Have been asked to be godmother

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Brendea

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Recently I have been asked to be god mother for a friends son.
Normally I would say yes, However I am being hesitant on this occasion.
  1. This friend does not have her child in her care and is currently trying to get him back
  2. This friends child wants to learn about God and start going to church she has told him if he wants to go to any church it has to be the catholic one beacuse me or her half brothers or another friend can take him
  3. This friend refuses to go to church herself and is not catholic and has no intention of learning about God or the church
  4. Her brothers and other friend who will happily take him to church lives an hour away
  5. She won’t bring him up catholic she moans about my home alter being out there and in your face ( tucked away in a corner of our living room) and looked rather annoyed when I suggested to my husband we could buy her son a bible for easter ( apparently he doesn’t need a bible)
    I am beginning to wonder why she is even considering getting her 11 year old baptised if And when she gets him back I am more than happy to take him to church with me but if it’s something she does not believe in and something she will not participate in or something she does not want in her house why tell him if he wants to go to church he has to go to the catholic one and be baptised catholic
    Am very confused and don’t know what to do
    Advise will be very much appreciated
 
Brendea said:
Recently I have been asked to be god mother for a friends son.
Normally I would say yes, However I am being hesitant on this occasion.
  1. This friend does not have her child in her care and is currently trying to get him back
  2. This friends child wants to learn about God and start going to church she has told him if he wants to go to any church it has to be the catholic one beacuse me or her half brothers or another friend can take him
  3. This friend refuses to go to church herself and is not catholic and has no intention of learning about God or the church
  4. Her brothers and other friend who will happily take him to church lives an hour away
  5. She won’t bring him up catholic she moans about my home alter being out there and in your face ( tucked away in a corner of our living room) and looked rather annoyed when I suggested to my husband we could buy her son a bible for easter ( apparently he doesn’t need a bible)
    I am beginning to wonder why she is even considering getting her 11 year old baptised if And when she gets him back I am more than happy to take him to church with me but if it’s something she does not believe in and something she will not participate in or something she does not want in her house why tell him if he wants to go to church he has to go to the catholic one and be baptised catholic
    Am very confused and don’t know what to do
    Advise will be very much appreciated
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If she can get a Priest to baptize the child, and gets custody I would agree. He will need Catholic role models/ instruction, and you can provide it.
 
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I don’t have a problem helping him or being a role model nor do I mind taking him to church ( that’s not the problem)
It’s her overall attitude about it.
I truly believe for him to actually learn and participate that she needs to be open about it being in her house ie Grace before meals and allowing him to actually have a bible
 
Her attitude was that’s why she wants me to be God mother so he can come to my house and do all this stuff
 
Brendea said:
I don’t have a problem helping him or being a role model nor do I mind taking him to church ( that’s not the problem)
It’s her overall attitude about it.
I truly believe for him to actually learn and participate that she needs to be open about it being in her house ie Grace before meals and allowing him to actually have a bible
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I understand,. If I was a priest and we were talking about a child under the age of reason I would defer

Would she be receptive to him owning a Bible if the request came from him?

Would she allow him to say Grace to himself? Really what I’m wondering is if her attitude is I’m not going to join in grace but don’t mind what he does or is it more of a no religion in my house attitude?

The fact that she has thought through him getting to Mass implies the former to me but I could be wrong.

11 is above the age of reason so there will need to be instruction before baptism.
 
Part of it is him wanting to learn about God hes had an interest in church for sometime now and I think the catholic baptism thing is partly beacuse she wants him going to a catholic high school im just under 2 years time ( a much better education in this country however not easy to get into of your not a baptized catholic)
 
Is she asking you to be a cultural “Godmother” or to be her child’s Baptismal sponsor (colloquially known as Godparent)?

If it is baptismal sponsor, the priest is not going to baptize a child where there is not a well founded hope he will be brought up Catholic. As she is not Catholic, unless dad is Catholic, priest will not baptize.

This being the case, she means “Godmother” in the secular sense. You give the child gifts, are his custodian if both parents die, etc.
 
TheLittleLady said:
If it is baptismal sponsor, the priest is not going to baptize a child where there is not a well founded hope he will be brought up Catholic. As she is not Catholic, unless dad is Catholic, priest will not baptize.
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For a child above the age of reason I don’t think that would apply.
 
She means baptismal sponser
I don’t know anything about the child’s father he left when the child was little and has been a single mum ever since and as the child is above the age of reason then it’s really up to the child and not her ( especially since she doesn’t have custody of him right now) I am wondering if I’m best to just wait until she gets him back through the courts and actually find out from him what he wants
 
I would be more than hesitant myself…

Anyway, I think you should have a talk with her, and if possible have a meeting with her, her son and a priest for them to have the accurate conception of what “baptism” is and involve.
 
Brendea said:
She won’t bring him up catholic
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I would be pretty hesitant about this myself. If the child’s parent has no intention of raising him in the Catholic Faith, then you as the godparent assumes responsibility for his religious upbringing. I would be hesitant to take on that responsibility with no support from the parents.
 
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The pastor will still not baptize a minor without the parent(s) agreeing to the baptism, and without the child attending a year or two of catechesis. We have had non-Catholic parents with kids of all ages ask to be baptized. It is determined on a one on one basis and always with the understanding that the parent will take the child to Mass, etc. until they are old enough to drive themselves.

I am guessing this mom has not had a meeting with her pastor about this.
 
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