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NPS
Guest
You’re excited about your faith, you know lots more than you used to and are learning more all the time. You found this fantastic website with all kinds of great Catholic resources.
They even have a message board! Why not get into some discussions? Tons of knowledgable Catholics on board and even some non-Catholics hanging around. Except you get in a thread or two and it’s as if you are in a different world…
1-Everything in the bible is absolutely clear and all you will ever need.
Forget all this debating about what this passage or that passage means. Forget that there are tens of thousands of churches claiming to know the truth. Forget all the traditions Protestants have put in place. Why get bogged down in all that stuff?
All you need to know is that the Catholic Church is wrong.
**2-Sola Scriptura is like water. ** You can’t catch it. You can’t trap it. It means everything. It means nothing. It means everything in-between. The definition of Sola Scriptura is obvious–and it isn’t. Proponents of S.S. cannot believe that you do not see the basic, simple truth behind S.S. They will paste bible passages that obviously directly mean Sola Scriptura to everyone in the world except the people who happen to be reading that thread. You will literally work for page after page to try to put Sola Scriptura into a specific position or corner----and whooosh—it’s gone. You can’t trap water in a corner. This is why we have a one-thousand post Sola Scriptura thread that never begins to answer the question.
3-You’re not Christian. Well, you sort of are a Christian or there is a possibility that you are a Christian, but you’re not a True Christian. You have been deceived by man, and worse…deceived by a man-made monstrosity designed to turn True Christians away from God.
4-History matters not at all—We’ll make up our own, thank you. Doesn’t matter what anyone, anywhere in the history of Christianity has done, said, practiced, believed. Most of that stuff is made up by the Catholic Church. There were True Christians since the beginnning, quite obviously being oppressed by the Catholic Church.
5-The bible fell from the sky Okay, it didn’t fall from the sky, but it was always there. The Catholic Church had nothing to do with it, except for hiding it and hording it from True Christians. If you pin them down on it the explanation of the actual making of the bible will read something like this:_________ ___________________________________________________________________________________.
6-Bible Amnesia These literalists of the bible will somehow not be able to see how anyone can get the Primacy of Peter or the Real Presence out of passages in the bible. It also doesn’t faze them whatsoever that after 1500 years of use the bible could be sliced and diced to fit a preconceived Protestant notion of what “should” be in the bible.
7-Why do you believe the Pope has magic powers?
You must be stupid.
8-You worship Mary. The conversation will go something like this: True Christian–“You Catholics worship Mary”.
Roman Catholic–“No we don’t”. TC–“Yes you do. Why do you do that?” RC-“Uh, we do not worship Mary. Never have, never will. We honor Mary.” TC–“So you admit you worship Mary?” followed by a cut & paste from an anti-Catholic or pseudo-historical website showing either a) a quote from an anti-Catholic source or b) a nut-job theory of the Secret Catholic-Pagan Connection.
9-Catholics know nothing about the bible. True Christians know the bible—you don’t. Pasting bibilical proof-texts without context or understanding of the historical situation whatsoever means that you know the bible. If you really want to show you know the bible, link one of the words in the biblical passage to another website. Well, you would do it if you could, but you don’t know the bible.
10-P.P.P. Purgatory, Priests, Pain. These subjects are very handy when you find yourself in a jam. Especially, say, when you are pinned in a corner about Sola Scriptura. If Catholics are hot on your trail—do not despair! These magic bullets are always right there for you to use. Guaranteed to get you out of almost any situation. Mentioning purgatory is good for at least six or eight posts of wiggle room. Saying “Priests molest children” works wonders—at the very least it gets Catholics to back off a bit. “Pain” is for the Inquisition and related “crimes” [can’t you just feel Catholics backing away?] This method is best used with zero historical context at all. Just throw out numbers—nobody needs to know what’s true or not “The Catholic Church murdered and persecuted 580,000 people in the spring of 1417. Are you trying to justify that???”
These are just some simple things you can learn from the last week or so here defending Catholicism. I’m sure others have tips as well.
They even have a message board! Why not get into some discussions? Tons of knowledgable Catholics on board and even some non-Catholics hanging around. Except you get in a thread or two and it’s as if you are in a different world…
1-Everything in the bible is absolutely clear and all you will ever need.
Forget all this debating about what this passage or that passage means. Forget that there are tens of thousands of churches claiming to know the truth. Forget all the traditions Protestants have put in place. Why get bogged down in all that stuff?
All you need to know is that the Catholic Church is wrong.
**2-Sola Scriptura is like water. ** You can’t catch it. You can’t trap it. It means everything. It means nothing. It means everything in-between. The definition of Sola Scriptura is obvious–and it isn’t. Proponents of S.S. cannot believe that you do not see the basic, simple truth behind S.S. They will paste bible passages that obviously directly mean Sola Scriptura to everyone in the world except the people who happen to be reading that thread. You will literally work for page after page to try to put Sola Scriptura into a specific position or corner----and whooosh—it’s gone. You can’t trap water in a corner. This is why we have a one-thousand post Sola Scriptura thread that never begins to answer the question.
3-You’re not Christian. Well, you sort of are a Christian or there is a possibility that you are a Christian, but you’re not a True Christian. You have been deceived by man, and worse…deceived by a man-made monstrosity designed to turn True Christians away from God.
4-History matters not at all—We’ll make up our own, thank you. Doesn’t matter what anyone, anywhere in the history of Christianity has done, said, practiced, believed. Most of that stuff is made up by the Catholic Church. There were True Christians since the beginnning, quite obviously being oppressed by the Catholic Church.
5-The bible fell from the sky Okay, it didn’t fall from the sky, but it was always there. The Catholic Church had nothing to do with it, except for hiding it and hording it from True Christians. If you pin them down on it the explanation of the actual making of the bible will read something like this:_________ ___________________________________________________________________________________.
6-Bible Amnesia These literalists of the bible will somehow not be able to see how anyone can get the Primacy of Peter or the Real Presence out of passages in the bible. It also doesn’t faze them whatsoever that after 1500 years of use the bible could be sliced and diced to fit a preconceived Protestant notion of what “should” be in the bible.
7-Why do you believe the Pope has magic powers?
You must be stupid.
8-You worship Mary. The conversation will go something like this: True Christian–“You Catholics worship Mary”.
Roman Catholic–“No we don’t”. TC–“Yes you do. Why do you do that?” RC-“Uh, we do not worship Mary. Never have, never will. We honor Mary.” TC–“So you admit you worship Mary?” followed by a cut & paste from an anti-Catholic or pseudo-historical website showing either a) a quote from an anti-Catholic source or b) a nut-job theory of the Secret Catholic-Pagan Connection.
9-Catholics know nothing about the bible. True Christians know the bible—you don’t. Pasting bibilical proof-texts without context or understanding of the historical situation whatsoever means that you know the bible. If you really want to show you know the bible, link one of the words in the biblical passage to another website. Well, you would do it if you could, but you don’t know the bible.
10-P.P.P. Purgatory, Priests, Pain. These subjects are very handy when you find yourself in a jam. Especially, say, when you are pinned in a corner about Sola Scriptura. If Catholics are hot on your trail—do not despair! These magic bullets are always right there for you to use. Guaranteed to get you out of almost any situation. Mentioning purgatory is good for at least six or eight posts of wiggle room. Saying “Priests molest children” works wonders—at the very least it gets Catholics to back off a bit. “Pain” is for the Inquisition and related “crimes” [can’t you just feel Catholics backing away?] This method is best used with zero historical context at all. Just throw out numbers—nobody needs to know what’s true or not “The Catholic Church murdered and persecuted 580,000 people in the spring of 1417. Are you trying to justify that???”
These are just some simple things you can learn from the last week or so here defending Catholicism. I’m sure others have tips as well.
That is hysterical and so true! Also be on the lookout for someone who says they went to Catholic “services” instead of Mass. Another dead givaway about a supposed former Catholic 
) athiests who, of course, “have studied the bible cover-to-cover” and have “looked deeply into Christianity before deciding it was all religious mind-control bull____.”—You can’t fake that stuff, at least not well. You can’t fake that you’ve studied the bible extensively. You can’t fake that you know all about Catholicism. It’s like me acting as if I’ve been in the military. One guy or gal comes along and throws all those acronyms at me and I’m toast—I’ll have no idea what he’s talking about. Same with the “Catholics” as MM said from “back at St. Isis” 
--it ain’t happenin’ man. A lot of those people do that out of the goodness of their heart, though. They think that YOU as a Catholic are not “saved” and if they have to do a little subterfuge to save you—they will.
