How did you find the right one?

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I am planning to get married soon and is in search of the right one. Earlier I always wished to get someone who will love me unconditionally. But now that has become secondary, and after getting more active in Catholic life, I pray to get someone who loves Jesus and Mother Mary. I love the Catholic Church and wish to find someone who has the same love for the Church so that we can both grow together in the love of Jesus through the Church.

I am excited and is looking forward to getting married. Could you share your story on how you found the right one? And do you have any pieces of advice about finding the one and married life?
 
You don’t have a special someone yet?

Are you asking how to find one?

Because if that’s the case, you won’t be marrying for at least a year if you meet someone today. Six months to get to know them and discern if they are marriage material. The Church usually needs about six months for marriage prep.
 
I’m a little confused- you’re planning to marry soon but haven’t found someone to marry yet?

My husband and I met while we were in college. I didn’t really do anything to seek him out- we became friends first and it developed into more later.
 
What I meant was I am ready for marriage. Well I get it now. Most people are going to be confused. I am a catholic from India and getting a partner for marriage is different than from western world.
 
I am not married yet.
Sometimes my mum asks when I am going to be but thankfully my parents aren’t as bad as some parents pressuring in that respect.
Preferably I would like to marry someone of my same cultural background-Bosnian or Croatian but you can’t always know who you will fall in love with.

Do Catholic Indians have arranged marriage like Hindus or do you meet someone for yourself etc?
 
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Thanks:) I didn’t see that,I should probably go to bed.
 
God put him in my path and kept putting him there until I finally gave in and accepted God’s plan instead of keeping on trying to do other stuff.

I kind of figured that was how it would turn out in the end but I was a bit contrary.

Like TheLittleLady, I married my best friend. He was not the most exciting guy I ever dated, nor the best-looking guy I ever dated. He was, however, the most responsible, most reliable, most intelligent, most kind, most understanding, and least annoying guy I ever dated, and overall, the best person. That’s worth more than all the stupid excitement and romance stuff, which frankly made me uncomfortable after several other “romantic” guys turned out to be losers. I wanted more of a Tevye and Goldie relationship.

I miss him very much.
 
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My mom gave me a prayer book called, “Mother Love” and showed me the “Partner Prayer”. Then I prayed the following prayer every night . A year later, I met my husband.

PARTNER PRAYER (For young people who may have a vocation to the married state)

O my Savior, Who died for my redemption, I beseech You by the infinite merits of Your Precious Blood, to grant me the necessary light and grace to choose the partner with whom I can best work out my eternal salvation. Mary, my mother, obtain for me this grace by your most powerful intercession. Saint Joseph, Patron of Christian Families, pray for me. Amen

(Prayer is found on Page 431 of “Mother Love: A Prayer Book for Christian Wives and Mothers with Information about the Confraternity of Christian Mothers” by Rev. Pius Franciscus, O.F.M. Cap)
 
My husband was like that for me too. As you get older, you realize that the stability carries way more weight and importance than those “gushy” romantic feelings. Besides feelings fade and change.

Marriage for us has not always easy because we struggle with our pride and the “dying to self” part. However, the healing balm for us is through the power of praying the Holy Rosary. I love the praying the Rosary very much.

May the memories of him bring you comfort.
 
Yeah, I didn’t want to get married either.

Now I am facing the challenge of learning how to transition back to unmarried.

God’s will be done.
 
Rozellelily said:
Do Catholic Indians have arranged marriage like Hindus or do you meet someone for yourself etc?
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It might sound funny to people outside. Yes, traditionally we have arranged marriages. In this internet age, it is done mostly by matrimony websites (marriage fixing websites), like this one especially for Christians in my state, Chavara Matrimony. Mostly it’s the parents who search for a match for their son/daughter.
Once they all agree on one they move forward to the next step. Its called Pennukanal which translates to seeing seeing the bride. Everyone meets at the bride’s house and discuss. Both of them are allowed to talk in private and share their thoughts. Then they usually exchange numbers and get to know each other.
After that, if both are convinced there is another function called Urappiru which means fixation. Then the engagement arranged by the bride`s family at their parish. The wedding is arranged fully by the bridegroom in their parish. But the wedding is a mega event. My cousin got married last week and 2000 people turned up. That’s how it works here in the traditional setup. But there are exceptions.
 
Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. However, if you’re ready to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting, worthwhile relationship, life as a single person can also seem frustrating.

For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists. Or maybe your dating history consists only of brief flings and you don’t know how to make a relationship last. You could be attracted to the wrong type of person or keep making the same bad choices over and over, due to an unresolved issue from your past. Or maybe you’re not putting yourself in the best environments to meet the right person, or that when you do, you don’t feel confident enough. Whatever the case may be, you can overcome your obstacles and find a healthy romantic relationship.

there’re 7 tips: https://docsbay.net/dating-tips-for-finding-the-right-person, hope can help you
 
I met my girlfriend online. She’s not Catholic, but she is perfect for me in every way. This has been by far the best relationship I have ever had. It was definitely God ordained!

We will not be having kids as I have had a vasectomy, so there is no issue with having to worry about raising kids in the Catholic faith.
 
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