I'm confused

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NancyB

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I have a problem, and I seem to be the only one. There are 3 things that I am confused about. Actually 2, the other I’m just mad about.
  1. There is a woman who has joined our church. She has a child, out of wedlock, and is/was (the living arrangements change monthly, she and their daughter move in, then she’s getting kicked out) living with the father of her child. The priest knows this, and allowed her to join the church. How? She was recently blessed by our bishop and I wanted to stand up in church and scream! She claims that she was born catholic, but she’s lived in this area all her life and she nor any of her family have stepped foot in the church except for her daughters christening.
  2. There is another woman who has 2 children by her husband (he’s not Catholic and they were married in a Baptist church). She is allowed to receive communion. Is this right?
Someone please tell if I’m wrong for objecting to this. I am a cradle Catholic and I lived by all “the rules”. I can’t understand this. Also, our priest acts as if he can’t stand my child, my husband or me. He treats all the wealthier people like gold and the rest he could care less about. We lived a couple of blocks from him at one time and we had our son, he NEVER visited. He never speaks at church. I’ve gone out of my way to be nice to him with no response. I’ve gotten to the point of wanting to change churches, but this is the church I grew up in and it means alot for me to stay… Other hurtful things have happened but I’ve taken to much space as it is. Someone please help. Suggestions? Comments?
 
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NancyB:
I have a problem, and I seem to be the only one. There are 3 things that I am confused about. Actually 2, the other I’m just mad about.
  1. There is a woman who has joined our church. She has a child, out of wedlock, and is/was (the living arrangements change monthly, she and their daughter move in, then she’s getting kicked out) living with the father of her child. The priest knows this, and allowed her to join the church. How? She was recently blessed by our bishop and I wanted to stand up in church and scream! She claims that she was born catholic, but she’s lived in this area all her life and she nor any of her family have stepped foot in the church except for her daughters christening.
  2. There is another woman who has 2 children by her husband (he’s not Catholic and they were married in a Baptist church). She is allowed to receive communion. Is this right?
Someone please tell if I’m wrong for objecting to this. I am a cradle Catholic and I lived by all “the rules”. I can’t understand this. Also, our priest acts as if he can’t stand my child, my husband or me. He treats all the wealthier people like gold and the rest he could care less about. We lived a couple of blocks from him at one time and we had our son, he NEVER visited. He never speaks at church. I’ve gone out of my way to be nice to him with no response. I’ve gotten to the point of wanting to change churches, but this is the church I grew up in and it means alot for me to stay… Other hurtful things have happened but I’ve taken to much space as it is. Someone please help. Suggestions? Comments?
1.) If I understand, this lady has been a Catholic all her life and she just joined your parish? Even if she is living in a sinful manner, I’m not sure how you would be certain about it, and I’m not sure how anyone else would know to the point of not allowing her to join your parish or to be blessed by a bishop. BTW, Catholics are not “christened”, they are baptised, receive holy communion and confirmation.

2.) No, if she is not a Catholic she is not allowed to receive Holy Communion.

3.) I’m not sure why your pastor would act in this matter, but it does sound like an extremely difficult situation. (Did you ever invite him over for dinner back when you lived close to him?)
 
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Crusader:
NancyB said:
2. There is another woman who has 2 children by her husband (he’s not Catholic and they were married in a Baptist church). She is allowed to receive communion. Is this right?
2.) No, if she is not a Catholic she is not allowed to receive Holy Communion.

Nothing in what **NancyB ** wrote indicates the woman is not Catholic. As to her marital status – It depends on what is meant by “married in a Baptist church”.

Was a Catholic priest present to receive the consent from the couple, and were the appropriate dispensations obtained? If not, was the marriage later regularized by the Catholic church (an event which may not have been as public as the Baptist ceremony)?
 
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tee_eff_em:
Nothing in what **NancyB ** wrote indicates the woman is not Catholic. As to her marital status – It depends on what is meant by “married in a Baptist church”.

Was a Catholic priest present to receive the consent from the couple, and were the appropriate dispensations obtained? If not, was the marriage later regularized by the Catholic church (an event which may not have been as public as the Baptist ceremony)?
That was kind of my thought process too. I have stood witness for people having their marriage blessed by the church after receiving the proper documentation.I have done so for Catholic’s married outside of the church, converts who come into the church with an irregular marriage problem that has been officially cleared and or they wanted to renew their vow’s in the Catholic church. It’s a quiet thing usually with just the couple, the priest and whoever they ask. No one else in the parish would necessarily know, but it would be completely legal and proper for her to receive in that case.
 
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NancyB:
I have a problem, and I seem to be the only one. There are 3 things that I am confused about. Actually 2, the other I’m just mad about.
  1. There is a woman who has joined our church. She has a child, out of wedlock, and is/was (the living arrangements change monthly, she and their daughter move in, then she’s getting kicked out) living with the father of her child. The priest knows this, and allowed her to join the church.
Maybe she has been to confession, we don’t know the state of her soul. Always assume the best.
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NancyB:
She claims that she was born catholic, but she’s lived in this area all her life and she nor any of her family have stepped foot in the church except for her daughters christening.
Maybe she was born and baptized Catholic and then her family fell away, and she found her way back. Have you ever talked to her to find out her story?
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NancyB:
  1. There is another woman who has 2 children by her husband (he’s not Catholic and they were married in a Baptist church). She is allowed to receive communion. Is this right?
If they obtained everything they needed from the Catholic Church to have the marriage approved then I don’t think there would be a reason she couldn’t receive. Her husband can’t because he is not Catholic.

Just remember “he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
 
“2. There is another woman who has 2 children by her husband (he’s not Catholic and they were married in a Baptist church). She is allowed to receive communion. Is this right?”

Sorry, I misread the above quote.
 
I can understand where this would be upsetting but be happy in their return to the Church.

Remember the Parable of the Lost Son - Luke 15:11-32

It is hard to see people accepted and praised when we have tried to do everything right and they have done everything wrong, but be happy in their return to the Church and praise them also. Teach them the ways of Jesus by your actions, as you have undoubtedly taught others.
 
NanceyB,

About the problems you seem to be having with your pastor, have you sat down to talk with. If not please make an appt. to do this a.s.a.p., it could be at some point there has been some kind of misunderstanding. Please remember to approach this with complete charity in your heart and do your best not to pre-judge or presume to know what he is thinking or going to say.
Linda H.
 
Nancey,

I had problems like yours. THOSE sinful people polluting our faith … the nerve.

Then I started looking at my life…what are others saying about me. I was pointing fingers at others so I would not have to deal with my own sinful ways…like judging others.

Remember: They too are God’s Children.
 
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