I NEED GOOD ADVICE

[george_eastlake]

I was married Catholic and then divorced and then re married (episc)
I’m in the process of being granted an annulment(I pray, it was not contested in any way and it seems it will happen). Anyway, I fell away from the church and then one day I decided to take my young daughter to Mass and was zapped, so to speak. Well for four years Ihave been reading and praying and becoming quite an avid Catholic. I love the church. My kids and I pray a rosary each night,. etc. Some time ago I decided through much payer and discernment that I would build a shrine in honor of Our Lady in order to foster prayer. My wife and I own the building next to our business and I thought additionally as well as being an outdoor shrine that this building could be other things to support the Catholic community. So now word has gotten about and many people are getting behind this. One woman who I met was very excited but mentioned that to bring in and involve other Catholics into this project could create scandal because I am technically living in sin with my wife. (I gave he my backround) She said that we could live in continence
and I could go to confession and all would be on the up and up, so to speak. She’s not a snobby person, just being honest. One of the thrusts behind this project to unite catholics in prayer and fellowship is orthodoxy and complete faithfulness to the magisterium, this being my idea. Here lies the challenge. My wife is not catholic but is willing to have our marriage validated in te church. She obviously isn’t going to understand the depth of the teaching behind this sanction as it were regarding being continent
for the sake of the Kingdom. I think I can ask her in the right way and I’m not worried about this. What though of this business of continence. I truly feel that I’ve known this all along but for whatever reason it remained hidden from me. Our priest seemed to think not such a good idea to try the continence route. (don’t upset the apple cart) But orthodox Catholics would say I have to do this at all costs? I feel like a hypocrite. Our priest also gave me examples where grace over ruled canon law? I forget he name of the provision. If my wife does say no,(to continence) what then?
My annulment should actually be coming soon, it’s taken 3 years because this same priest lost the case twice.
peace and love always in Christ
George

 

[Jan_Wakelin]

It is a sure sign of God’s love that he has brought people into your life to shine light in the darkness. Would he now deny you the grace to live out your situation according to his will? Grace is very powerful, and it is available to you and to your wife. Just trust that it is yours for the taking.
Please read the document from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, “Concerning the Reception of Holy Communion by Divorced and Remarried members of the Faithful”. Please pay special attention to this part:
The faithful who persist in such a situation may receive holy communion only after obtaining sacramental absolution, which may be given only to those who, repenting of having broken the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, are sincerely ready to undertake a way of life that is no longer in contradiction to the indissolubility of marriage. This means, in practice, that when for serious reasons, for example, for the children’s upbringing, a man and a woman cannot satisfy the obligation to separate, they “take on themselves the duty to live in complete continence, that is, by abstinence from the acts proper to married couples.” In such a case they may receive holy communion as long as they respect the obligation to avoid giving scandal.

For the full text, please go here.

While living in complete continence, offer up this time for the sins of your past and for your wife, that she may come to see the truth and beauty of the Catholic faith. In the interum, show your love for your wife in other ways. Truly lay down your life for her. Consider joining e5men.
May God bless you both.