How do I tell my wife I have a desire to convert?

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LostSheepUK

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I joined this forum a week or so ago & find it very interesting. As a lifelong sceptic and was very anti-Catholic in my youth, I am astounded by my desire to visit a church, witness Mass and talk to a priest. I have contacted my local parish and the local priest is willing to meet with me to talk about my faith and where my journey may lead.

I am coming to terms with my own internal conflict and want to take the first step, but I am worried about telling my wife about my change of faith. She is very much a non-believer and I have no idea how she will react. Does anyone have any advice on how to broach the subject?
 
Hey. Really glad to see your growth in faith! I think you can (and, maybe, should) tell your wife about your religion. Do not stress on the authenticity of Christianity, but talk more about what you feel really absent in your non-religious life, and what beauty of Christianity/Catholicism really draws you. Make sure she can understand your feeling while not agreeing with you. Maybe this can also be a chance to evangelize your wife as well, who knows!

God bless you.
 
When you say “non - believer” do you mean she is atheist or just anti Catholic?

In any case…just be honest. Maybe try writing down the reasons as best as you can for wanting to convert before you speak to her…try to find Biblical references(if she is into that). It may help you gather your thoughts.
 
Just wanted to take a moment to say welcome Home. We’re happy to have you ^^

As for talking with your wife, being open and honest is probably your best best. Just don’t let her talk you into submission, you’re feeling this call for a reason. Poptown’s advice sounds pretty good to me actually.
 
LostSheepUK said:
I joined this forum a week or so ago & find it very interesting. As a lifelong sceptic and was very anti-Catholic in my youth, I am astounded by my desire to visit a church, witness Mass and talk to a priest. I have contacted my local parish and the local priest is willing to meet with me to talk about my faith and where my journey may lead.

I am coming to terms with my own internal conflict and want to take the first step, but I am worried about telling my wife about my change of faith. She is very much a non-believer and I have no idea how she will react. Does anyone have any advice on how to broach the subject?
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What Prompted your desire to convert?
 
LostSheepUK said:
I joined this forum a week or so ago & find it very interesting. As a lifelong sceptic and was very anti-Catholic in my youth, I am astounded by my desire to visit a church, witness Mass and talk to a priest. I have contacted my local parish and the local priest is willing to meet with me to talk about my faith and where my journey may lead.

I am coming to terms with my own internal conflict and want to take the first step, but I am worried about telling my wife about my change of faith. She is very much a non-believer and I have no idea how she will react. Does anyone have any advice on how to broach the subject?
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See if she would like to join you when you go met with the priest. Even before you do that pray that she would be open or at least accepting on your behalf. St. Monica prayed 30 years for the conversion of her son who became St. Augustine so I would ask her for her help and intercession. We will also pray for you and her together.
 
LostSheepUK said:
I joined this forum a week or so ago & find it very interesting. As a lifelong sceptic and was very anti-Catholic in my youth, I am astounded by my desire to visit a church, witness Mass and talk to a priest. I have contacted my local parish and the local priest is willing to meet with me to talk about my faith and where my journey may lead.

I am coming to terms with my own internal conflict and want to take the first step, but I am worried about telling my wife about my change of faith. She is very much a non-believer and I have no idea how she will react. Does anyone have any advice on how to broach the subject?
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Hi LostSheep and welcome to the forums! 🙂

You live very near to me 🙂 Great idea that you have contacted your local priest…the Catherdal for our Diocese is in Bristol… Clifton Cathedral you may like to visit it also. Bishop Declan there is so lovely and so friendly.

cliftoncathedral.org.uk/

As you learn more about the church and feel the inspiration of the Holy Spirit guiding you, you will grow in confidence of faith and courage and strength. Pray for guidance.

Be the example to your wife of Christ’s love. Let her see how your faith is developing and your love and compassion for others is growing she will be inspired by your actions. Try bringing up conversations about life and the purpose of life and bring deep and meaningful topics in gently bringing Jesus into these things by What Would Jesus Do?

I would tread gently, chipping away, and invest more time into praying and being the example for her to see. My own husband joined the church after 12 years of me chipping away and being an example of faith to him. I would invite him and his parents to events at church and especially at Christmas or Easter.He saw how important my faith was and how relevant it was. He began attending Masses and then became a regular Mass attender, never missing Mass.
One day after Mass our Deacon spoke to him about joining the church and he came to visit our home every week to chat. Then before long he joined the church.

His mother has expressed that she would be interested in becoming catholic now !

God loves us and calls us to Him. In His own time and in His own way. God will guide you.

I hope you will enjoy your visit with the priest 🙂

God bless my friend
 
Hope you have a chance to talk this over with your wife in a way that will let her feel comfortable about what is going on with God’s call in your life. Pray to the Holy Spirit to be with you in this conversation and to help you with just the right words. God bless you.
 
It is more simple than it seems. Tell her you are and converting why. If she disagrees with it that is not a problem. If she truly loves you she will not instantly leave you for your faith, the same way you would not instantly leave her for her lack of faith.

In time she will see a major change in you as God has quite obviously chosen you. It is your choice to accept or reject his decision (of choosing you at this time in your life). I have never read scripture that talks about a man being called to leave his wife because she is unchaste. I have only read scripture that says it is the only time you have that option. If you apply the rest of the scripture, from what I have concluded, it is going to usually be the wrong choice and a decision you will regret.

When she sees the Lord’s (who is her Lord too whether or not she believes it yet) reflection in your life she will come around. It is my belief God would not have chosen you otherwise.
 
LostSheepUK said:
I joined this forum a week or so ago & find it very interesting. As a lifelong sceptic and was very anti-Catholic in my youth, I am astounded by my desire to visit a church, witness Mass and talk to a priest. I have contacted my local parish and the local priest is willing to meet with me to talk about my faith and where my journey may lead.

I am coming to terms with my own internal conflict and want to take the first step, but I am worried about telling my wife about my change of faith. She is very much a non-believer and I have no idea how she will react. Does anyone have any advice on how to broach the subject?
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I would meet with the priest, first, so you have more information. Then take her to dinner/lunch, someplace where t you can talk but are free of phone calls, visitors and where she is under yelling constraint. Talk about where you are and how you got there and assure her you are not expecting her to follow but need her support. Don’t try and sell her anything, just share yourself with her.

You know, mate, for all you know she is secretly thinking about the same things…
 
I wouldn’t call my husband a non-believer, but he’s definitely not wanting to go to church. He was raised in a strict Baptist family and it was mandatory to attend (in his family) three times a week. I was always the more agnostic. In the last couple of years I feel like I was gently being pulled into the direction of the Catholic Church, and Catholicism in general. It was so subtle at first, that it was easily ignored. Then I started listening closer, started attending Mass. Now, I’m the one going twice a week and enrolled in RCIA! My husband is very understanding. He doesn’t show much interest in going himself, but maybe this Christmas I can get him to the Midnight Mass. I feel confident your wife will support you in this. And you never know, like the other posters said, she may be watching you and looking to you for support in this endeavor. She may show interest on her own eventually. Anything could happen 🙂
 
LostSheepUK said:
I joined this forum a week or so ago & find it very interesting. As a lifelong sceptic and was very anti-Catholic in my youth, I am astounded by my desire to visit a church, witness Mass and talk to a priest. I have contacted my local parish and the local priest is willing to meet with me to talk about my faith and where my journey may lead.

I am coming to terms with my own internal conflict and want to take the first step, but I am worried about telling my wife about my change of faith. She is very much a non-believer and I have no idea how she will react. Does anyone have any advice on how to broach the subject?
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Just simply say what you have done here. Don’t try to preguess her reactions because that is what is making it harder for you. She may say to you fine go ahead etc or not. Just go with the moment and in time she may join you or not. Try to tell her before you chat with the priest if you haven’t done so already because that way you can say you’re tentative and exploring. You can say that even after chatting with the priest as you are still exploring. Just be simple and honest with her and take what comes whatever happens. By telling her now she can be with you on that journey even if she don’t act upon it herself. She will understand a bit better why you are changing for she will see changes in you and not understand them. By telling her and keeping her included she will grow with you even if as I say she don’t actually join you. Just say what you did here over a mug of coffee as you chat about your day between you anyway. If you met with the priest then simply say that as your intro, ‘by the way I met up with a Roman Catholic Priest today’ and go from there.
 
I agree with the poster who said to explain a little of why Catholicism appeals to you emotionally, what it is about this journey that is bringing you joy, rather than starting out with argument or debate on its truth value. One can’t argue with joy and happiness so this early approach is likely to work better. If she is actually interested in debating things or talking out apologetics this is fine, but it not moving into rational argumentation typically is just off-putting. God bless you and good luck on your faith journey:).
 
Hello LostSheepUK

im from Gods garden aswell,England.Lancashire 🙂

ive read the post and i think it is a great thing in what you are feeling and wanting to do.

when i asked my wife to marry me she was over the moon,i said a catholic church is the place no where else.she agreed.she is protestant.

but she said not to push here into any thing regarding going to church and the religion .i agreed,we both went to classes together before we married,and so it was we got married.

we have been married now for over twelve years.but the thing is ive never pushed her into going to mass.

now the last nine years she has been going to mass with me nearly every week since.she gets a blessing of the priest instead of communion.

all this wont make sence to you not knowing my wife,i can tell you she was not interested in god one bit when i met her.not in the slightest.she now is a teaching assistant in a catholic school,she loves it.the whole concept of catholism. she even surprises me at times when she speaks of saint,and the bible.she has worked in non catholic schools and she says they are not the same.the spirit is missing.she realy has surprised me in how from no god, to admiring him and even worshiping him.

my only thing i can say is go for it,dont turn back.you never know she might even see the holy spirit working in you already.she may already know how you are feeling.

my prayers are with you.

god bless.👍
 
LostSheepUK said:
I joined this forum a week or so ago & find it very interesting. As a lifelong sceptic and was very anti-Catholic in my youth, I am astounded by my desire to visit a church, witness Mass and talk to a priest. I have contacted my local parish and the local priest is willing to meet with me to talk about my faith and where my journey may lead.

I am coming to terms with my own internal conflict and want to take the first step, but I am worried about telling my wife about my change of faith. She is very much a non-believer and I have no idea how she will react. Does anyone have any advice on how to broach the subject?
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Discuss this with the priest when you meet with him. It’s a tricky issue, could go either way. I had no internal conflict at all, but I changed the terms of our marriage when I reverted during my 1st pregnancy. I had no idea that was coming, somehow God must chuckle to himself when He kind of springs it on us!

Take it very slowly and take it easy, do not flood her with information on the Church, think about how you would approach any other tricky subject like her parents, holiday traditions, etc. Ask the priest to give you some simple prayers and start praying for her.

Welcome home!
 
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