Creepy "memory" that is bothering my kid

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Allegra

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My son saw a photo on my facebook newsfeed of a little girl in a detention center, laying on the floor. When he saw it, he became upset and said that she was “lost” and asked where her family was. I didn’t really know what to say, because first of all, he’s three, and second of all, I have no idea if the child in the photo was with her family or not. I sort of threw something together about her family being forced to leave their home and now they were looking for a new home.
He then proceeded to tell me a story about when he was in “New Mexico” and how he was lost and couldn’t find his family and how he was so tired from how far he had to walk. I have no idea where he got this story from. Possibly he overheard something about migrant children on the radio in the car? However, he’s been talking about it since seeing that photo and he seems to be genuinely concerned about it. We’ve prayed for the “lost children” and we even donated some money to a legal fund that a friend of mine has been advertising for that’s supposed to be helping at the boarder. He continues to insist that this “lost in New Mexico” thing actually happened. (He has been to New Mexico, but he didn’t get out of the van except to snap a photo at the four corners and he was never lost.)

My mom says I had frequent “false memories” at the same age and that I spoke of in great detail and consistency about things I did “before coming over from the old country”. She said they eventually just went with it because I would become upset if they tried to tell me that it never happened and it was easier just to go along and change the subject. The only thing is, my son seems genuinely upset by this. Has anyone had a kid that has false memories that actually bothered them? Did you just ignore it until it went away? Assure him that those things didn’t happen, or at least weren’t going to happen to him or her? Go with it and let him talk about those “memories” as if they actually occurred? Also, how long does this go on for? To hear my mom talk, you’d think it went on for years, but I don’t even remember it myself.
 
What do you think this issue is then?

I think it is a 3 year old who is influenced by the politics of their parents. Like any other sponge of a child.

I’m not sure what the point of your post is.
Do you think the child was in New Mexico, do you think he is channeling a spirit? Do you think he is lying? Or do you think it is just an imagination?
 
I mean, I can’t really make an appointment to talk to him about just this. That’s just weird. My insurance would probably laugh at me.
 
I think it is in his imagination. I know my child was not lost in New Mexico. I’ve been accused of not paying enough attention to him, but he’s never made it that far away before without my noticing. I don’t believe in “channeling spirits”. I don’t think it’s a hallucination. I don’t think he’s lying. Maybe pretending, but there’s a difference, especially when he’s three. My point in posting is asking for experience on what the most effective way of handling it is.
 
Ok then it is a 3 year old imagining things.

No big deal…

Are you concerned?

I have a 3 year old who thinks she is a mermaid. It isn’t creepy. But she insists she has a fish tail…

As far as handling it you could limit the amount of propaganda you are exposing him to if you think he is struggling with these adult topics.
 
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My daughter told me of being lost in the woods with a bear and a wolf. And it was dark. We lived in a city she had never been anywhere lost with a bear or a wolf.

After a while of hearing this story, I understood what she meant. We were at a nature museum and she and I were visiting the section with bears and wolves. My husband took my son to another section. And we took a little while to meet up again.

He might be conflating two memories.one of visiting New Mexico and one of being “lost”. He might equate being lost to feeling afraid or lonely or without his parents for a longer time frame then usual.

Adding, he sounds like an empathetic little guy.
 
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Little ones have such profound imaginations, and do not yet know the line between reality and dreams. I’d not call it false memories, but, daydreams that bleed into real life.

For me it was the life of my imaginary friend 🙂 She had all sorts of adventures.

It is things like this which make us realize how little pitchers do have big ears, they pick up so much and grasp much more than some people realize. Such a big heart in that little guy ❤️❤️❤️
 
I didn’t intentionally expose him to it in the first place. It was in my facebook feed and he saw it when he was trying to get me to make him chocolate milk. Exposing him to disturbing photos isn’t really something I strive for. Is your daughter’s mermaid fantasy persistent? Does she stop pretending when it’s no longer appropriate?
 
Yeah, no kidding! I have to watch this one in particular because he picks up on written things as well as what you say. You can’t always get away with spelling things around him, because he knows how to spell N-A-P, D-O-C-T-O-R, and I-C-E C-R-E-A-M. When we try to spell things out, his sister turns to him and asks “What did they spell?” I was wondering how the heck he knew the story took place in New Mexico, but then I realized, it was probably in the bi-line. He recognizes most of the states names now.
 
Really?
You should have control over what a three year old sees on a screen. At all times.
Second you really didn’t understand the mermaid example?
 
Your guy is a kajillion times brigher than my dashchund and she has figured out “V-E-T”, “T-R-E-A-T”, she knows when the black bag is packed that “daddy” is going away to the hospital and she gets all weird. Just imagine what goes on inside the mind and imagination of a bright toddler!!

When I was a kid, back before the earth cooled, I was involved in a big medical study that went on for years. Going for various doc appointments was common place.

One day, I was 5, this was in the late 60’s so no internet or such, we were waiting to see a doc at the testing clinic. There were curtains between each exam area (hippa did not exist).

I heard a child crying in another exam area.

I began saying “oh, poor baby, are you crying because you at the doctor? Are you going to have an operation? Are you going to have a hysterectomy?”

My mother almost fainted. It was the only official name of a surgery I knew, I’d picked up from listening in on adult conversations.
 
Sometimes things like that happen. I saw a minute of a horror film when I was little. My parents were watching tv and I got out of bed for whatever reason. I remember being scared.

Just reassure him that he’s safe. That you’re trying to help the scenario is good.
 
🤣😅🤣

My parents weren’t very careful with TV. We didn’t have cable so it was network TV back in 70’s. I must have overheard Maude and I wondered what a vasectomy was.
 
I understand that you are saying that it’s normal for kids to pretend. What I’m asking is what is the best way to handle when a child persists in imagining something that bothers him. If you can’t get past your political bias, maybe imagine that he is insisting that there is an enraged alligator under the bed. He continues to be concerned about being eaten, or at least frightened. What is the best way to address the issue.
 
With nightmares, we did a can of cheap air freshener that was “monster in the closet spray”.

Sometimes Fantasy is the best weapon against dreams.

Maybe continue the story with him where the little boy finds a happy home.

Others go more spiritual.

I know people who do a Holy Water sprinkle before bed and the kids know Holy Water keeps the bad dreams away.

Glow in the dark rosaries are a tool some parents use.

A friend of mine lit one of those Saints candles every night with her kids.
 
We didn’t watch much TV, but my great aunt Mary was the sax player for a band called Rock House Annie and the M&M girls. They sang all kinds of bawdy innuendo. My parents thought it was hilarious when I sang it because I had no idea what it meant. I sang it loud and proud because it seemed to make everyone so happy. Except my 1st grade teacher. Here’s a sample for your enjoyment. Make sure your kids aren’t in the room, Hoosier Daddy!

 
Oooh! I like the idea of finishing the story! I bet that would work!
 
I think it is your bias that is obvious here. I dont have a dog in the fight. But your child is probably picking up on your worldview which is what every child does…

Again, the best way to address the issue is to limit the adult propoganda your child is exposed to that may be beyond his ability to understand and perhaps seek the advice of a doctor if you think there is an unhealthy mental component here.

I’m not at all sure what your issue is beyond this. If you are concerned, limit his exposure and seek mental help. If you are not concerned just let it be.
 
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