If the purpose of marriage is to help your spouse get to heaven

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Then I honestly don’t see how most marriages are accomplishing that goal. I came from an abusive family and as a result my parents separated. Just by looking around at the modern dating world, it’s obvious that most people are not even concerned about getting themselves in heaven, let alone their spouse. A lot of catholic women I meet are just catholic in name only and they wouldn’t date a man who wouldn’t have sex before marriage.

I’m frustrated with the dating scene and I’ve given up on finding a spouse. Should I consider the religious life/holy orders? I think a religious community would help me get to heaven more than a wife could
 
Whether you recognize it or not, most people grow significantly from the challenges of marriage and caring for a family. This is true even of the divorced.

A selfish abusive person was not a better person before they became married, they just hadn’t been tested yet with the responsibilities.
 
Every Sacrament is a source of Salvic Grace, that is why they are Sacraments.

So yes, the purpose of marriage is for each spouse to assist the salvation of the other.

But Grace is subject to free will. Just as many who are Baptized choose not to draw up the Grace of Baptism and choose to sin instead, the same is true for Marriage. The Grace is offered, but it can be rejected.

Marriage being a Sacrament does not guarantee that either or both spouses will use that Grace effectively, but the purpose of that Grace still remains the same, salvation.
 
Its the sad state of our hookup culture today.
I don’t think you should give up though, unless you find it impossible to find the right person.
I would just say to endure it , and if you feel a religious calling then by all means do so.
 
A bad dating life isn’t the only reason to consider joining an order. I do happen to agree a lot of with what you said.

If you really believe you are called, you need to talk to a priest.
 
Sacramental Marriage is, like all of the Sacraments, a vehicle of Grace. The normal means of reaching heaven is through the Sacraments.

Primary ends of marriage were stated clearly in the 1917 Code of Canon Law:

"The primary end of marriage is the procreation and education of children; its secondary end is mutual help and the allaying of concupiscence.”
 
I intend on getting my future wife, if she exists, to heaven. I know this is what marriage is for.
 
I’ve said it a few times.

My husband and I, both faithful Catholics, went to the same parish, attended the TOT events and even did a few other things. Face to face we don’t stand a chance to meet. We “met” on Catholic Match.

But it seems your problem is a far graver thing than simply having a tough time finding a spouse.

To amply live any vocation, from married life to religious life, and even the single life one must try for the best in both physical and mental help. I’d suggest getting help on that level so it doesn’t drag you down.
 
A lot of marriages today are broken, and it’s a tragedy. Many people go into marriages without realizing the mission that they are being sent on! That doesn’t mean it’s hopeless.

You are not approaching the issue with a service mentality. Instead of viewing as “a wife won’t help ME get to heaven”…why don’t you think of it as “I want to help my wife and children get into heaven.” Do you? Pray about it while keeping this in mind. Do you feel drawn to serve a family, or a religious order, or a parish?

peace
 
jdavani said:
I’m frustrated with the dating scene and I’ve given up on finding a spouse. Should I consider the religious life/holy orders? I think a religious community would help me get to heaven more than a wife could
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Oh, fer cryin’ out loud.

No, you should NOT consider the religious life/holy orders UNLESS you feel a calling to do so; the religious life is not a consolation prize for someone who has given up on finding a spouse.

As far as marriage, it’s not about what you GET FROM the marriage, it’s about what you GIVE TO the marriage. As Fr. Mike Schmitz says, “marriage is a place where good people go to die” (to themselves, that is). Being married can be extremely difficult at times and it involves a ton of self-sacrifice and a ton of work. If someone is primarily looking for what they’ll get from being married, they have a lot of misery ahead of them.
 
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