I am about the most over protective parent I know. I struggled with what schools to send my kids to as well. I have 3 kids ranging from 19 (in college now) to 15 (just started HS). I will let you know a little about the challenges and the decisions I made.
When my kids were born I was in the military. This was at the time when there were a bunch of daycare scandals and some were at military daycare facilities. I opted for private daycare at first. But what I didn’t like about these was that my providers were not as reliable as I wanted. In the military, you might have set hours but this can change at the drop of a hat. Well, my hours changed and my daycare provider didn’t want to accomodate so I looked into the base facility. I was scared because of the scandals. I interviewed them extensively. I was assured that the workers were monitored through the day and they were also videotaped. The director constantly observed her employees and was quick to weed out anyone who wasn’t up to her standards. I sent my kids there, and I can tell you, I was nervous as all get out. One day I went to pick up my son and he was walking funny. All he would say is “It hurts” I asked what hurt and he couldn’t answer me but was grabbing his diaper. I went nuts. I asked the workers what happened in a not-so-nice-way. She didn’t know so I put him up on the diaper changing table and stripped him… It turns out that one of the workers accidentally put his diaper on in a fashion that pinched his skin in the crease of his diaper area…whew!!!
OK…fast forward to Elementary school. DS went to a public school in MI for Kindergarten because there was no Catholic school on the military base. 1st grade we had moved and I left the service so he went to public school in IL. I went in and talked to all his teachers (art, music, gym, 1st grade) and the principal. They all seemed awesome and his transition to that school was fine. For 2nd grade he had to go to a different school in the same district because we had bought a house. I had nothing but trouble with this school. By the time he was in 3rd grade, his brother was in kindergarten and the real trouble started. I thought I didn’t have any choices at the time. So, I would address my concerns to the teachers and principals and yet nothing was done. My oldest got beat up by another kid and the school refused to do anything about it because it was after school on the way home. It was all because my son had a black friend. I threw a fit!!! I demanded that my sons be allowed to remain in the classrooms until a ride arrived. This was not a good idea because it singled the boys out but at the time it was the best idea I could think of.
By the time my daughter went to kindergarten we were in big trouble…I hated the schools, they weren’t keeping my kids safe, they weren’t teaching them very well, etc. We had issues with teachers being mean, with boys pinching my daughters buttocks, with my oldest getting injured bad enough that he should have gone to the hospital and the school didn’t even call, etc. I prayed to find an answer but it just didn’t seem to be working. After my son was struck by a teacher I decided to switch the kids to Catholic school. What a difference!!
The Catholic school doors were locked even before Columbine happened, the only way in is to get buzzed in. Parents were encouraged to volunteer in the school which made it easier to have a working relationship with teachers. My middle child got extra help from his teachers, but the biggest difference was manners and respect. The kids couldn’t even have ketchup for their french fries unless they said please and thank you! There was no students cussing at each other or the teachers!!!
Now my youngest 2 are in HS. We opted to send the boy to public school because he needed special help with his learning disorder. My daughter goes to Catholic HS. The public school has no locks or alarms on the doors but they have parent volunteers that wander the halls to make sure kids are in classes. The Catholic school has locked doors and parents are again encouraged to discuss problems and concerns with teachers and the priest. I had a problem with an assignment my daughter had to watch a movie I thought was inappropriate. I contacted the teacher and she and I and the priest discussed it. If I had my choice, I would send my son there too but since they don’t have services for learning disabilities, we had no choice.
This is just my experience. You can be as involved or uninvolved as you want to be with schools. I think a kid does better if parents are involved and care about not only what the school teaches, but how your kid is getting along with others and what kind of morals are encouraged.
