Honour thy father and mother

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kellie

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Can you guys please help me ?

I find it very hard to keep this Commandment.

Especially regarding my dad.

I live with my parents, and this year, as I have grown stronger in my Faith, and become more involved in the Church, I am finding it very hard to not get angry with my dad when he knocks the Catholic Church.

He is Anglican. However, he doesnt even know if he was baptised.
His father is dead , and his mum is so old that she cant remember.
He has always said he is Anglican, and he remembers going to Sunday school.

He knows some old type Anglican hymns.

Whenever I talk about my Faith, he will start up a discussion about “you Catholics”.

And dont ever mention the Pope in front of him.

He just makes fun of him and laughs that we follow an old man in Rome.

I try and explain to him the teachings of the Church, how Jesus built His church upon Peter the Rock, and the Pope is Peter’s successor, but alas, my dad tunes out.

There are heaps of other issues not regarding religion and I just find it so hard to honour him.

I am grateful that he allowed my mother to get me baptised, and I am glad he worked 3 jobs when I was at school, to put me and my brother and sister through school, but as an adult, I cant seem to find things to keep honouring him over.

Or is what he did for me as a child enough, and the fact that he simply is my father enough to be honoured?

Love Kellie
 
Hi Kellie,

The fact that he is your father is enough to honor him even if he acts like a moron sometimes… If you think this has been hard for you, how about your mother! Somehow she has remained Catholic in that negative environment, and she brought you up in the faith.

You say you are an adult, but still living with your parents; that is a difficult situation! No matter how old you, are they will tend to treat you like their little girl. When you go out on your own you will have space to live your own life. In the meantime, try to avoid religious discussions with your father.
 
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arnulf:
In the meantime, try to avoid religious discussions with your father.
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Don’t I have an obligation to defend my Faith when he attacks it ?
 
That’s one way of looking at it. Another perspective is that you have an obligation to imitate Jesus Christ, who suffered silently while he was scourged, mocked, and crowned with thorns.

A practical result of imitating Jesus in this way is that it takes all the fun out of tormenting you. Try it! :rotfl:
 
Don’t I have an obligation to defend my Faith when he attacks it ?
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Yes, but Christ also says not to cast your pearls before swine (no offense to your father of course, but he is acting quite pig-headed :rolleyes: ). The next time he openly attacks your faith, tell him you’d be happy to discuss the differences between his church and yours, but that you’re not going to waste time fighting and getting nowhere. From then on, just ignore his attacks. Eventually, he might actually come to you with a real question about the faith. That’s the time to evangelize.
 
hey,

you be the best catholic you can be… don’t ever quit honnering your father… say your rosary daily for him… persevere, he will come around one day, i promise you… remember, kindnest to a father in his old age will be rewarded as sin offerings, your prayers will garner just a little more merit…

all and all, he is your daddy… his problem might have originated from his daddy…

hang in there… peace be with you in efforts to mature in your faith and maintaining patience and honor for your father… 👍
 
Honoring your father in this case might just mean allowing him to be wrong for a time. You can honor your father even when he is wrong. If he were forbidding you to go to Mass then I think you would have to disobey him, but if it is just him being hateful toward they Church you should just let it rest.

May I suggest two things?

First when he starts in say something like “Dad, I love you and I love my Church, so can we talk about something else?”

Second if you feel yourself getting angry when debating religion you are not doing it in a Godly way. Start saying a “Hail Mary” in your head until you can relax.
 
Dr. Colossus:
Yes, but Christ also says not to cast your pearls before swine (no offense to your father of course, but he is acting quite pig-headed :rolleyes: ). The next time he openly attacks your faith, tell him you’d be happy to discuss the differences between his church and yours, but that you’re not going to waste time fighting and getting nowhere. From then on, just ignore his attacks. Eventually, he might actually come to you with a real question about the faith. That’s the time to evangelize.
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I think the key point is to remember the difference between proselytizing and evangelizing. Your father is probably having some problems with your baptism/conversion and therefore is attacking as a way of feeling superior. You might simply not want to talk about your faith in front of him, simply live it. If he feels like there is a part of your life you aren’t sharing with him, rather than a part you feel is better, there’s a higher likelihood he’ll ask. Parents very seldom like to feel like they are being taught something by their children. I’m learning that the hard way from my mom.
 
Spaceghost alluded to this Scripture above, but here is a reading from Sirach 3 that has some amazing promises tied to it:

1
Children, pay heed to a father’s right; do so that you may live.
2
For the LORD sets a father in honor over his children; a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons.
3
He who honors his father atones for sins;
4
he stores up riches who reveres his mother.
5
He who honors his father is gladdened by children, and when he prays he is heard.
6
He who reveres his father will live a long life; he obeys the LORD who brings comfort to his mother.
7
He who fears the LORD honors his father, and serves his parents as rulers.
8
In word and deed honor your father that his blessing may come upon you;
9
For a father’s blessing gives a family firm roots, but a mother’s curse uproots the growing plant.
10
Glory not in your father’s shame, for his shame is no glory to you!
11
His father’s honor is a man’s glory; disgrace for her children, a mother’s shame.
12
My son, take care of your father when he is old; grieve him not as long as he lives.
13
Even if his mind fail, be considerate with him; revile him not in the fullness of your strength.
14
For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, it will serve as a sin offering–it will take lasting root.
15
In time of tribulation it will be recalled to your advantage, like warmth upon frost it will melt away your sins.
16
A blasphemer is he who despises his father; accursed of his Creator, he who angers his mother.

My advice is to be patient and pray for him. He may yet come around, though it may be years. In this time, just think of the virtue you will cultivate through your forbearance!
 
Thanks everyone, you are all so wise.

Im going to start putting all those tips into practice.

Love Kellie
 
I do not know if you celebrate Father’s Day in Australia, but just give your father all the respect he deserves.
As the song says, There’ll know we are Christians by Our Love.

Also, I still respect my parents even though they are passed on into Heaven. I honor them by remembering them and what they taught me. When I do something wrong, even today, I am sure they know about it!

Go with God!
Edwin
 
In my experience, I had to look at my own behavior to see why my parents react to me the way they did. When I embraced the faith, I was so excited that I HAD to share the Good News! I would try to convince my liberal Catholic parents of the Church’s point of view on all the “controversial” topics that they had their own strong opinions on. The result was some really heated conversations in which not only did I not convince them, but I didn’t honor them either. I now realize that I was being selfish. I only cared that I NEEDED to share the good news. I wasn’t concerned with what they NEEDED to hear. I wasn’t being a good Christian (at least in that regard).

Now, I try very hard to live a good Christian example for my parents to see. This way, I’m not a hypocrite to them. Maybe they’ll recognize the results of my faith on my life. I try not to get into arguments that I know will turn into fights (sometimes I have to just say no when they bring them up). But if we do get into discussions, I quit before they turn ugly. I don’t need to get the last word, even though I know I’m right. I try to discern if what I will say next will bring them closer to Christ or turn them off.

Occasionally, I will ask them to explain why they believe what the do on a topic, and I won’t argue. I’ll just listen and ask for clarification so I can really understand them. This accomplishes two goals. One, they appreciate me listening to and being respectful of their views. They know I care about them, and they are more likely to listen to me. Two, I learn about where they’re coming from so I can focus my evangelizatoin. For example, I am learning that for most issues, I can’t argue, but have to pray for and be an example to my scientist Dad because his disbelief of God seems to be the root of many arguments. But I am getting better at having discussions with my mom that seem to actually make her think about my point of view.

God bless you. He can use you to touch the hearts of your family!
 
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