I will say a prayer for the Original Poster, that his situation come out well.
But apart from his own situation, which has its unique features like all our personal lives, it seems like situation with transitional deacons ought to come up far more often than it does.
I realize there is an intense scrutiny, both self scrutiny and by the seminary, before a man ever gets ordained a transitional deacon. But it seems there should have been a fair number of men, before and after the restoration of “permanent diaconate”, who were ordained as transitional deacons but they then determine, perhaps with consultation from their spiritual director should not be priests.
Lets assume there was no marriage, and no huge psychological or spiritual issues that would prevent them from ministry in general. You would think there would have been a lot of deacons, especially 1966 - 1976 when even new priests were leaving in droves, who would have changed their minds. They would now be “permanent deacons”. Why do we never hear about them, or this transitional to permanent deaconate process?