an obligation to homeschool. The Church teaches no such thing.
  2. Is it homeschooling per se that bothers the priest and bishop? Could there be some other reason? If your kids were in public school and you chose to do religious ed at home, would you be facing the same issues? If it is homeschooling they don’t like, is it Seton or all homeschooling they don’t like?
I would do everything in my power to cooperate w/ my pastor and bishop. They are not asking you to do something immoral. (when our kids went through Confirmation, we volunteered so we knew what they were being taught) —KCT
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I can’t begin to imagine Seton saying all Catholic parents had the obligation to homeschool, esp. since they have an affiliation with Christendom College and Seton in Manassas. Seton usually promotes that Catholic parents are the first educators of their children, and as such, cannot fob off their education to any particular school and then turn around and blame said school for their kids’ problems. Nobody should be passing off their kids’ education to anybody, then complaining about the results, even if the kids go to public school, private school, home school, or a combination. This is why I suggested calling them. I am willing to bet they would be willing to act as go-between.

That said, number two on your list is very, very valid. That’s why I said the OP needs to watch *how *home education is presented. I was the sysop on a still popular ISP for years. I know the majority of home education families present themselves in such a way that people want to home educate; at least, people don’t drag it down as much. But I know a lot of that has to do with how people behave themselves in certain situations. It’s the same as being Catholic- one has to offer the good example.
 
KCT
I will only reitterate what has been said, we, as parents, have an obligation to educate our children. That is probably what you read. Some people can homeschool, some can’t. But I feel that our obligation is often downplayed and often neglected in many ways.
 
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Orogeny:
Is it not up to the Bishop to decide if one is properly disposed?

Peace

Tim
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Yes it is and they usually give this responsibility to the pastors to determine this for them. It “Seems” here however that the pastor is not denying access to Confirmation because the child is not catechized or not properly disposed. But because the child did not attend a parish class, or do a certain service project, which are not requirements of Canon Law for the reception of the Sacrament.

Now if the original poster had said we met with Fr. and he spoke with “John” at length and said that he didn’t have a basic knowledge of Catholic faith and practice. At this point it “looks like” the pastor is simply dismissing this because the child was not in the parish class.
 
Before I get lost in the workday world-

If for some reason you can’t get some assistance out of Seton, and you feel as if your resources are tapped regarding this matter, please contact the St. Joseph Foundation ASAP. It is an organization that helps Catholics defend their rights in the Church. Catholics do have certain rights, and this groups helps.

http://www.st-joseph-foundation.org/
 
My advice when writing formal letters is to make sure all spelling, grammar, and punctuation is correct. Formal letters with mistakes of that nature look unprofessional and not thought out, but rather quickly thrown together. I can also tell you were getting angrier and angrier as the letter went on. That, too, does not look professional. Keep cool and collected. Do not threaten. It makes you look unreasonable and like a hothead.
 
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