Did I do the right thing?

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Maria3m

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My mom told me she’s not going to Mass tomorrow morning because she needs to cook for Christmas Eve. However, she would meet me at church for Christmas service at 6 p.m.

After we got off the phone I thought about it and called her back to tell her to come to the morning Mass or she can’t receive Holy Communion. Skip the evening service and I’d join her Monday morning (Christmas Day) for Mass.

Sounds like she’s not going to any Mass now. 😦

She receives all the time w/o confession…she came back to the church after 30+ years, receives, but has not been to confession yet. I’ve always wanted to say something, but didn’t know how.

I just felt led that this was the time to say something.

Should I have shut my mouth about not being able to receive Christmas Eve if she skipped Sunday morning Mass? :o
 
Maria3m said:
My mom told me she’s not going to Mass tomorrow morning because she needs to cook for Christmas Eve. However, she would meet me at church for Christmas service at 6 p.m.

After we got off the phone I thought about it and called her back to tell her to come to the morning Mass or she can’t receive Holy Communion. Skip the evening service and I’d join her Monday morning (Christmas Day) for Mass.

Sounds like she’s not going to any Mass now. 😦

She receives all the time w/o confession…she came back to the church after 30+ years, receives, but has not been to confession yet. I’ve always wanted to say something, but didn’t know how.

I just felt led that this was the time to say something.

Should I have shut my mouth about not being able to receive Christmas Eve if she skipped Sunday morning Mass? :o
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Oh boy:( doing the right thing is never easy. Even if you said it in the most charitable way possible, it must have been hard to be told what to do by her daughter.
You know your mom best. Can you reopen the topic, or will she be really upset for awhile?
If you think it will make a difference, beg her to come to mass with you. Apologize for hurting her feelings, but then go on to explain how concerned you are for her soul and how much you love her. Tell her you appreciate all the work she does in preparation for Christmas, but that you want to be with her in heaven someday.
Good luck… it’s never easy to have a disagreement with mom, but it is even harder during the holidays.
malia
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**If you think it will make a difference, beg her to come to mass with you. Apologize for hurting her feelings, but then go on to explain how concerned you are for her soul and how much you love her. Tell her you appreciate all the work she does in preparation for Christmas, but that you want to be with her in heaven someday. **

This sounds very good. It’s absolutely the truth…I’m sorry if it hurt her. I wasn’t trying to. It didn’t come out like I wrote in my OP. It wasn’t either go or you can’t receive. I said it like she knew missing Mass without serious reason would prevent her from receiving. Kinda offering a solution (to something she didn’t see as a problem. :o )
Plus, what you wrote about being concerned for her soul is also why i did it.

Everything you wrote, Malia, is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much. I need to return something to her tonight any way…so I will gently bring up her coming in the morning to Mass with us.

Thank you and Merry Christmas!
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Maria3m said:
Thank you and Merry Christmas!
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Merry Christmas to you too!
**I find myself in disagreements with my own mom more than I would like. Most of the time the problem stems from me being a Catholic (convert) and her not really following any religion. **
I try to bring things up to her when they bother me and I worry about her eternal state, but I often end up sounding “holier-than-thou”😦 which is the exact opposite way I intended to come across.
**It is a terrible feeling to know you have hurt someone, but it hurts more when it’s your own mom. **
Good luck with your mom and I hope she sees what a wonderful, caring, loving daughter she raised!
God bless,
Malia
 
I think the best and kindest thing to do is to casually mention that you’ll be going to comfession and invite her to come with you. That way you’re not accusing her of anything, but you’re still doing the right thing.

Staci
 
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