I've commited adultery many times

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doucine

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I’m into porn since before my marriage, I also cheated my wife when she was my fiance couple times.
We get married I “tried” to get rid of porn with no success so far…

When I first cheated her I felt really bad and confess… after that I cheated her many times with prostitutes and recently had a affair. I do not feel bad anymore, only afraid she can discover everything. I have a daughter three years old, we are married for five years. I say to me “someday I’ll stop with this… some day…”

In the past I was a more godly person, now I’m getting worst and worst… My wife and daughter went to a trip two weeks ago and I do not miss them…

She told me months ago she not love me anymore, sometimes we joke “why we got married”, “we should have party more”, “dated other people”, “having a threesome” … She said it looks like we are just living together, sharing the same house, taking turns to give bath, feed, and play with our daughter… not much family time together…

I’m so lost, so pagan, so broken…maybe she cheated on me too… no she still pure I think… OMG… What I am doing? Looks like I want this kind of life, had pleasure in it… but to have a holy family is the right thing to peruse… What do I do?
 
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What do you do?

Change.

Get blockers on any device you have that you use to watch porn on. Own up to your wife about your cheating because she needs to be aware of it, for her health at the very least. Get a sexual health check.

Stop being passive. You are the driver, you are in control of your behaviour. Get a grip on yourself.
 
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OP, I read your post, but I am wondering why you made this thread.

You are a serial cheater, and are dishonest, and have no remorse.
You do not mention love for your wife, or for the desire to change.
And now you want to know what to do?

Go to confession. Grow up and stop fulfilling your childish and selfish desires. Put your family first. Apologize to your wife. Stop acting like you are the victim in this story.
 
I really dont know what you hope to accomplish here. The answer is pretty obvious. Go to confession and amend your life, repent! And the second important thing. Get tested for STDs.
 
Get Covenant Eyes accountability software to help with the porn, go to confession whenever you fall into sin. Maybe get some relationship cousiling?

You say you dont feel bad anymore. Think of your daughter and how important it is for her to grow up in a healthy family. Finally, I would suggest praying more put at least a half hour aside each day to pray if you are not already doing this.
 
Why did you bother getting married sir? I’m not asking in a self-righteous way but dude… Really?
By the way. The grace of God is sufficient for YOU. Christ can heal you of all of this.
 
Hoosier-Daddy said:
I really dont know what you hope to accomplish here. The answer is pretty obvious. Go to confession and amend your life, repent! And the second important thing. Get tested for STDs.
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Sure the answer is almost obvious. But how to find deep inside what I need to change… maybe it should be posted in spirituality section …

I dont’t know if I should tell my wife about everything, If we should divorce… Or if I just change, repent and stop all this… I need to find strength , I need to find God again…
 
With all due respect, posting it elsewhere is not the problem.

If you want change, do the work.
 
Irishmom2 said:
If you want change, do the work.
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This.

There is no magic formula that will flick a switch in your head and wake you up. You have to make a conscious decision to change and stick to it. Again: you are not passive, or a vessel that things just happen to. You decide what path you take.
 
Lou2U said:
This.

There is no magic formula that will flick a switch in your head and wake you up. You have to make a conscious decision to change and stick to it. Again: you are not passive, or a vessel that things just happen to. You decide what path you take.
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I think when I got married I had this conscious decision to have a holy family… back in time me and my wife had a spiritual life together, we prayed together and such… now everything is gone, no inclination to heaven things, just earthly pleasures.

I see there is no magic formula… I have to think, see the beauty of family again, decide to live holy life, decide path I’ll take… Maybe prayers I need prayers … I need to pray.
 
I go to mass only because I have to go… sadly.
I went to confession couple months ago… but it’s hard… I see no changes, maybe no true repentance.

Maybe I’m in a darkest night of my life something like that… Hope still alive for now.
 
FCS said:
Get Covenant Eyes accountability software to help with the porn, go to confession whenever you fall into sin. Maybe get some relationship cousiling?

You say you dont feel bad anymore. Think of your daughter and how important it is for her to grow up in a healthy family. Finally, I would suggest praying more put at least a half hour aside each day to pray if you are not already doing this.
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I’m a computer programmer… I know how to hack these kinds of software… I’ve already tried that.
Yes I need to pray… not praying at all.

Maybe I don’t want to change but a need to… I’m not trying hard enough.
 
Yes you need pray!

In the Cathechism, it is written that the prayer is a battle.

Perhaps you suffer of some spiritual laziness, or some physical/mental/moral toripidity because of too much time with computers?
Are you depressed?
Perhaps you need to exercice, go back to real life innocent pleasure, instead of guilt one?
To reunite with your wife with common regular activities, like prayers, meal time, dates? To develop more intimacy?
To start with a couple retreat?

I don’t know if you can save your marriage.
Don’t know if you should tell your wife. Probably more honest, but be prepare for a divorce.

One thing is certain, if you do not take the resolution to save your family now, she will eventually lear it and it will be the end of your marriage.
 
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You should make an appointment and speak you a priest and be completely honest.
You might want to consider professional counseling. I suspect you have some issues in your life you are not acknowledging.
 
How about only using your phone while with other people. THat could work.
doucine said:
Yes I need to pray… not praying at all.
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That is probably contributing to the problem. Really, the more you pray the closer you will get to God. You will grow to hate sin.

I would suggest posting in the prayer intentions category here at CAF asking for prayers to help you and your family.
 
First, what do you want, now? I’m not saying it’s the best thing, just because you want it, but it will show you more where you stand on marriage, family, etc.

You probably can’t go without telling your wife about the fact that you’ve had sex with other women. She should be tested for STDs, some of which, sadly, she can get without any symptoms from you.

Here’s praying that your marriage can be healed. Hopefully, without too much harm to your daughter.
 
Blessed Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful-
Mother and love the weary, abused, neglected
or forgotten among us-
Give your aid to all needing help or healing-
Assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering-
Be with those needing peace-
Console the lonely or brokenhearted-
Comfort the lost or hopeless-
Strengthen the fearful-
Guard the unborn-
Pray for those who are dying or who have died-
Soften those with hardened hearts-
Enlighten those who do not yet see truth-
Help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go-
Show us the way to do the right thing-
Protect those who are in danger, and
Guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen
 
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