Help! Having issues!

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Poprox

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I am not Catholic, but I grew up with values instilled in me (my mother is Mormon and I have been exploring Catholicism), that has caused me to be called “gay”. For example, I won’t drink, smoke, have sex, or talk like an ignoramus. What I am trying to get to is this: these people are jealous of my being able to control my hormones right? It makes me sad to see the degradation of today’s society, and they take it out on those who yield to a higher power. Thank you for listening.
 
Hello! And welcome to the board! When we try to follow the higher road, do what we know is right, we often go against what our society says is acceptable behavior. Those around us are made uncomfortable by this and try to force us to conform to their norms. Keep strong! Know that there are many of us who support you in your struggle. 👍

Peace,
Linda
 
I would encourage you to keep to your moral values. It will lead you down the right road to your future. As in the previous post, it is only jealousy that makes other say what they do. I have 4 children of my own who have followed the same difficult path that you are, and they are finding it worth the struggle. They are 21, 19, 18, and 16. So keep on plugging there are plenty of us praying for you.
 
You are a light to these people. Over time your courage and and expressions of the truth will be given grudging respect. Let your critics know why you believe your values are important, and that you practice self control in response the Lord. St. Francis of Assisi would preach not with words but with his life style and good deeds. Keep up the good fight 👍
 
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Poprox:
I am not Catholic, but I grew up with values instilled in me (my mother is Mormon and I have been exploring Catholicism), that has caused me to be called “gay”. For example, I won’t drink, smoke, have sex, or talk like an ignoramus. What I am trying to get to is this: these people are jealous of my being able to control my hormones right? It makes me sad to see the degradation of today’s society, and they take it out on those who yield to a higher power. Thank you for listening.
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Thirty years ago we would have considered you perfectly normal and that those other people had issues…times have changed.
 
When we, by our example, conduct ourselves in a moral and upright manner, our behavior threatens others who rationalize that their behavior is “normal” or at least “typical” of the majority. I have seen this over and over. It is reverse peer pressure. I believe that your peers don’t like those pangs of conscience that they feel when they measure themselves against you and find themselves falling short. There are no pangs of conscience when everybody else is behaving the same or worse than they are.

Get used to being different, because you are, in a very good way. You can (and should) surround yourself with friends whose values you share. But you can’t (and shouldn’t) divorce yourself entirely from the other half of society–because you never know how God is using you to show others that they are called to better. I say get used to it, because you will see it in all phases of your life. Presumably you are a young adult now, but when you marry and have children, you will have similar experiences. In my experience, it does however get easier–especially when you find a spouse who shares your values.

Good luck and God bless you. It sounds like you are on the right road.
 
La Chiara:
When we, by our example, conduct ourselves in a moral and upright manner, our behavior threatens others who rationalize that their behavior is “normal” or at least “typical” of the majority. I have seen this over and over. It is reverse peer pressure. I believe that your peers don’t like those pangs of conscience that they feel when they measure themselves against you and find themselves falling short. There are no pangs of conscience when everybody else is behaving the same or worse than they are.
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I whole-heartily agree with La Chaira.

I hope I used the quote function properly.

People attack the Church today for the same reason people try to put you down. You are setting an example that intimidates others. Some believe that they can never achieve the standards that you, and the Church for that matter, hold yourself to. They simply give up trying and instead attack the ideal as if it is outdated and not worthy of there efforts.

I have a young daughter that I hope grows up with the same honesty and self-worth you have.
:clapping:

Keep up the good fight!
 
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Poprox:
I am not Catholic, but I grew up with values instilled in me (my mother is Mormon and I have been exploring Catholicism), that has caused me to be called “gay”. For example, I won’t drink, smoke, have sex, or talk like an ignoramus. What I am trying to get to is this: these people are jealous of my being able to control my hormones right? It makes me sad to see the degradation of today’s society, and they take it out on those who yield to a higher power. Thank you for listening.
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As I was growing up I had the misfortune of being called gay because of my goody, goody two shoes lifestyle. I two was brought up in a very moral family life. My parents were members of the mainstream Church of Christ, and they are very strict. With the goody, goody two shoes lifestyle I led and the per pressure I received on almost a daily basis I took to the life style of drugs and illicit sex (never with the same sex). It was not until I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior that I was able to leave the harmful lifestyle I was trapped in!

No church can help you, but only God can! After you are one of His children (by accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior) He will change you. If there is anything I can do to help you out, please let me know.

Poprox, God Bless you!
 
Ric–What is the biblical basis for your statements that “no church can help you” and for accepting “the Lord Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior”? You clearly have a Fundamentalist view of Christianity and reject the Catholic view of Christianity. I am always struck in my dealings with Fundamentalists how they adhere to “sola scriptura” except when the Scriptures contradict or can’t support what they profess. Why is your view the only right way and the Catholic faith wrong? Is that supported in the Bible?
 
La Chiara:
…Get used to being different, because you are, in a very good way…
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La Chiara,

This part of your quote is totally on the mark. Being different in this context, is the perfect definition of holiness. The Book of Hebrews tell us to “strive for peace with all men and the holiness without which no one will see God.”
 
Thank you to everyone and their words of encouragement! I do have to live life the WAY that I want to, and if that means that I’m taking the narrow and pure path, well, then, by golly I will! It is said that the gates to God are narrow, and the gates to Satan are wide (or something to that effect) I come from a comunity where this is very evident. Hypocrisy abounds, and those that try to make a difference, or are acting in a moral manner, are shot down, while immoral behavior is very acceptable. Currently, I am reading “The Catechism of The Catholic Church” (nice late-night reading material!😉 ) and I get the oddest looks from people, because I am trying to stay strong the path that I am choosing. It is good to know that there are those that want to help, and make a difference in this twisted society that we live in.
 
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Poprox:
Thank you to everyone and their words of encouragement! I do have to live life the WAY that I want to, and if that means that I’m taking the narrow and pure path, well, then, by golly I will! It is said that the gates to God are narrow, and the gates to Satan are wide (or something to that effect) I come from a comunity where this is very evident. Hypocrisy abounds, and those that try to make a difference, or are acting in a moral manner, are shot down, while immoral behavior is very acceptable. Currently, I am reading “The Catechism of The Catholic Church” (nice late-night reading material!😉 ) and I get the oddest looks from people, because I am trying to stay strong the path that I am choosing. It is good to know that there are those that want to help, and make a difference in this twisted society that we live in.
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You should see the looks I get at restaurants every day when I walk in with a Bible to read at lunch time. :cool:
 
La Chiara:
Ric–What is the biblical basis for your statements that “no church can help you” and for accepting “the Lord Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior”? You clearly have a Fundamentalist view of Christianity and reject the Catholic view of Christianity. I am always struck in my dealings with Fundamentalists how they adhere to “sola scriptura” except when the Scriptures contradict or can’t support what they profess. Why is your view the only right way and the Catholic faith wrong? Is that supported in the Bible?
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Yes, Ric. Would you please indulge us on this issue.

What is your view of the Church?

Are you in opposition to the teachings Roman Catholic Church?

Have you any thoughts on Apostolic succession?

I like that you read your Bible in the resturaunt, thats great.
Where do you say your Rosary?

Hope to hear from you soon Ric
 
Poprox - you certainly sound like you are on the right road but don’t believe that the church can’t help - that is protestant talk.
Keep on searching
Ric. I was like you most of my life until I looked seriously at the Catholic side of things. All of a sudden things began to fall in place.
Converted from Anglicanism in 2003 and it was the best thing that I have ever done. Finally after many years of searching.
Read some conversion stories - it might help you to see it from their perspective.
God Bless you both
walter
 
Keep reading, stay in touch with healthy people, and know that your behavior gets such responses because those who label you such don’t want to be called to better behavior.

Isn’t it odd in this day of accepting everything, that the way to “dis” a person is still to call them “gay”?

Don’t let anyone else ever label you. You are God’s child.

Stay strong, We’re with you and support you and celebrate you.
 
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Poprox:
I am not Catholic, but I grew up with values instilled in me (my mother is Mormon and I have been exploring Catholicism), that has caused me to be called “gay”. For example, I won’t drink, smoke, have sex, or talk like an ignoramus. What I am trying to get to is this: these people are jealous of my being able to control my hormones right? It makes me sad to see the degradation of today’s society, and they take it out on those who yield to a higher power. Thank you for listening.
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I am unable to see from the information you have shared why anyone would label you as “gay” for having character traits that are those befitting a single man. Being “masculine” or “heterosexual” does not mean being promiscuous or incontinent about sex, food, tobacco or alcohol. I would urge you not to let others, who have no business making personal comments at all, determine your identity, and I would not let their ignorance and ill-breeding disturb your self-image.

Continue with your exploration of the Catholic Church and you will find the Church very rich in its spiritual wisdom, through its long tradition of clerical celibacy and monasticism, that addresses the difficulties of maintaining purity of heart, mind and actions. Because of this witness, we have rich teaching and good example on living the virtue of chastity in every state in life, including the marriage vocation and single life.
 
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Poprox:
I am not Catholic, but I grew up with values instilled in me (my mother is Mormon and I have been exploring Catholicism), that has caused me to be called “gay”. For example, I won’t drink, smoke, have sex, or talk like an ignoramus. What I am trying to get to is this: these people are jealous of my being able to control my hormones right? It makes me sad to see the degradation of today’s society, and they take it out on those who yield to a higher power. Thank you for listening.
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My husband was two yrs. older than me in highschool. He was a really cool guy,and was popular and well thought of, in his class… but guys in *my *class called him “gay” because he dressed well, treated girls with respect, didn’t drink, smoke do drugs, he was in SADD he ran track and played soccer instead of playing football. He was an Eagle scout… and they knew if I was dating him he had to be a virgin. After 10 yrs of marriage and 3 children, trust me, he’s not gay! Teenage boys are particularly bad about picking out every flaw. Just be yourself and the right girl who wants a guy with class who treats her with respect will come along! I would never have dated a guy who didn’t have all the qualities he possessed. Be the best “YOU” that you can be,
Oh, and I hope you like the Catholic Answers forums!

By the way, my highschool was strongly fundamentalist Christian, and they didnt’ like Catholics, so I mostly hung out with about 5 girls who weren’t very religious because they accepted me. We were known as cool, smart, social girls. who didn’t cheer or play sports. We were always at each other’s houses, and going out etc. but I never went to the parties the went to because of the drugs and alcohol… One of them was even an atheist. We discussed God, but I never pushed my Catholic beliefs on them. At our 10 year reunion she told me she was in RCIA . Her older sister is a convert and her younger sister is interested in Catholocism as well. My friend told me that she always had alot of respect for how I held onto my morals. You never know what kind of an affect you will have on people’s lives. 3 of my five girlfriends became Catholic. The other two are now various Christian denomonations. I’m sure I wasn’t the only influence in this direction but I believe now that God put us together for a reason, and I’m thankful that, although they were circle of friends, I didn’t do everything they did.
 
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Poprox:
Thank you to everyone and their words of encouragement! I do have to live life the WAY that I want to, and if that means that I’m taking the narrow and pure path, well, then, by golly I will! It is said that the gates to God are narrow, and the gates to Satan are wide (or something to that effect) I come from a comunity where this is very evident. Hypocrisy abounds, and those that try to make a difference, or are acting in a moral manner, are shot down, while immoral behavior is very acceptable. Currently, I am reading “The Catechism of The Catholic Church” (nice late-night reading material!😉 ) and I get the oddest looks from people, because I am trying to stay strong the path that I am choosing. It is good to know that there are those that want to help, and make a difference in this twisted society that we live in.
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I think it’s great you are reading the Catechism! Keep up the good work! and hang in there, pal! God bless!
 
Amazing what I am reading here. How I relate!

Parents, stay with your children and don’t ever let that speech about morality slip. Try to surround your children with families of like minds.

Of course, my Mom did, but she was struck by a mental illness…had she not been so firm when we were younger I would have gone more astray than I did.

I was the “goody two shoes” mentioned here, although I didn’t talk about my morality…like my heart, it was on my sleeve. As I suspect it is for everyone categorized as such.

I remember when my best friend, also Catholic, also involved in the parish, parents MAJORLY involved…went astray. I remember how I tried to dissuade her gently. She became defensive. And when I was 20 and finally succombed to the pressure of my boyfriend, I felt betrayed mostly by myself. I knew it was wrong. And when I confided in her hoping for some comfort, some strength, some way to atone…you know what she said to me?

“Good. Now you aren’t any better than me.”

My heart completely broke. I never thought I was “better” than her, and I never pretended to be so. I merely cautioned her about the consequences of her activities. And when I fell as well…she not only wasn’t there but was so far gone she had no idea what I was really feeling.

She did it for acceptance…she didn’t understand love or what love was supposed to be. She was trying to be “cool” because what we all see today…sex is “cool.”

The only way we can change that is through the next generation. For those of you still chaste, still holding true to God’s teaching…God bless you and give you strength! God protect you from the snide comments of people you think are your friends…and may your very abstinence and example lead them to the truth.

I messed up, I’ve realized my mess and I’ve cleaned up all but the stain that will be there forever. I pray to get to purgatory as I will now never feel “good enough” to enter God’s kingdom, even with confession…I have more to say on this stain, but let’s save it for a different thread. My point is this: following God’s law is tough and forces us to make decisions not for ourselves, but for Him…and for others. The example we lead affects others in ways we don’t understand. We can find true happiness in that path and we need the grace of God to stay on it. Our friends who may have not had the examples we have had need that grace even more so than us…

Oh, I’m really making a mess of what I’m trying to say. I hope you understand my meaning. Lately the words just aren’t there…Thanks for posting this thread. I suspect that the testimony given here has given strength to many who suffer the same “problem”.

In Christ,

J.C. Phoenix
 
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Poprox:
Thank you to everyone and their words of encouragement! I do have to live life the WAY that I want to, and if that means that I’m taking the narrow and pure path, well, then, by golly I will! It is said that the gates to God are narrow, and the gates to Satan are wide (or something to that effect) I come from a comunity where this is very evident. Hypocrisy abounds, and those that try to make a difference, or are acting in a moral manner, are shot down, while immoral behavior is very acceptable. Currently, I am reading “The Catechism of The Catholic Church” (nice late-night reading material!😉 ) and I get the oddest looks from people, because I am trying to stay strong the path that I am choosing. It is good to know that there are those that want to help, and make a difference in this twisted society that we live in.
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Keep it up!!! I know exactly how you feel…I’m Catholic though, and I get it all the time at school (a Catholic School…) and I’m glad it’s my only year where I am…then high school…that might be worse…I don’t know…Just keep it up!!!
 
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