For those (un)married: When did you know you were called to marriage or not

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Background: I’m a 22 yo male. I’ve never dated and really don’t have an interest now. There was a time back in high school I felt at least a couple nudges over the friendline with but I never asked really asked about it nor did she. And when I think about marriage, I wonder if I’d even be a good husband or father. Not to mention the single life is kind of attractive. At the same time I know more life experiences can change views on the matter which leads to the question.

If you’re married, when did you know you were called to it? And if you’re single by choice, when did you know you were called to the single life?

(And since it seems the question everyone asks a young male Catholic [especially a young male single Catholic is if he’s though about becoming a priest, I’ll just answer now that I don’t think I’m cut out for it. [And because the internet has a hard time conveying tone, these sentences are written in a light-hearted manner.])
 
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I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was a kid. It’s like it was just part of me.
 
It’s not like it’s single/married/priest

There are monks and friars, too!
 
I knew that I should be married to be happy. There was not reasons for it–just this.
 
All my friends and my mom think I’d be better off married. So that’s how I knew
 
I wish I could give you a helpful response but honestly, I just imagine myself with my own family. In a relationship. With a couple of cute kids.

At the same time, I’m aware that my desire for a family now does not mean that I’m called to marriage. So meh, I don’t know. I don’t think you need to find a clear answer at this age. If you don’t find marriage appealing now, then you got your “temporary answer”.
 
Hi.
God let us free to choose what we want. Only he advise us to make a reasonnable choice. If you want to maried and you think that your choice is reasonnable then you have done the Will of God. There is not " a mysterious call" of God, The will of God, is contain in his commandments, his advices and our choice must be reasonnably in accordance with commandments and advices of God.
We notice that commandments and advice of God are well know since they are contained in the teachings of Christ
 
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The dental tech and I were discussing this yesterday. I had all kinds of plans to become a religious someday. Even looked into and was living eremitism when the abuse I suffered as a child came crashing down on me. I entered counseling, and Lent rolled around. I entered the church for the 6 pm Mass, and saw a young soldier kneeling in prayer. Then my spiritual director came in – he had the Mass – and spoke with him, asking if things had improved.

Come to find out he was bunking at a mutual friend’s house, and a fairly recent convert to Christianity then Catholicism. When I met up with them in the church parking lot, the “You’re just too good to be true” was a real experience for me. I thought I had met an angel. There is such a thing as the “soul tug”, as well. I had been making a novena to St. Raphael the Archangel. My counselor said that whatever came out of our sessions would be what was best for me (she was Catholic, too).

After Stations one Friday, I was having a particularly hard time, and asked his mutual friend, her brother, and another friend to go to McDonald’s. Future hubby was with them, too. They were seriously delayed in arriving due to being nabbed as godparents for a baptism. Once we were at the restaurant, we were enjoying our food when we had a minor Pentecost. The mutual friend would end up being my Maid-of-Honor, with her brother and the other woman as lectors. My colors where maroon and white for the great matchmaker archangel. Time? Six months. Our diocese had a four-month waiting period. Hubby had also been called up for Gulf War I, and we had asked for a dispensation.

Just as religious or priests know they’ve arrived home when they step on the grounds of the convent or seminary, you’ll know when you’ve met your mate. Whenever the spouse has to travel, or they are away for whatever reason, your living like a religious is necessary for the sake of the marriage.

Blessings,
Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
 
Things change.

When I was younger, I didn’t want anything to do with marriage or kids. Now I’d love a wife and a bunch of kids.

I’d say keep an open mind and seek God in the mean time.
 
I considered becoming a priest, but being female kinda shot that idea in the foot.

I met a guy I could see myself being married to. Finally I decided marriage would be a better life than the one I’d been living, so we got married.

I had a great deal of trepidation about the whole marriage thing and the expectations that some people (not my husband - I mean other family members and society) seemed to place on married people. My husband had no expectations beyond us just living responsible lives and spending time with each other.

Marriage isn’t about crushes or attraction, it’s about a love that endures. If there was no sacrament of marriage or institution of marriage, my husband and I would probably just be a couple of cave people living happily in our cave because I like to be around him and vice versa. if I wasn’t religious, we’d probably be like the couple in Joni Mitchell’s “My Old Man” song, which reminds me of us anyway.
 
Fascinating story, thanks for sharing.

I didn’t know that white and maroon are associated with Saint Raphael.
 
I had a ‘mysterious call’ towards actions that were oriented towards procreation.
 
Religious life is fecund with souls. I’m beginning to notice a trend that those desirous of marriage actually have a call to religious life, and those desirous of religious life end up married. To be a religious is to be a spiritual mother or father. To have the detachment and devotion of the religious life is important when married and raising kids.
 
In all of the artwork I’ve seen, blue is for St. Michael; gold for St. Gabriel; and maroon for St. Raphael.

One of my sisters in the Dominican laity ran pro-life counseling centers in Louisville, KY, and she had to move a huge TV one day. She thought, off-the-cuff, it would be great if the three archangels would come and help. She looked up, and three young men in blue, tan, and maroon business suits stood there. One of them made a move to pick up the TV. When she offered to help, he said he did this all the time. When the TV was in her car, she looked up again, and they were gone. I can’t remember her exact words, but she said they looked just like we depict them in art.
 
I never really imagined myself being married or having kids, and I never understood my peers in high school who couldn’t wait to be married and be mothers. I couldn’t understand it at all and I felt nothing with regards to that. I had crushes on guys and wanted to date because it looked fun, but not really because I wanted a family.

I toyed with the idea of religious life (my aunt is a nun, so that helped), but ultimately didn’t go down that path. I realized this when I was spending a summer volunteering at my aunt’s monastery before my last year of college and I was in morning prayer with the sisters. I was feeling a lot of peace in the moment, and thought that it would be so much easier and better to join the monastery where it was peaceful all the time and one would be free from the concerns and problems of the world. But as soon as I thought that, I realized it was an error and that I really shouldn’t look at religious life as an escape from something else (the world’s problems, difficulty finding spouse, etc.).

I had a somewhat serious boyfriend in the first half of my college years that opened me up to marriage. After graduating from college, I tried meeting people but didn’t have a lot of success. I was eventually introduced to my future husband through a mutual priest friend. We started dating and it just felt differently. By meeting the right person, I finally could imagine myself being married and having kids. We were married last July and our first child is due this June.

If you had asked me even five years ago, at the age of 21, whether I could see myself married with kids, I probably would have said “maybe” at best. It’s amazing how fast those feelings can change!
 
I had many girlfriends, but also went to seminary for a time to be a priest. I started studying for the priesthood a second time when I met my wife. We were something else, she was like another me, yet complemented me in ways I knew was just destiny/ providence. It was kind of surreal and I couldn’t have planned for it, it just happened.

Now we have two beautiful children.

You’ll find your vocation, I’ll pray for you!
 
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I think I have always known that I have no desire to be married.
 
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