Funeral Mass for a relative

[grotto]

Here is the question: What’s the guideline/rule about after being cremated, the family holds the Mass for the Dead 8 months later? Its seems that would not be loving respect - its for a Mother - adult children & families all live in the US - the travel money is not a problem. They have planned for meeting up with three day activities like - mountain biking, golf outing, games, meals, etc. One even referred to the “event” as a "(name) Fest.
It’s not “nice” to ask the question as it reveals a disapproval; is it okay within our Catholic practice?
If a deceased person’s remains were discovered months later, it would not be questionable - this instance seems so disrespectful. Perhaps a family member never consulted with the Priest when the Last Rites were received - so they just did not understand.

 

[QwertyGirl]

For many families, what you’re described isn’t unusual.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

First, I’d say this is probably not the business of anybody but the children of the deceased at this point. For all you know, their mom wanted to be remembered with such a family “Fest”. I personally would like it if people had a nice party when I died instead of all moping around being morose.

Second, if their parish priest has permitted them to have the Mass for the Dead 8 months later, perhaps due to circumstances that you again likely don’t know all about (grief, other family circumstances or commitments, or even the mother’s wish to have a “Fest”) then the priest has obviously decided it’s okay with “Catholic practice”. I have seen people having delayed Masses for the Dead in the past. In most cases I don’t know all the circumstances as to why the Mass was delayed. In one case it was a relative and the reason for a delay of several months was that first, it took time for the cremains to come back from wherever the body was sent for cremation; second, the surviving spouse was grieving and needed some time before the Mass and interment; third, the Mass and interment were to be held many states away from where the deceased was living at the time of their death, and it took time to get all the arrangements made and scheduled, especially since this was a military burial and there were various ceremonies honoring the deceased as a veteran at the military cemetery.

 

[grotto]

Thanks for the responses. These are not the old days - I have to keep reminding myself of that.

 

[TheLittleLady]

This sort of thing happens not infrequently. In my experience the priest is thrilled that the family is finally going to allow the funeral mass. The Church is very gentle when dealing with grieving families.