Crying at Mass - grieving

[My2kids]

My mom, who made mass an important part of her life, died in Jan 2018. Ever since then I struggle to get to mass. I have gone a few times and always cry. Even the several times I have gone into church for my daughter’s confirmation class I tear up. It’s very embarrassing and frustrating. I talked to a priest a about my grief and felt much better afterwards but still cry at mass. My daughter wants to attend mass but it makes me so uneasy I avoid going. Any suggestions?

 

[Dlee]

My prayers are with you. I would say keep in contact with your priest and keep attending Mass. It’s obvious that you are feeling close to your mother when you are there. Don’t ever be embarrassed for your tears. Jesus tells us that those who persevere and remain faithful will be with Him.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

My husband died just about a year ago. Before he died, we had four other immediate/ close family members die in the year before he did and my own mother had died a year before that. I have also had several friends die recently at young ages. I cry in church frequently. Also in confession (I’ve had that problem off and on since I was 14 and it is one reason I didn’t used to like going to confession and quit going for 18 years).
My own mother used to cry after communion because she missed her own parents and other family members who’d died.

I don’t have any advice for you other than I think this is pretty common. Take a lot of kleenex and if necessary sit in the back. Don’t let it drive you from Mass. Like I said a lot of us have this problem. I’ve read in a Catholic booklet on grief that our loved ones are closer to us at Mass and when we receive Eucharist than at any other time because Jesus is the bridge that connects us to the world they are living in now.

 

[Hoosier-Daddy]

I don’t suffer the same affliction at Mass but I’ve seen it and I understand it. Dont be embarrassed. If I ever see someone crying at Mass I feel nothing but compassion. I dont need to know what it is, but I pray for that person. Sometimes it isn’t sadness but emotional beauty. I dont presume to know what’s going on I just accept it as a person who is the body of Christ. Please go to Mass. There is no better place than being in the arms of your Father. And there was plenty of crying and morning at the foot of the cross.

 

[Allegra]

It isn’t that uncommon for people to cry at Mass for any number of reasons. Just take some tissues along. I’m presuming when you say “crying”, you just mean tears and not sobbing loudly or some sort of activity that would disturb others. I’ve cried both happy and sad tears. I’ve seen members of our parish crying during favorite songs or readings. It’s really common and not a problem. I suspect that just going to Mass, enjoying it, and letting yourself grieve in your own way is probably quite healthy.

 

[bmaj]

I totally agree with the responses above, My2kids. I also often cried during Mass after my parents passed away, especially during the parts of the Mass where the Priest or reader mentioned praying for the deceased. Sometimes I still get teary eyed - and this is many years later. I’ve also seen others in tears and have felt nothing but compassion for them. I try to say an extra prayer for them and whatever difficulty they may be going through. I think it’s likely a fairly common occurrence, so try not to feel embarrassed or have it keep you from attending the most beautiful celebration of our Lord’s love and care for us. He wants to be near you and a part of you always - and console you in every possible way He can!

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

I’m so sorry for your loss
It feels funny to cry at Mass, but probably people don’t notice, or they just give you your space.
ray:t2:ray:t2:ray:t2: For your mother and your family.

 

[DeniseNY]

I’m very sorry for your loss. I lost my mother in August 2012, and at liturgies commemorating her birthday and day of passing, I still cry. Or there could be something in the readings or in the homily that makes me think of my mom, and I cry then too. I still feel kind of embarrassed by it, but talking to my pastor helped me.