How did you know you were called to marriage or the religious life

[SacredHeartBassist]

How can anyone really know? Most people will likely say they knew When they got married to their wife or husband but with the divorce rates the way they are that’s not a good answer for me. Also there are some priests who left just so they can get married so I guess they didn’t know either. So how can you know for sure

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

But what about priests who leave the priesthood and get married I mean surely they had to have had a spiritual director

 

[JetteZ]

I wasn’t raised Catholic; but, I knew I wanted to have children so religious life wouldn’t have been a consideration even if I had been.

I think the surety felling you are talking about is very rare. In married life you aren’t the only party in control of whether the relationship is satisfactory. You can do the right things, you can commit to a path and not look for a reason to depart from it, you can take time to really understand yourself; but, you are not in complete control of your life and you have to accept that uncertainty and make decisions anyway.

 

[JamalChristophr]

I have often heard it said by religious, speaking about their call to the the religous life, say that how important Eucharist Adoration was in discernment of their call.

 

[anikins]

I wonder how common this is vs. simply leaving the priesthood. I don’t have much experience with the Easter Rite, sadly, but it seems like that would be a big change for someone used to practicing the Roman Rite.

 

[starlady]

I felt a desire to be a nun off and on throughout my growing up years. If you would have asked the 11 year old version of myself, I would have said I was convinced I would be a nun. This was partly due to the influence of my favorite aunt, who herself is a Benedictine nun.

I actually spent two months volunteering at the monastery where my aunt is during the summer before my last year of college. It was so peaceful going to pray, eat and work with the sisters everyday. I distinctly remember thinking to myself one day during one of the daily prayer times that it would be so much easier to just join the sisters and pray and sustain ourselves rather than worry about the problems of the world or the difficulty of finding a husband. But as soon as I thought that, I realized that religious life was not for me because I was looking at it as an escape from something (world’s problems), and that was really not the appropriate approach to a vocation.

I felt a lot freer about being myself focusing on marriage, and about two years after that summer, I met my future husband, quite unexpectedly, but God often works that way.

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

But honestly you can think that way about marriage too since it would be easier to get married than it is to live without sex.

 

[starlady]

But honestly you can think that way about marriage too since it would be easier to get married than it is to live without sex.

I’m married and we are expecting a child, but physical touch is not normally one of the ways I primarily prefer to demonstrate love. Even within marriage, some people don’t feel the need to have sex all that often. And marriage is a lot more than being able to have sex with someone.

You could think that way about either vocation, but I still think that if you are looking at a vocation as an escape, then it’s either not for you or you are going about discernment the wrong way.

In any case, I just replied with my own experiences…not everyone comes to the same conclusion the same way.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

When you’re a female Catholic in this day and age, it’s a pretty good sign God’s not calling you to the priesthood.

I’m not being facetious.

 

[Fauken]

Oh darn it!

The same goes for men and consecrated virginity.

 

[KathleenT]

I can’t speak for others but I always knew I should be a wife and mother. It was all I really wanted. I gave religious life a superficial thought now and then but dismissed it.

I have great respect for nuns. But their vocation is not mine.

How do you know for sure? I don’t know. Ask God for the gift of certainty, I guess. I did hear a preist say once neither vocation is “wrong” but sometimes God wants us to make a choice and stick with it.

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

Maybe I’m not meant for either vocation

 

[guanophore]

How can anyone really know? Most people will likely say they knew When they got married to their wife or husband but with the divorce rates the way they are that’s not a good answer for me.

This is a good thing! One should certainly not get married without strong assurance they are making the right decision. And once they do, they should not consider “divorce” an option.

Also there are some priests who left just so they can get married so I guess they didn’t know either.

There is a very long period of discernment and a candidate takes temporary vows. Everyone has to agree, the spiritual director, confessor, vocation director and if it is a community, the members. Priests that leave were not necessarily uncommitted to their vows. I know some priests who have left after decades of faithful service. In some cases they drift away from supports they need to keep their vows.

So how can you know for sure

When you go through the discernment process, clarity will come, one way or the other. In any case, as long as you are following God, remain in a state of grace, and are obedient to those who are trying to help you discern, you can follow your conscience with peace.

For some people, the process itself is God’ intention, not the result. People sometimes stay in formation or live with a community for some time before they decide not to stay.

I wasn’t raised Catholic; but, I knew I wanted to have children so religious life wouldn’t have been a consideration even if I had been.

This is a good point. Those who are called to marriage/family usually have a desire to be married and have interest in children. This is not to say that persons called to vocation never do, but a desire to have children that starts very young is something to consider, just as much as a lack of desire for these things. One of the reasons I thought I was called to religious life was a complete lack of interest in dating, marriage, kids, etc.